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Everything posted by momto6

  1. momto6

    Update on our life

    Awesome on nursing school! Congrats! And Good Job! Congrats on finding a job you love that can support you and family! I'm sorry about your marriage. Good job on your plan. Make sure that you talk to your lawyer about the sale of the house. You may be able to work out an "equitable" split that takes into account any funds you have put into it since the separation, or something that is more fair to the individual that has full custody of 6 kiddos. Also ask him about the tax repercussions. I know there may be some, and that you can mitigate them, but I'm not sure what or how. Please also remember to take care of you. Arrange a few hours when you aren't working, or studying, or taking care of kids, or working on something else.... where you can just BE. Where you can go to the park, or library, or just sit in your car and just be you. If you take care of you, it's easier to take care of everyone and everything else. Longest I was ever a "single parent" to 6 was about 4 months when DH deployed.... and it's not the same.... only advice I have is to make a pattern, a plan, a schedule of sorts. Everything worked better when we did that. And figure out what "good enough" looks like. It doesn't have to be perfect, just good enough. And to carve out time for you. If you snap at the little stuff, it's time for you to have a "time out".... even if you can only do it in the house when everyone has gone to bed! *L*. A good cup of cocoa, wine, or ice cream, a book that has nothing to do with anything (I call it brain candy), and a minute or 60 to yourself can work wonders. My children still remember the first time I put myself in time out! *LOL*. Bad day.... really bad day.... and I just decided that if the kids could have time out, then so could mom. Went into my room for 5 or 10 minutes. Knock on the door.... "MoooooooM!!!" What? ..... idk what tiny innane thing they wanted.... Is anyone bleeding? .....noooooo..... Is the house on fire? ....Nooooooo.... Does anyone require a doctor? .....noooooo..... Then mommy is in time out. I'll be allowed out in a few minutes. ......................... ...................... .............. Ok.......... (in awed whispers that could be heard a mile away). Mommy's in time out! What did she do? I don't know! But she's in time out! And then those precious little giggles that make mom's hearts melt. I think they stopped fighting or whatever they were doing, for a minute anyway..... and so was born Mommy's time out. And voluntary time out for that matter. The idea they you could put yourself in time out when you knew you needed it, or just wanted to be alone for a minute in what is a very chaotic house. It was a very good thing. =0) Good luck! And Congratulations. Hope you have a great day, and a time out as needed!
  2. momto6


    Yay! Congratulations!!!! WooHoo!!! ****Fireworks*** ***Confetti*** ***Cheers*** *Champange popping!!* Well, IMHO there should be all those things anyway! Congratulations!
  3. With determination and God's love you can do anything!  Hang in there!

    1. pcmedic


      Thank you. I posted an update on the forum

  4. My understanding is that collection agencies will settle for much less (since they usually buy the debt for pennies on the dollar), BUT get the agreement in writing before you send them a dime, and they usually want the entire amount at once. Agency A calls, and you come to an agreement on amount of settlement. They send you a letter (or it may be email now?!?) naming the settlement amount and that it settles the debt in full. You send them that amount. They seem less willing to settle for payments. At least from what I can recall. I like your "tiny house". How are you enjying it? Other than size it looks very home like! Are you parked on the land you purchased?
  5. Hi KBOL, I thought that 5.6 WAS normal.... I think 5.7 is actually "normal" so you are actually doing great! Most doctors will say that once you have been diagnosed, you will always be diabetic, you will just be "well controlled". So maybe that is what the doctor meant? We like the "Diabetic Living" recipes for diabetic friendly meals. Especially "Meals by the Plate". When we were first starting out, that was the book we used the most. And remember herbs and spices are FREE!!! *LOL* I always thoought of diabetic food as bland, but now that I can have my spices, it's not that different at all. Congratulations on getting your numbers down!! That's always exciting. =0) Good luck and keep up the good work!
  6. Dh's LAST diabetes appt was today. 18 months ago or so his A1C (blood sugar) was somewhere around 11.8 or something like that... high enough that he ended up in the ER, and freaked himself out. My last update was 6 months ago, where we learned about "partial remission", and with this appointment his A1c was 5.4 (NORMAL) and since it's been that way for a year without meds or surgery... the doc called it "FULL remission" and says she doesn't need to see us anymore!!! He still has to keep an eye on the A1c every 6 months or so, but all the reprecussions have reset back to what they were before. So now, we're kinda done with this season of life. *whew!* Best part for me, I mean other than having DH healthy, is that the doc has now seen it work, she now knows that it's possible and has helped one other person (her second) to go off the meds and control their blood sugar on their own. Which I think is just awesome! Our journey helped one other person..... And that makes me happy. =0) It's not all rainbows and posies.... he is still more susceptiple to it, it could come back, no promises. I don't think they do a whole lot of studies about this, and I don't know how many people end up right back where they started once they've been "in remission" for an extended period of time, but all that we'll just have to take one day at a time. And if it ever does come back, we'll deal with it. But for now..... NO MORE TYPE 2 DIABETES STUFF!!!!! =0) and I'm a happy girl!!
  7. momto6

    Divorce & Downsize

    I'm sorry that you are going through this. It's going to be up and down for a little while. I have to second the post about looking into prices for land in your desired area. As well as putting in a concrete pad, electricity, sewage, and water. Sometimes they aren't as cheap as we think they should be. Also look at the legalities of living in a motor home (5th wheel, travel trailer) in your area. Some areas have restricitions. Figure out if you CAN do what you want to do, in a way that works for you. Do you own a tow vehicle? What is the towing limit? Is it built for towing? (Many aren't.) When you know the limit you can begin to look at RVs that fit within that limit. If you look at RVs first, you may fall in love with one that requres a new towing vehicle. I think you could begin to search for a RV that suits your needs. Go to a couple of lots and see what the RVs have that you want, what would be nice, and what you can live without. Some are nearly house like now. Get on a couple of forums about those who full-time, and see what the concerns are. Depending on climate, you may be looking at specific requirements involving insullation and construction for full timing. Which will change the price you would have to spend. I would look into renting a RV for the weekend or a week and see how living in one actually is. I would recommend a month or more, but that gets REALLY pricy. (Unless you know someone who would be willing to lend you one for that time frame.) Sometimes it looks like a good idea, it sounds like a good idea, but ends up not being a good idea for you. Now is the time to figure that out, before you are stuck living in something you really don't want to. So I'm not sure that you want to speak to realtors just yet, but there is a lot you can do to see if you actually will want to speak to one later. Good luck!
  8. Sorry you are going through all this. (The D in DH doesn't always mean "dear"! *L*) Can you live with out him? Financially? Emotionally? Realistically? A house that needs a new roof will sell for less, but the new owners can usually get a loan to cover those costs. Can you clear the loan with what the relator thinks you can get for the house? AFTER fees? Can your family help with trucks or trailers to help get rid of the clutter? Trips to the dump or renting a storage facility in his name and putting it there? Hoaders tend to want to keep their "stuff". Get online and look up the items you have to sell. Ebay maybe. Look at things that are close to what you have and then you will find a price (or sorts). Is the desire to make the most money? Or get rid of the stuff and make a little money if possible? Because that will help you decide how to price them. I think it would be difficult to paint if there is clutter in the way, so maybe start this weekend to get rid of the stuff, selling and tossing. Then worry about paint and repairs when you can see the walls and the floor. If the realtor is just "getting more money", then so are you. They only get a percentage of what you sell the house for. Have a plan, have somewhere to go, a way to get there, and a plan to get all your stuff BEFORE you tell DH that you are moving without him. If possible, have that savings account ready to go, change your pay to direct deposit into it. Review all the bills in your name and change that.... either the address, or get them out of your name. You might try printing out that post to give him when you decide to tel him. It's very clear, and explains some of the whys.... or as trite as it may sound, a "dear John" letter, allows you time to plan what to say and how, and allows you to get everything out. Just remember, anything in writing can be used in court. =0) "Say it, Forget it... Write it, Regret it." Good luck. I think you will feel better once you get a plan.
  9. For roasted veg, I bought a "spritzer".... It sprays like a can of Pam, but is whatever oil I choose to put in it (and without the chemicals), and enables me to put a very light coating on the veg. When roasting potatoes, I generally add other veg in with them. It "stretches" them a bit and makes them look like more (without adding more carbs). Saltine crackers are 6-7 per serving... I replaced them with "good thins", which give the flavor and texture of crackers without all the carbs (they are made from veg, not flour), AND is 15-16 per serving.... there are a LOT of varieties of "good thins", some are better than others!! Smash up the ones you don't like and use as "cracker crumbs" in baking/cooking. =0) With bread, watch the serving size on the packages.... sometimes it is 1 slice, sometimes 2. Sneaky people! Good luck! It's a real pain in the pahtooty in the beginning, but once you get past the learning curve, it becomes normal. =0) And it's SO worth it!
  10. Breakfast (pick one) "egg mcmuffin" homemade.... english muffin toasted, topped with 1 egg scrambled, and a slice of cheese **Made on weekend and frozen for weekday ease. Heated in microwave. Sometimes adds sausage or ham (though infrequently because of the salt in the ham). Grits with butter (1/3 c dry and 4/3 c water, nuked) 1T butter Sometimes 2 breakfast bars (prefers nurtigrain) if he's in a hurry Waffles (Nutrigrain (I think) Eggo) infrequently and with maple syrup (low sugar and by the serving size) Weekends - 2 eggs usually scrambled, toast, sometimes sausages Snack (10am or so and 3pm or so and evenings about 3 hours after dinner) only ONE of these per snack. 15 pringles chips (low salt) Nut exactly (snack food) Fruit cups packed in water (not syrup or juice) yogurt (chiobani greek) pudding cup (sugar free) applesauce cups (low sugar - check carbs on these) crackers and cheese (1 pre-packaged) crackers and cheese - Good thins and cheddar or laughing cow (low fat) (I believe 15ish crackers with this one) apple banana raw veggies with "low fat" dip... didn't do that on purpose, but bought it on accident once and it actually tasted better, so that's what we buy now. =0) It's hard for me to say what he eats when.... these are the things that I keep on hand, and he chooses each day based on what he feels like having that day. =0) Lunch (with salad most days or raw veg/fruit) plus one of the following Usually leftovers from dinner PB (best Piggly Wiggly store brand) & Jelly (sugar free jelly, check carbs and serving sizes on bread, "nature's own" seems to be best) Check serving sizes, actually is an adequate amount, though it won't seem so in the beginning. Egg salad sandwiches tuna fish sandwiches Dinner Usually out of a diabetic living cookbook... but sometimes when a craving hits, stuff that just isn't that good for him, but smaller serving sizes. "Always start with salad and if dinner doesn't fill you, have a bit more salad at the end." (after he makes carbs for meal (we shoot for 45ish) he'll have a bit more salad if he's still hungry.) Favorites.... meatballs with balsamic cherry sauce, with roasted root veg Mini meat loaves (cooked in cupcake pan easy to see serving sizes!!) - with large salad - I may add either low carb veg (asparagus or green beans), or mashed potatoes if the day is low in carbs Chicken Rolls (Pollo Relleno) with greens and couscous, and steamed carrot sticks Chicken BLT wrap with fresh veg and dip Pork Medallions with Lemon-pecan spinach and rice (I tried brown rice, but he really doesn't like it.) Salmon, asparagus, roasted potatoes and leeks Basil-Lemon Shrimp Linguine with Baby greens with oranges (salad) Szechwan Chicken and Veg stir fry If we have something that is high carb (mashed potatoes) I try to pair it with something that is lower carb for the rest of the meal.... Most veg is low carb.... salads change flavor by what you put in them (fruit surprised him, but he likes it), fish or chicken generally can be low carb... and when I make things that have higher carbs (mac and cheese or spaghetti) and make sure that there's a large salad before, and the serving sizes are known. We eat a variety of foods and lots of plants (like 3/4th the plate usually). But sometimes (like last night was DD's birthday) we have club sandwiches, veg tray, and piece of b-day cake. (We bought pizza for the kiddos, having 15-17 in the house this evening.) He had a chicken/ vegetable (peppers, onions, carrots, and broccoli)/ pasta dish (leftover) for lunch. (**More chicken and veg than pasta.**) Snacks were applesauce, and pringles, and this evening more veggie tray. Breakfast was 2 breakfast bars, because he was running late. Drinks... He has found that he prefers the no sugar squirt bottles to flavor water, better than he likes plain water, so he drinks 3-4 20 oz bottles mixed with those things. And a cup of coffee with Stevia. (yesterday) He also drinks Coke Zero (likes it better than other diet sodas) although he did have a diet mello yellow (he thinks) that he liked. And he likes the diet lemon-aid from Chick-filet. (but he didn't have those yesterday.) Did that answer your question? I can keep track for a few days of what he eats.
  11. Thank you both. Plinda, I think that some of the medical professionals don't take it seriously enough though too. They don't stress the possibility of control, or the importance of it. (at least not as much as they could) They don't talk about the possibility of NOT needing the meds or explain why that may be important, especially if you have go back onto them later. In fact they kind of fight going off them.... not "fight" really, but discourage. I think everyone could at least TRY to get to the point where they didn't need the meds. But it's hard for the patient when the doc doesn't necessarily know what to do to get off them, and hasn't run into anyone who has.... like ours hadn't. I think that ours was trying to be encouraging, and didn't stress the consequences. (Those first few weeks are kind of blurry to be honest.) I know ours was THRILLED when we got to "normal for diabetic" numbers and really rather flabbergasted when we told her that we wanted "normal for NON diabetic" numbers. She had to look them up to tell us what they were. All that to say that while I think that many can have more control than they do, I think that the medical professionals are falling down on the job a bit too, and the medical insurance companies won't pay for the proper amount of supplies to enable someone to GET better control. So while yes, YOU are ultimately responsible, it's difficult when the "professionals" are not saying that it's a big huge deal. I know way to many people who just take the pills and make no other changes because their DOCTOR said that the pill would "fix" the problem. Debtbegone....I had to laugh, DH wanted to try cold cereal again, and did just two days ago. It blasted his blood sugars into "normal for daibetic" numbers which is as high as he's seen them in quite some time (including after birthday cake!!!), so no cold cereal here. Though I think he would pay a LOT of money to have one that was ok. =0) Also that you mentioned "living like no one else", since in the beginning we took "baby steps" to get to where we are now. Other than the massive junk food dump in the very beginning, everything else has been baby steps, looking for "better" not necessarily "best".... for example kale may be "best" but spinach tastes better and is nearly as good... much better actually for DH because he won't eat the kale, but will spinach! *L*
  12. Thank ya'll. =0) kelvan - Just know that sometimes your will is simply not part of the equation with this disease. There's a lot that can put it off, but sometimes meds are necessary, and skinny "healthy" people get it too. So IF it does happen, it's not your fault and you can deal with it. =0) I still don't think I know enough about anything to write a book, but thanks! *L* fpmomma - Thank YOU! That was my hope and intention with sharing. I too have been surprised with the number of folks who have this disease that share once they know we too have it.... I say we, but it's really just DH, though we both deal with the impact. =0) I just ask that if you have those family members over for dinner that you make something yummy that's good for them too! =0) It's really a bummer to go and not be able to eat anything (or not much). And it will make them feel all warm and fuzzy inside that you actually went through the trouble for them!
  13. After 1 year his A1C is holding steady at 5.3 (off meds) and has lost 75 pounds (hovering between 75 and 80). Wants to lose 10-15 more ideally, but is currently stalled where he is. A few newer definitions.... these apparently haven't been around long and are based on the new (to medical professionals) idea that diabetes actually CAN go into remission (what some folks are calling "cured")... "partial remission" = fasting glucose between 5.6 and 6.9 for at least a year (no meds) "complete remission" - fasting glucose below 5.6 for at least a year (no meds) "prolonged remission" - longer than 5 years (no meds) (for those who ARE medical professionals and want more detail.... http://care.diabetesjournals.org/content/32/11/2133 or search "diabetes remission") For those who have Type 2, this is quite a change. The medical field was saying the return to "normal" readings was simply "diabetes that was very well controlled", and then someone studied something like 120,000 people with type 2 diabetes (without surgery to control weight and no meds), and came up with this study and now the medical field is slowly coming around. =0) Personally I think that calling it in "remission" sounds much better! It gives us hope anyway. His cholesterol numbers have gone up or down whichever was better.... some go up it's good, some go down it's good... I think they do that to confuse us! *L* But his numbers are going the right direction! Ever so slowly, but moving! The high blood pressure is just totally gone. So at a year we are looking at the "partial remission" in a few months, and possibly "complete remission" with the next test in August. And still on no meds! =0) When we started, I'll admit it was scary. I had visions of testing 10 times a day forever, food that doesn't taste good, needles full of insulin, and medication that lasts forever.... then I started reading about complications!! YIKES!! Now, it's just life. With the control we have now those complications are very far off, if ever. Insulin never became an issue, and the meds are all gone. They didn't last forever, only as long as we needed them. =0) Our doc has changed her tune (at least with us) and is learning about how it IS possible to "reverse diabetes" (type 2 anyway). Which I consider a win. =0) I now have a solid foundation of things that are good to eat (and good for diabetes), so no longer have to spend hours pouring over recipes and looking up new ones, and no longer spend hours in the grocery store! *L* I have found that I shop cookbooks differently now. They have to have the nutritional information for the recipes or have so few ingredients that I can approximate. =0) **For those that are looking for GOOD tasting "diabetic" cookbooks, look at "Diabetic Living" books, and remember herbs and spices do NOT have an impact on blood sugar.... at least not in the amounts that makes food taste good!!!** Soooooo.... HOW did we do this? If you want to read it it started last Feb in this blog... but I'll put the basics here. (for those familiar, the rest is just a recap) DH was 311 pounds, eating junk food at work daily, drank 3 sodas (or more) a day as well as coffee loaded with sugar. Breakfast was a breakfast biscuit that had bacon, fried potatoes, an egg and a biscuit, all covered in grease, washed down with a large container of OJ. Lunch was mostly out and mostly fried. The day he went to the ER because his vision was blurry and discovered that his blood glucose was 450 (not 80-100 like it should be) that all changed, the panic set in (to become our friend for the few weeks). No more soda, no more coffee, no more juice, no more junk food, he ate breakfast at home, and took leftovers or sandwiches for lunch. *** We now have added some of those back in.... coffee is back with stevia instead of sugar, soda is coke zero and only about one per week maybe... juice is an occasional treat, we have some junk food but have evaluated junk foods for the "least bad" =0), he eats lunches out sometimes, but tends towards the lighter side and not fried now, and we do eat out and not always what's best for us! =0) We read EVERYTHING. Online, books, pamphlets, heck if someone stuck something to a bulletin board I would have read it. Within the first two weeks, we got on two different meds, and changed one because I didn't like what I was reading about it, then dropped the "big" one entirely when his blood sugar started going too low. We stayed on the other med at half the "usual" dosage.... then dropped it after a few months when we had a better handle on the numbers. For that first month we tested 10 times a day... first thing in the morning, 1 and 2 hours after meals (that's 6 more times), before snacks (2 more times) and sometimes at the third hour if the numbers didn't go down, finally before bed.... DH said he felt like a pin cushion! But that was the only way we figured we could get control of those numbers and see what foods raised his blood sugar. The "once a day" plan that the doc recommended did not give us the information we needed, so 10 times a day until the numbers were where we liked them. We ended up cleaning out doc's "free samples" and buying one more set of strips (outside of insurance) until we figured we had a handle on it pretty well. He now tests first thing in the morning.... most days (it really should be every day), tests new foods, and if he just doesn't feel right. We spent 45 minutes looking at fruit cocktail that first day after the appt. I never knew how many different kinds of canned fruit were out there. And carbs went from 11 (or 15) per serving to over 50!! If you multiply this by how many items there are in the grocery store, you know we were at this for awhile!!! It DOES get better. Eventually we figured out what was best (and that includes taste... "fat free ice cream is awful, and only has about 2 carbs less than the "real" type!! Except "skinny cow" he likes those) and now shopping doesn't take any longer than it did before. Mostly we stay away from pre-packaged anything, and shop the edges of the store.... very little from the middle..... which, come to think of it, is what we did before!! *L* I asked the doc questions at EVERY appt. If I had a question I wrote it down in a notebook and then asked her at the next appt. She had to look some things up (Like I wanted to know what "normal for normal" blood sugar numbers.) but she was happy to answer the questions. *And there were a LOT!!* I think.... if I had to say, that the MOST vital thing to getting the blood sugar under control would have to be that testing. You can change how you eat, but if you do not know how that food affects you and your blood sugars, then it doesn't really matter. You can exercise, but again, if you don't know how that affects you, you could be bouncing from highs to lows and creating havoc with your body. And this was probably the hardest part. Hardest for DH because he had to stick himself every day 10 times a day for nearly a month, and it is hard to argue for certain foods when he could SEE the numbers go up. Hardest for me, because a grumpy DH is not easy to live with. Talking him into it was not easy (though he's glad he did it now). And although the doc agreed that it was the only way to get control, she couldn't do anything to get us enough strips to test like that.... she did give us a LOT of "samples" to help, but we did end up having to buy another 50 (or 100) pack off Amazon (best price... be aware of dates, and how soon they expire). We used them before our "prescribed" strips because they expired first. (*We did it this way because we wanted the same strips on the same tester to compare, but for those who are more strapped for cash, you can find a generic tester and strips for FAR less than the prescribed ones we had.) Why??? Because his blood sugar was under control EXCEPT his after breakfast number. That number was WAY out of whack. Had we tested only in the morning when he first got up (docs recommendation), we would have never known that cold cereal was throwing off his numbers for the entire day. The first thing in the morning number was fine and the rest of the day numbers were fine, but the cold cereal threw him all out of whack. Once we figured it out and made substitutions, he felt better all day long. I don't know how having such a high number first thing in the morning every morning would have effected his A1C number, but I'm certain it would have. His numbers came down quickly that first month, with changes to diet. And since April (diagnosed Feb) we have mostly been in a maintain kind of mind set. We did NOT stop at "normal for diabetic" numbers but pushed for "normal for NOT diabetic numbers" and once we reached those, just kept doing what we were doing. I do not say that he's "cured". If he went back to eating the way he was before, I have the feeling that the diabetes would be right back front and center in our lives. But for now, it's not. (It's still there, but not all-consuming like it was.) And since he's not taking those meds, if it ever does come back and can't be controlled by diet, then we can start on the lighter meds with not as many side effects. =0) It CAN be done... controlling type 2 diabetes with diet.... but it was darned hard that first month. It won't be forever, but getting it done is important. I could tell you what we ate and what we are eating now, but really, it will be different for everyone, the foods affect everyone differently, and you have to see what works for you and more importantly what doesn't. And ALWAYS work with your doctor, even if they don't think it can be done. YOU may just be the one to change their mind! *L* Thanks for reading my novelas, and for all your support during this very long year.
  14. I didn't mean to terminate her rights... that is a serious charge and usually for criminal or neglect reasons. Very difficult to do and mostly undesirable. Full physcial custody just means that they live with you and DH full time and visit their mom. Rather than moving back and forth in some kind of way (other than weekend or longer visits). No, debt will not cause her to lose CUSTODY.... but failing to pay for needed medical care, or clothing that fits, or after care (depending on age)... may. It's not that she has debt, it's that she's not taking care of the children's needs. Glad you are feeling better! Good luck.
  15. Are her actions actually harming the children? If so, I believe you have the OBLIGATION to sue for full physical custody. Period. Of the two parents, one has to look out for the children's best interest. Now for the hard part.... Did you or DH sign documents that said you would pay for after care? If not, it's not your business. Did you or DH sign documents that said you would pay for "hot" lunch at school? If not, it's not your business. Get the x's telephone numbers (work/home) and EVERY time that the school calls you to pay the lunch bill, give them her contact information and tell them that she is responsible for paying that. If it is possible, you can ask that they call BEFORE allowing the children to charge lunch, and you can take them one from home. Pain in the behind, not your job, but better for the kids. IF you or DH WANT the children in aftercare, then request IN WRITING a bill for period covered and any payments made. If you want them to have something other than a PB&J sandwich for lunch when they have stayed with her, then request IN WRITING a bill for dates/children covered and any payments made. Then pay it. I do not believe that they will go without lunch on any day, that the school will simply stop providing "hot" lunches. I think they "have" to make sure that the kid gets a lunch of some kind. Get the same documents from the orthodontist. Having it IN WRITING by a third party takes it from the "bitter spouse" category into the "children wronged" category, and will go much further in court. Write down all your complaints.... the clothing, the unpaid debts to your DH personally, etc... Send her a bill for all child related debts she owes the you have paid. Include copies of all documents. Then suck it up and file for full physical custody. Include the debts that you have paid on behalf of the children as part of that case. Here's the cold hard truth.... you will likely never see that money again. Write it off in your head. GIFT it to the kids. There's a reason she's an x. Your speaking to her will NOT help the children, and will likely only hurt them. It may make you feel better for a minute, but probably not in the long run. You have to make a decision about whether or not you want to spend the additional money on the kids knowing you will never see it again. She's a bum. She's a bad parent. OK, that may be true.... but does it have any effect on how you want those children raised or the opportunities you want to give them? Yes, she should pay, but she won't. Period. How does that effect what you want to do for the children? Only difference is that anything over the $800, YOU get to decide exactly how it's spent and on exactly what. And she has no say about it. =0) Good luck! I understand the frustration, figure out what you CAN do and concentrate on that rather than trying to change someone who is totally happy with who she is.
  16. momto6


    OK, so YAY! In less than 3 months your FFEF will be back to full! SO glad you had it and so glad it did what it was supposed to do!!! Personally, I do not consider myself back in BS3 when we use the FFEF. I still consider myself in BS6-7, just pausing it to refill the FFEF. I expect to have to refill it when used, and I expect it to be used sometime. So it's not really backsliding to me, it's using it for what it's there for, and ensuring that it's there in the future. Since you are temporarily stopping a 529, I assume that you are in BS6, and have paused that step to refill the FFEF. As ar as your second(? third? fourth?) job.... with the information I have......I think you should wait. Here's the thing..... You spend time or money. Period. There is nothing else available. My mom told me a quote the other day (sorry to whomever said it, because I can't remember, if she told me.).... The quote was "Spend your money on things money can buy. Spend your time on things money CAN'T buy." Not sure that that mom's group is helpful to you at this point in your life. Rather than being refreshed, you are coming out of that group dissatisfied with life. Can you take a hard look at your budget and see any holes in your bucket? It may be enough to plug those holes. You might think about giving up a luxury or two to keep the luxury of time. Or you might contact a local homeschooling group and see if you can find a mother's helper. The child can gain babysitting experience, possibly home ec credit, and you can be home with the freedom to work on what you need to (possibly saving time to spend later), getting your "work" done during the day, while able to take "baby" breaks =0), and be sure that you are there when he needs you. I think I remember that you were going to spend $1000 on re-staining a deck..... is this hiring it out? I think that unless there is extensive repairs that this is something that you and DH could do together (with the baby in a backpack). Saving you maybe half the cost. So this is kind of "saving", even if it's only "saving" what you would have spent. If you can find a day off for both of you. =0) Probably needs to be done soon though. It has to be pressure washed ($150 or so for the weekend to rent.... $0 to borrow), which can be done in the rain if necessary, but then you have to let it dry out before staining/sealing and you want a dry sunny day (or 2) for it to dry, which will start to get fewer and fewer and the seasons change. Good luck!
  17. germaine - I never say "don't listen to the doctor"... unless the doctor is saying something is impossible! *L* But I do say "Question EVERYTHING, including what the doctor says." I do respect doctors but I think that sometimes they can get stuck in a rut like everyone else and not look at the patient so much as the disease. So shake them up! *L* fpmomma - I think that that is key.... making the lifestyle changes that fit with your life. If you try to do everything at once, then you end up feeling deprived, then you binge, then you give up. We started saying sometimes we will fail, as long as we get right back up, it's ok. Especially if it's something that's lifelong.... It's much harder to say "I can never have that again.", rather than "I choose not to have that right now." Davage - I think what helped us the most was portion control. A "serving size" is not what you think it is. So calories turn out to be something different than you might think (like a pot pie that is 2 servings). Eating out is almost always 2 servings. That kind of thing. Just so you know he wasn't "pre-diabetic" he was full blown type 2 diabetic.... his blood sugar in January was 450 (now is 90s) and his A1C was 11.6 (now 5.3). And don't let yourself be hungry. Eat until you are full, just eat better. Including a salad with the meals helps. Home cooking helps. And dishing out "serving sizes" helped, you could always have more, but one serving at a time.... that really brought home how much we were eating. Good luck! Thank you all for the nice words and support. =0)
  18. So we had our 9ish month check up... hard to believe that it's really been that long, but it has. Total pounds lost - 71-75 depending on when he steps on the scale. Total A1C - 5.3 (normal high is 5.6, anything over that gets you a diabetes diagnosis) Started at 11.6 Total cholesterol - 163 (I think), generally they want it to be under 200. Started around 200. Blood pressure normal.... started borderline high Total medications - ZERO!! Started on two different ones for diabetes, with the doc wanting to prescribe one for high blood pressure and another for cholesterol. So he went from borderline high blood pressure and borderline high cholesterol to normal ranges. Should still get the "good" cholesterol up a bit, but the only way to do that is exercise and he's not wanting to go that way yet. If he walked in to the doctor today, without the prior diagnosis, he would not be diagnosed as diabetic OR pre-diabetic. I find that amazing. *L* So did the doc. She is apparently trying to get a diabetic support group together and asked us to speak at it. I don't know if she would really want us to do that. We aren't conventional. *LOL* Most of the things she suggested, we ignored. We did our own research and did what worked for us. We haven't really "exercised", although we are doing more simply because we feel better, and did things like getting a push mower when the old one died, instead of self propelled. We also tested A LOT. Like the docs say test once a day, and in the beginning we tested when first getting up, before eating (that's the one they suggest) then after breakfast at one and two hours, before snacks, 1 and 2 hours after lunch, after snack, 1 and 2 hours after dinner, before snack and before bed. Only 10 more times a day then they wanted. But it has never made sense to me that you test before you do anything to alter your basic number and then not again until you have been fasting for 8-10 hours. How do you figure anything out? How do you know what raises your sugars? Anyway.... We no longer test that way, it was necessary in the beginning, and once we figured out what raised his sugars and changed it to something that didn't (like a homemade egg McMuffin for breakfast instead of ANY pre-made cereal... box cereal is for later in the day if he wants it, it doesn't raise it then.), we don't test after eating it, because we know it's ok. We ran out of test strips and had to find an alternative source (Amazon.com is the cheapest we've found), because the insurance doesn't like to prescribe more than 1-2 a day for type 2 diabetics. We discovered that box pasta and Mexican food need to be tested at 2 and 3 hours instead of one and two that way. For some reason they don't raise sugars until then. We never got up to the 2000mg of the meds that she wanted in the beginning. (standards of care dictated that amount) I guess we did everything "wrong"..... but it was right for us. We still eat bread and pasta (bad), just in smaller amounts. Portion control had more to do with the weight loss than not eating certain things. We also eat out and live life. Birthday parties get cake (but we don't do it often). We have ice cream sometimes. And rice. And basically everything.... except cereal in the morning.... we have cereal, but not in the morning. =0) And we still test when we have something new. So anyway, I'm not sure that she wants us to speak to a group that is struggling with controlling their diabetes. I don't know that what we did would work with everyone.... I'm pretty sure it won't. The only thing I can say that I think would help everyone is test, test, test, and then test again. Make yourself a human pin cushion for the first month (well plan on the first month, it may not take that long, and it may take a little longer). And that you should treat it as a living experiment. Figure out what works for YOU. Doctors can make suggestions, but every single person is unique and "standards of care" may not be the best care for YOU the individual. Anyway, our next appointment is in 6 months. So yay! And we asked her once about how if you had high blood pressure and you got it under control without meds you no longer really had "high blood pressure" and how long you had to have your A1C be "normal" and your blood sugars "normal" before the docs considered you to no longer had diabetes.... at the time she said never. *L* Before we left the last appointment, she said that if we continued what we were doing, she may have to reconsider her stance on thinking that diabetes couldn't be "cured", just controlled. *LOL* Poor doc. We have given her "homework" I think every time we have gone in, something to research, something to look up. We have made her think of the patient, instead of "standards of care". And now this. She may never be the same! *L* So that's the update. I don't know if I believe that diabetes can be cured.... I think if he went back to what he was doing before he'd be in the same amount of trouble... but it was truly a "lifestyle choice" and I don't know that we'll ever go back.
  19. fpmomma: It was wonderful. If you visit Atlanta, it's definately worth the trip!! Kelvan: What to write about???? *L* I have been telling EVERYONE about this store!! *L* Friends, neighbors, the guy in the local produce section.... everyone! Thanks about DH's numbers. We're cautiously optomistic. =0) Katiebug: It was a really fun store, if you go, and make a list, separate it by country rather than like you would for a regular grocery store! And wear walking shoes..... and make sure you have plenty of time...(seriously, like Lowes!!) And if you actually visit the food court in front can you tell me how it was??? Please?!?! *L* I hope you enjoy it! Oh! and there was plenty of parking, so no worries on that score.
  20. So, I usually do not do this, but I have to tell ya'll about a store I went to the other day. It was "Buford Highway Farmer's Market" in Atlanta (Doraville to be exact). It is SOOOOOOOO not a farmer's market, so if you go, don't expect it to be locally grown produce, or really local anything. But let me tell you about this store...... First it's the size of a Home Depot or Lowes. Second it's quite possibly the most wonderful store I've been to in a long time. It's basically a grocery store.... It's really a grocery store for the WORLD. We'll start with produce, because that is what I walked into..... I wanted to look at peppers, because really, there are a lot of different peppers and very rarely do you see more than 5 or so at a time..... this place had an entire block (those things in the middle of produce sections) of peppers... hot peppers, sweet peppers, little peppers, large peppers, Mexican peppers, Thai peppers, Chinese peppers, peppers I have never seen before. It had about 10 different kinds of FRESH mushrooms, and probably that many different kinds of tofu. There were fruits and vegetables I've never heard of, and many that had taken on mythical qualities, as I had heard of them but never seen them before. As well as the "normal" fruit and veg. FRESH turmeric!!! This section of the store was HUGEMONGUS!! Seriously. Front to back, not some afterthought stuck in the corner. That in itself was enough to sell me on this store. But WAIT!!! There's more!!! This section was less than 1/4 the entire store. The aisles are separated by country of origin. Want something to cook a hispanic dish? You don't have to search the entire store for the three shelves of "hispanic" foods, two of which are salsa. You can browse entire aisles of "hispanic" foods and ingredients. Now I did not walk these aisles (I was looking for Asian), but there were about 10, and they were packed ceiling to floor with everything you could imagine. There was a bakery with fresh bread, a counter with possibly Russian (or some other slavic country that uses the same alphabet) and all kinds of prepared foods, a frozen food section with pre-made items also separated by country, even an American section (which I did not even glance into).... and in the back of the middle part of the store was the fish counter...... area..... section..... Everything from "crab sticks" (imitation) to prawns, and shrimp and octopus and squid and things that I didn't identify and fish out the wazoo.... The "meat counter" covers the back of most grocery stores... double it, maybe triple it and you will have the size of this fish counter. And it smelled like fresh fish. Not day old fish, not nasty, just clean, with a hint of the sea. *sigh* It was fabulous!!! Back to the center parts.... Norwegian, English, Scottish, German, Middle Eastern, whatever, it was there. It finished up with a frozen Asian section..... But wait..... then you turned around and the remaining aisles in the store were Asian.... Thai, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Filipino.....and others I'm sure. First the refrigerated section..... from Japanese pickled ginger to Korean kimchee.... it was there. Separated by country as well. Need soy sauce for a Japanese dish, they had it, need it for a Korean recipe, it's in the Korean section... I didn't know there was a difference, but apparently there is. Then behind all of that is a prepared food section.... from kum bop, to dumplings, prepared fresh.... *sigh* like a street vendor almost. Walking towards the front of the store sees you into the gadget section.... from sushi mats to dumpling makers, to rice cookers, it's all there. BUT you aren't done even YET!! After you check out, there's a food court in the front. We ran out of time and didn't make it there, but the smells coming from that area made me want to! Now we started this quest to find some items used in Filipino cooking that weren't in our local area. One of those items was annato seeds. Not even the Filipino store in Atlanta carried them, but this place did... (in the Hispanic section, but still). Now I had recently been to a Mexican grocery (that you could fit three or four of in the hispanic section), and an Asian foods store (mostly Korean, some Thai, very little Filipino) That would sit in the refrigerated Asian section of this store, and an actual Filipino store (that one was tiny, though packed).... and got more from this store than from all the rest. I must admit, that even I who has been in all kinds of markets in all kinds of countries was a bit overwhelmed by the sheer amount of items available in this store.... but I LOVED it. And the prices were reasonable. The store was clean and did not smell unpleasant... in fact quite the opposite, it was very inviting. The personnel were helpful and knowledgable, even about foods not in their sections. The aisles were large enough to easily navigate, even with the carts. Now, keep in mind, I am a country girl.... totally... But I will return to this store in the heart of Atlanta traffic, in a city with millions of folks, because in my experience it was just that unique and special. And truly, I can not say that about very many places. For those looking for an update on the diabetes, we had another appointment, we have one more to go before we go to spacing them 6 months apart.... For this one we dropped all meds, went through two surgeries, took our trip, and another shorter one for my grand-daughter's birthday, had birthday cake.... (hey first grandchild, first birthday!! and topped out at 174, not good, but not bad either) and the doc is happy with his numbers. I'm not as sure as she is, but I think she's trying to tone down the militant in me a bit. =0) His numbers went up about 10 points off the meds to the low 90s in the morning, and are a lot closer to "normal for normal" highs after eating (140s), but tend to come down quickly as well (100s at the 2 hour). Sooooooo.......... it's looking good off the meds, but we're still checking regularly after meals and sometimes randomly... next month we'll see what the trips and surgeries did to his A1C numbers. And go from there. Doc was surprised, thought she was going to have to talk us back onto meds.... instead we talked her off them! *L* He's down 62 pounds now... or something close to that. Still losing, though it's slowed down some lately, I think he's getting closer to where he's "supposed to be" so it's coming off slower. =) Thanks for reading my commercial. *L* We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming! =0)
  21. *LOL* Thanks fpmomma. =o) It was a lot of fun. Both in the planning and the doing. It was an adventure. *L* And yes, for now, about every 2 years we plan a similar trip. We have relatives scattered here tither and yon, and really, I'm a gypsy at heart, so this kind of trip settles my wanderlust, and we get to see all the relatives that can't travel. (or at least not far) This country is beautiful... from the deserts to the mountains, from the seashores to the midwest. There is something for everyone. From tiny little towns (population 13) to huge cities (I don't want to consider exactly how many folks live there), and everything in between. We do have a lot of fun. We do the touristy things, and whatever else catches our fancy. It's a bit of wandering, a bit of family, a bit of schooling, and a lot of just plain fun. I left out the Sacajawea center and catching, cleaning and cooking their own fish... even ate them (though they can all do without the cleaning part again!!). And the frog legs.... And seeing a bus from a local small town school in a little podunk town in SD. THAT was a trip. Girls even knew and talked to some of the kids on the bus!! By all means, as long as you are not one of those "gotta get there NOW" kind of folks, and can stand a little adventure (like one hotel where the toilet flushed only every third time, or one restaurant where the food really wasn't very good) and a bit of silliness, and a whole lot of fun, then this is (IMHO) the ONLY way to see the country. On the backroads you get to see so much that the interstate passes by. From mining towns, to locally mined (found) semi-precious stones, to some very well run local "museums", local veteran's memorials, to heros unknown to most of the world. (Or once known and now forgotten, except by their hometowns.) If you are one of those "gotta get there NOW" kind of folks, maybe a few side trips off the interstate can be worked into the itinerary. =0) Hi Plinda... yes, we did. When we discovered that our trip was going to hit somewhere around 20+ states, we decided to see what we could do about getting to half of the states! A little side trip here, a little rerouting there and we hit the magic number of 25 states! *LOL* Still have about 6 to go to finish filling the little map on the back of the car though!
  22. We're back from our whirlwind trip around the US. Went to visit mom in Idaho, via Albuquerque, NM, and Portland, OR. Saw 4 families of relatives, one a brother DH hadn't seen in 30+ years. We now have 6 states left in the continental US that we haven't visited together. Had to replace two tires on the road.... no biggie since we have a sinking fund for tires. =o) Stayed within budget. Had a BLAST! Saw the Painted Desert, ate at a fabulous little restaurant in Albuquerque, drove the ET highway, and ate at the A'LE Inn. Saw Mount Shasta, and entered Oregon in the rain, and stayed in the rain until we left. *L* Drove by Mount Hood, enjoyed a little snow... in May! Took a tour of a Wool Mill, visited an outlet for Pendleton (and picked up craft supplies), visited Mount Rushmore, and lost the Badlands to a spectacular thunder storm. Visited Bear Country, saw the St. Louis Arch. Visited a lot of craft stores. Saw a giant jack rabbit, a flying saucer (landed), an alien, dinosaurs and dragons, one Egyptian god, miles and miles of windmills, tilting water towers, a field where someone planted Cadillacs, and one corn palace. *LOL* Met hundreds of wonderful people and a few characters. Found out what "keep Portland weird" means (and I don't think they'll have any trouble with that!!). Picked up caches in every state and THE first cache in OR. Visited beautiful state parks in many states, several waterfalls, and drove over many mountains. Went through 25 states, and quite a few "nations" (Indian). Could have stayed out another 3 weeks (maybe months!) and still not done everything. =o) We ate most breakfasts in the hotels, most lunches in the car (or more accurately in the parks along the way), and most dinners out. (Except at mom's, we ate mostly at home then.) DH lost another 8 pounds. Don't ask me how. He is now officially in his old "old" clothes, and we're going to have to go shopping soon. There's just too much fabric for him in his new old clothes now. He's down to one pill, and only had one incident with high blood sugar. (High for us, not high for diabetic.) And that's with the eating on the road, at odd times, and definitely some odd foods. We tried to keep to a schedule, but honestly, we weren't always successful. Once we get back on track (schedule wise) we'll work on dropping that last pill. He had a bout with kidney stones before we left, had surgery and then we were off. No problems on the trip, and he's scheduled for surgery next week to go after the last one. Still don't know why they happened, but hoping to find out so we can take preventative measures. His blood pressure has dropped well into the "normal" category now, and appears to be staying there. (*yay!*) I did notice on our trip round the country that most restaurants seem to think that you need to eat two servings of everything for your meal. Two meat (at least!), two starch, and very little veg.... but they generally serve a salad too, that that may count as the second serving. It's weird. I've never belonged to the "clean your plate" group, but cleaning your plate in some of these places could be dangerous to your health!!! Anyway, the trip was a blast. The animals are all glad to have us back home. And now, I have to go through about 2500 photographs from the trip and take out all the photos of shoes, or knees, or raindrops on the windshield, or the lens cap!!! *LOL* Did I mention that this was a full cash trip? That the tires were "no biggie" since we had a fund for those? (unexpected-expected expense) That this program is why those first two things happened? Not to mention all the many, many stops made and the length of the trip. If you are somewhere along the lines of slogging through BS2.... keep going, it really does get better!! I remember making a similar trip not to very long ago, where it was a matter of how fast can we get there and back to minimize costs of hotels and food on the road.... this one was much better! =0)
  23. Thanks guys! It sounds a little like bragging, but I am so excited about those results! It lets us know that what we're doing is working. =0) Germaine, We are working towards no meds, hopefully soon not even the diabetic ones (fingers crossed), and we're seriously holding off on starting any others until we get this straightened out. On the up side, the doctor is more in agreement with us now, than she was when we started. =0) And since his numbers are so close to "normal" she's not stressing adding meds like she had been in the beginning. Kelvan80, thank you, and I'm sorry about your dad. I think that if you don't get the right doctor (or maybe if you aren't as stubborn as I am *L*) it can be very hard to get a handle on everything you have to handle. And the doctor gives them a built in excuse "It's HARD to change the way you do things." They tend to stress the things you CAN'T do.... and make it much harder than it has to be. (or at least SOUND that way) Maybe these (LLONE) steps prepared us for those (diabetic) steps... Saying no to yourself. =0) Savoring the wins and building on them. (no matter how big or small.) =0) Making your life YOUR way, and not listening to those who would be negative. Knowing it can be done and the hard work is so worth it. *L* Keep encouranging him and rejoice in every little change. It's a step in the right direction. And once you figure out that it's not so bad, you're willing to take another step, and another, and another!! At least that's the way it worked for us. Little steps at first (well minus the big, stopping soda step for DH... that was a big one... but once we replaced it with something else not so hard.) then the middle steps, and finally the big ones!! So there's still hope! =0)
  24. So yesterday was our first three month check up. The one where they take his blood and check his numbers again. His A1C, when we started this journey was 11.6 (which is bad, bad, bad).... It's now 5.8! (normal being between 4.5 and 5.7) He has lost 43 pounds. (51 left) His total cholesterol dropped 25%. His "good" cholesterol rose 33%. His bad cholesterol dropped 33%. Blood pressure dropped to "normal" numbers. (from near high) Doc said that these numbers would indicate that he was "pre" diabetic. (without the previous diagnosis) She is thrilled! Since we spent a month working on getting his numbers down, I suspect that his next blood test will show a further decrease in his A1C. (since it takes 3 months for your body to completely replace that particular indicator) She agreed to begin cutting his meds, and seeing what happens to the numbers. She still would like to see him on cholesterol meds, however could not tell me how long it takes for that indicator to get out of your system, so is willing to wait until the next three month tests for that. (my own research says.... "It depends".) And his numbers for that are nearing "normal" too, so is not stressing it as much as she did before. She also said that those numbers are only so close because of the diabetes... again, without the diabetes his numbers would be "normal" and she would not recommend the meds. So all in all, a very good check up. It would be good to continue lowering the cholesterol numbers. But now they only need to be lowered a little bit. So lifestyle changes have truly made a huge difference. And truly, although he is doing more and doing it faster (because he's lighter and just generally feels better) these changes are a result of food choices and portion control. (not exercise so much) Although we have spent a lot of time in the grocery store figuring out which of several brands would be better for his blood sugars. But now it's almost automatic and we have a pretty good idea of which things we want to buy and which ones we don't! And that's really it. So it CAN be done. Hard to believe that it only took 3 months to get to where we are. But I am really happy to be here.
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