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momto6 last won the day on June 30

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  1. momto6

    Update on our life

    Awesome on nursing school! Congrats! And Good Job! Congrats on finding a job you love that can support you and family! I'm sorry about your marriage. Good job on your plan. Make sure that you talk to your lawyer about the sale of the house. You may be able to work out an "equitable" split that takes into account any funds you have put into it since the separation, or something that is more fair to the individual that has full custody of 6 kiddos. Also ask him about the tax repercussions. I know there may be some, and that you can mitigate them, but I'm not sure what or how. Please also remember to take care of you. Arrange a few hours when you aren't working, or studying, or taking care of kids, or working on something else.... where you can just BE. Where you can go to the park, or library, or just sit in your car and just be you. If you take care of you, it's easier to take care of everyone and everything else. Longest I was ever a "single parent" to 6 was about 4 months when DH deployed.... and it's not the same.... only advice I have is to make a pattern, a plan, a schedule of sorts. Everything worked better when we did that. And figure out what "good enough" looks like. It doesn't have to be perfect, just good enough. And to carve out time for you. If you snap at the little stuff, it's time for you to have a "time out".... even if you can only do it in the house when everyone has gone to bed! *L*. A good cup of cocoa, wine, or ice cream, a book that has nothing to do with anything (I call it brain candy), and a minute or 60 to yourself can work wonders. My children still remember the first time I put myself in time out! *LOL*. Bad day.... really bad day.... and I just decided that if the kids could have time out, then so could mom. Went into my room for 5 or 10 minutes. Knock on the door.... "MoooooooM!!!" What? ..... idk what tiny innane thing they wanted.... Is anyone bleeding? .....noooooo..... Is the house on fire? ....Nooooooo.... Does anyone require a doctor? .....noooooo..... Then mommy is in time out. I'll be allowed out in a few minutes. ......................... ...................... .............. Ok.......... (in awed whispers that could be heard a mile away). Mommy's in time out! What did she do? I don't know! But she's in time out! And then those precious little giggles that make mom's hearts melt. I think they stopped fighting or whatever they were doing, for a minute anyway..... and so was born Mommy's time out. And voluntary time out for that matter. The idea they you could put yourself in time out when you knew you needed it, or just wanted to be alone for a minute in what is a very chaotic house. It was a very good thing. =0) Good luck! And Congratulations. Hope you have a great day, and a time out as needed!
  2. momto6


    Yay! Congratulations!!!! WooHoo!!! ****Fireworks*** ***Confetti*** ***Cheers*** *Champange popping!!* Well, IMHO there should be all those things anyway! Congratulations!
  3. With determination and God's love you can do anything!  Hang in there!

    1. pcmedic


      Thank you. I posted an update on the forum

  4. My understanding is that collection agencies will settle for much less (since they usually buy the debt for pennies on the dollar), BUT get the agreement in writing before you send them a dime, and they usually want the entire amount at once. Agency A calls, and you come to an agreement on amount of settlement. They send you a letter (or it may be email now?!?) naming the settlement amount and that it settles the debt in full. You send them that amount. They seem less willing to settle for payments. At least from what I can recall. I like your "tiny house". How are you enjying it? Other than size it looks very home like! Are you parked on the land you purchased?
  5. Hi KBOL, I thought that 5.6 WAS normal.... I think 5.7 is actually "normal" so you are actually doing great! Most doctors will say that once you have been diagnosed, you will always be diabetic, you will just be "well controlled". So maybe that is what the doctor meant? We like the "Diabetic Living" recipes for diabetic friendly meals. Especially "Meals by the Plate". When we were first starting out, that was the book we used the most. And remember herbs and spices are FREE!!! *LOL* I always thoought of diabetic food as bland, but now that I can have my spices, it's not that different at all. Congratulations on getting your numbers down!! That's always exciting. =0) Good luck and keep up the good work!
  6. Dh's LAST diabetes appt was today. 18 months ago or so his A1C (blood sugar) was somewhere around 11.8 or something like that... high enough that he ended up in the ER, and freaked himself out. My last update was 6 months ago, where we learned about "partial remission", and with this appointment his A1c was 5.4 (NORMAL) and since it's been that way for a year without meds or surgery... the doc called it "FULL remission" and says she doesn't need to see us anymore!!! He still has to keep an eye on the A1c every 6 months or so, but all the reprecussions have reset back to what they were before. So now, we're kinda done with this season of life. *whew!* Best part for me, I mean other than having DH healthy, is that the doc has now seen it work, she now knows that it's possible and has helped one other person (her second) to go off the meds and control their blood sugar on their own. Which I think is just awesome! Our journey helped one other person..... And that makes me happy. =0) It's not all rainbows and posies.... he is still more susceptiple to it, it could come back, no promises. I don't think they do a whole lot of studies about this, and I don't know how many people end up right back where they started once they've been "in remission" for an extended period of time, but all that we'll just have to take one day at a time. And if it ever does come back, we'll deal with it. But for now..... NO MORE TYPE 2 DIABETES STUFF!!!!! =0) and I'm a happy girl!!
  7. momto6

    Divorce & Downsize

    I'm sorry that you are going through this. It's going to be up and down for a little while. I have to second the post about looking into prices for land in your desired area. As well as putting in a concrete pad, electricity, sewage, and water. Sometimes they aren't as cheap as we think they should be. Also look at the legalities of living in a motor home (5th wheel, travel trailer) in your area. Some areas have restricitions. Figure out if you CAN do what you want to do, in a way that works for you. Do you own a tow vehicle? What is the towing limit? Is it built for towing? (Many aren't.) When you know the limit you can begin to look at RVs that fit within that limit. If you look at RVs first, you may fall in love with one that requres a new towing vehicle. I think you could begin to search for a RV that suits your needs. Go to a couple of lots and see what the RVs have that you want, what would be nice, and what you can live without. Some are nearly house like now. Get on a couple of forums about those who full-time, and see what the concerns are. Depending on climate, you may be looking at specific requirements involving insullation and construction for full timing. Which will change the price you would have to spend. I would look into renting a RV for the weekend or a week and see how living in one actually is. I would recommend a month or more, but that gets REALLY pricy. (Unless you know someone who would be willing to lend you one for that time frame.) Sometimes it looks like a good idea, it sounds like a good idea, but ends up not being a good idea for you. Now is the time to figure that out, before you are stuck living in something you really don't want to. So I'm not sure that you want to speak to realtors just yet, but there is a lot you can do to see if you actually will want to speak to one later. Good luck!
  8. Sorry you are going through all this. (The D in DH doesn't always mean "dear"! *L*) Can you live with out him? Financially? Emotionally? Realistically? A house that needs a new roof will sell for less, but the new owners can usually get a loan to cover those costs. Can you clear the loan with what the relator thinks you can get for the house? AFTER fees? Can your family help with trucks or trailers to help get rid of the clutter? Trips to the dump or renting a storage facility in his name and putting it there? Hoaders tend to want to keep their "stuff". Get online and look up the items you have to sell. Ebay maybe. Look at things that are close to what you have and then you will find a price (or sorts). Is the desire to make the most money? Or get rid of the stuff and make a little money if possible? Because that will help you decide how to price them. I think it would be difficult to paint if there is clutter in the way, so maybe start this weekend to get rid of the stuff, selling and tossing. Then worry about paint and repairs when you can see the walls and the floor. If the realtor is just "getting more money", then so are you. They only get a percentage of what you sell the house for. Have a plan, have somewhere to go, a way to get there, and a plan to get all your stuff BEFORE you tell DH that you are moving without him. If possible, have that savings account ready to go, change your pay to direct deposit into it. Review all the bills in your name and change that.... either the address, or get them out of your name. You might try printing out that post to give him when you decide to tel him. It's very clear, and explains some of the whys.... or as trite as it may sound, a "dear John" letter, allows you time to plan what to say and how, and allows you to get everything out. Just remember, anything in writing can be used in court. =0) "Say it, Forget it... Write it, Regret it." Good luck. I think you will feel better once you get a plan.
  9. For roasted veg, I bought a "spritzer".... It sprays like a can of Pam, but is whatever oil I choose to put in it (and without the chemicals), and enables me to put a very light coating on the veg. When roasting potatoes, I generally add other veg in with them. It "stretches" them a bit and makes them look like more (without adding more carbs). Saltine crackers are 6-7 per serving... I replaced them with "good thins", which give the flavor and texture of crackers without all the carbs (they are made from veg, not flour), AND is 15-16 per serving.... there are a LOT of varieties of "good thins", some are better than others!! Smash up the ones you don't like and use as "cracker crumbs" in baking/cooking. =0) With bread, watch the serving size on the packages.... sometimes it is 1 slice, sometimes 2. Sneaky people! Good luck! It's a real pain in the pahtooty in the beginning, but once you get past the learning curve, it becomes normal. =0) And it's SO worth it!
  10. Breakfast (pick one) "egg mcmuffin" homemade.... english muffin toasted, topped with 1 egg scrambled, and a slice of cheese **Made on weekend and frozen for weekday ease. Heated in microwave. Sometimes adds sausage or ham (though infrequently because of the salt in the ham). Grits with butter (1/3 c dry and 4/3 c water, nuked) 1T butter Sometimes 2 breakfast bars (prefers nurtigrain) if he's in a hurry Waffles (Nutrigrain (I think) Eggo) infrequently and with maple syrup (low sugar and by the serving size) Weekends - 2 eggs usually scrambled, toast, sometimes sausages Snack (10am or so and 3pm or so and evenings about 3 hours after dinner) only ONE of these per snack. 15 pringles chips (low salt) Nut exactly (snack food) Fruit cups packed in water (not syrup or juice) yogurt (chiobani greek) pudding cup (sugar free) applesauce cups (low sugar - check carbs on these) crackers and cheese (1 pre-packaged) crackers and cheese - Good thins and cheddar or laughing cow (low fat) (I believe 15ish crackers with this one) apple banana raw veggies with "low fat" dip... didn't do that on purpose, but bought it on accident once and it actually tasted better, so that's what we buy now. =0) It's hard for me to say what he eats when.... these are the things that I keep on hand, and he chooses each day based on what he feels like having that day. =0) Lunch (with salad most days or raw veg/fruit) plus one of the following Usually leftovers from dinner PB (best Piggly Wiggly store brand) & Jelly (sugar free jelly, check carbs and serving sizes on bread, "nature's own" seems to be best) Check serving sizes, actually is an adequate amount, though it won't seem so in the beginning. Egg salad sandwiches tuna fish sandwiches Dinner Usually out of a diabetic living cookbook... but sometimes when a craving hits, stuff that just isn't that good for him, but smaller serving sizes. "Always start with salad and if dinner doesn't fill you, have a bit more salad at the end." (after he makes carbs for meal (we shoot for 45ish) he'll have a bit more salad if he's still hungry.) Favorites.... meatballs with balsamic cherry sauce, with roasted root veg Mini meat loaves (cooked in cupcake pan easy to see serving sizes!!) - with large salad - I may add either low carb veg (asparagus or green beans), or mashed potatoes if the day is low in carbs Chicken Rolls (Pollo Relleno) with greens and couscous, and steamed carrot sticks Chicken BLT wrap with fresh veg and dip Pork Medallions with Lemon-pecan spinach and rice (I tried brown rice, but he really doesn't like it.) Salmon, asparagus, roasted potatoes and leeks Basil-Lemon Shrimp Linguine with Baby greens with oranges (salad) Szechwan Chicken and Veg stir fry If we have something that is high carb (mashed potatoes) I try to pair it with something that is lower carb for the rest of the meal.... Most veg is low carb.... salads change flavor by what you put in them (fruit surprised him, but he likes it), fish or chicken generally can be low carb... and when I make things that have higher carbs (mac and cheese or spaghetti) and make sure that there's a large salad before, and the serving sizes are known. We eat a variety of foods and lots of plants (like 3/4th the plate usually). But sometimes (like last night was DD's birthday) we have club sandwiches, veg tray, and piece of b-day cake. (We bought pizza for the kiddos, having 15-17 in the house this evening.) He had a chicken/ vegetable (peppers, onions, carrots, and broccoli)/ pasta dish (leftover) for lunch. (**More chicken and veg than pasta.**) Snacks were applesauce, and pringles, and this evening more veggie tray. Breakfast was 2 breakfast bars, because he was running late. Drinks... He has found that he prefers the no sugar squirt bottles to flavor water, better than he likes plain water, so he drinks 3-4 20 oz bottles mixed with those things. And a cup of coffee with Stevia. (yesterday) He also drinks Coke Zero (likes it better than other diet sodas) although he did have a diet mello yellow (he thinks) that he liked. And he likes the diet lemon-aid from Chick-filet. (but he didn't have those yesterday.) Did that answer your question? I can keep track for a few days of what he eats.
  11. Thank you both. Plinda, I think that some of the medical professionals don't take it seriously enough though too. They don't stress the possibility of control, or the importance of it. (at least not as much as they could) They don't talk about the possibility of NOT needing the meds or explain why that may be important, especially if you have go back onto them later. In fact they kind of fight going off them.... not "fight" really, but discourage. I think everyone could at least TRY to get to the point where they didn't need the meds. But it's hard for the patient when the doc doesn't necessarily know what to do to get off them, and hasn't run into anyone who has.... like ours hadn't. I think that ours was trying to be encouraging, and didn't stress the consequences. (Those first few weeks are kind of blurry to be honest.) I know ours was THRILLED when we got to "normal for diabetic" numbers and really rather flabbergasted when we told her that we wanted "normal for NON diabetic" numbers. She had to look them up to tell us what they were. All that to say that while I think that many can have more control than they do, I think that the medical professionals are falling down on the job a bit too, and the medical insurance companies won't pay for the proper amount of supplies to enable someone to GET better control. So while yes, YOU are ultimately responsible, it's difficult when the "professionals" are not saying that it's a big huge deal. I know way to many people who just take the pills and make no other changes because their DOCTOR said that the pill would "fix" the problem. Debtbegone....I had to laugh, DH wanted to try cold cereal again, and did just two days ago. It blasted his blood sugars into "normal for daibetic" numbers which is as high as he's seen them in quite some time (including after birthday cake!!!), so no cold cereal here. Though I think he would pay a LOT of money to have one that was ok. =0) Also that you mentioned "living like no one else", since in the beginning we took "baby steps" to get to where we are now. Other than the massive junk food dump in the very beginning, everything else has been baby steps, looking for "better" not necessarily "best".... for example kale may be "best" but spinach tastes better and is nearly as good... much better actually for DH because he won't eat the kale, but will spinach! *L*
  12. Thank ya'll. =0) kelvan - Just know that sometimes your will is simply not part of the equation with this disease. There's a lot that can put it off, but sometimes meds are necessary, and skinny "healthy" people get it too. So IF it does happen, it's not your fault and you can deal with it. =0) I still don't think I know enough about anything to write a book, but thanks! *L* fpmomma - Thank YOU! That was my hope and intention with sharing. I too have been surprised with the number of folks who have this disease that share once they know we too have it.... I say we, but it's really just DH, though we both deal with the impact. =0) I just ask that if you have those family members over for dinner that you make something yummy that's good for them too! =0) It's really a bummer to go and not be able to eat anything (or not much). And it will make them feel all warm and fuzzy inside that you actually went through the trouble for them!
  13. After 1 year his A1C is holding steady at 5.3 (off meds) and has lost 75 pounds (hovering between 75 and 80). Wants to lose 10-15 more ideally, but is currently stalled where he is. A few newer definitions.... these apparently haven't been around long and are based on the new (to medical professionals) idea that diabetes actually CAN go into remission (what some folks are calling "cured")... "partial remission" = fasting glucose between 5.6 and 6.9 for at least a year (no meds) "complete remission" - fasting glucose below 5.6 for at least a year (no meds) "prolonged remission" - longer than 5 years (no meds) (for those who ARE medical professionals and want more detail.... http://care.diabetesjournals.org/content/32/11/2133 or search "diabetes remission") For those who have Type 2, this is quite a change. The medical field was saying the return to "normal" readings was simply "diabetes that was very well controlled", and then someone studied something like 120,000 people with type 2 diabetes (without surgery to control weight and no meds), and came up with this study and now the medical field is slowly coming around. =0) Personally I think that calling it in "remission" sounds much better! It gives us hope anyway. His cholesterol numbers have gone up or down whichever was better.... some go up it's good, some go down it's good... I think they do that to confuse us! *L* But his numbers are going the right direction! Ever so slowly, but moving! The high blood pressure is just totally gone. So at a year we are looking at the "partial remission" in a few months, and possibly "complete remission" with the next test in August. And still on no meds! =0) When we started, I'll admit it was scary. I had visions of testing 10 times a day forever, food that doesn't taste good, needles full of insulin, and medication that lasts forever.... then I started reading about complications!! YIKES!! Now, it's just life. With the control we have now those complications are very far off, if ever. Insulin never became an issue, and the meds are all gone. They didn't last forever, only as long as we needed them. =0) Our doc has changed her tune (at least with us) and is learning about how it IS possible to "reverse diabetes" (type 2 anyway). Which I consider a win. =0) I now have a solid foundation of things that are good to eat (and good for diabetes), so no longer have to spend hours pouring over recipes and looking up new ones, and no longer spend hours in the grocery store! *L* I have found that I shop cookbooks differently now. They have to have the nutritional information for the recipes or have so few ingredients that I can approximate. =0) **For those that are looking for GOOD tasting "diabetic" cookbooks, look at "Diabetic Living" books, and remember herbs and spices do NOT have an impact on blood sugar.... at least not in the amounts that makes food taste good!!!** Soooooo.... HOW did we do this? If you want to read it it started last Feb in this blog... but I'll put the basics here. (for those familiar, the rest is just a recap) DH was 311 pounds, eating junk food at work daily, drank 3 sodas (or more) a day as well as coffee loaded with sugar. Breakfast was a breakfast biscuit that had bacon, fried potatoes, an egg and a biscuit, all covered in grease, washed down with a large container of OJ. Lunch was mostly out and mostly fried. The day he went to the ER because his vision was blurry and discovered that his blood glucose was 450 (not 80-100 like it should be) that all changed, the panic set in (to become our friend for the few weeks). No more soda, no more coffee, no more juice, no more junk food, he ate breakfast at home, and took leftovers or sandwiches for lunch. *** We now have added some of those back in.... coffee is back with stevia instead of sugar, soda is coke zero and only about one per week maybe... juice is an occasional treat, we have some junk food but have evaluated junk foods for the "least bad" =0), he eats lunches out sometimes, but tends towards the lighter side and not fried now, and we do eat out and not always what's best for us! =0) We read EVERYTHING. Online, books, pamphlets, heck if someone stuck something to a bulletin board I would have read it. Within the first two weeks, we got on two different meds, and changed one because I didn't like what I was reading about it, then dropped the "big" one entirely when his blood sugar started going too low. We stayed on the other med at half the "usual" dosage.... then dropped it after a few months when we had a better handle on the numbers. For that first month we tested 10 times a day... first thing in the morning, 1 and 2 hours after meals (that's 6 more times), before snacks (2 more times) and sometimes at the third hour if the numbers didn't go down, finally before bed.... DH said he felt like a pin cushion! But that was the only way we figured we could get control of those numbers and see what foods raised his blood sugar. The "once a day" plan that the doc recommended did not give us the information we needed, so 10 times a day until the numbers were where we liked them. We ended up cleaning out doc's "free samples" and buying one more set of strips (outside of insurance) until we figured we had a handle on it pretty well. He now tests first thing in the morning.... most days (it really should be every day), tests new foods, and if he just doesn't feel right. We spent 45 minutes looking at fruit cocktail that first day after the appt. I never knew how many different kinds of canned fruit were out there. And carbs went from 11 (or 15) per serving to over 50!! If you multiply this by how many items there are in the grocery store, you know we were at this for awhile!!! It DOES get better. Eventually we figured out what was best (and that includes taste... "fat free ice cream is awful, and only has about 2 carbs less than the "real" type!! Except "skinny cow" he likes those) and now shopping doesn't take any longer than it did before. Mostly we stay away from pre-packaged anything, and shop the edges of the store.... very little from the middle..... which, come to think of it, is what we did before!! *L* I asked the doc questions at EVERY appt. If I had a question I wrote it down in a notebook and then asked her at the next appt. She had to look some things up (Like I wanted to know what "normal for normal" blood sugar numbers.) but she was happy to answer the questions. *And there were a LOT!!* I think.... if I had to say, that the MOST vital thing to getting the blood sugar under control would have to be that testing. You can change how you eat, but if you do not know how that food affects you and your blood sugars, then it doesn't really matter. You can exercise, but again, if you don't know how that affects you, you could be bouncing from highs to lows and creating havoc with your body. And this was probably the hardest part. Hardest for DH because he had to stick himself every day 10 times a day for nearly a month, and it is hard to argue for certain foods when he could SEE the numbers go up. Hardest for me, because a grumpy DH is not easy to live with. Talking him into it was not easy (though he's glad he did it now). And although the doc agreed that it was the only way to get control, she couldn't do anything to get us enough strips to test like that.... she did give us a LOT of "samples" to help, but we did end up having to buy another 50 (or 100) pack off Amazon (best price... be aware of dates, and how soon they expire). We used them before our "prescribed" strips because they expired first. (*We did it this way because we wanted the same strips on the same tester to compare, but for those who are more strapped for cash, you can find a generic tester and strips for FAR less than the prescribed ones we had.) Why??? Because his blood sugar was under control EXCEPT his after breakfast number. That number was WAY out of whack. Had we tested only in the morning when he first got up (docs recommendation), we would have never known that cold cereal was throwing off his numbers for the entire day. The first thing in the morning number was fine and the rest of the day numbers were fine, but the cold cereal threw him all out of whack. Once we figured it out and made substitutions, he felt better all day long. I don't know how having such a high number first thing in the morning every morning would have effected his A1C number, but I'm certain it would have. His numbers came down quickly that first month, with changes to diet. And since April (diagnosed Feb) we have mostly been in a maintain kind of mind set. We did NOT stop at "normal for diabetic" numbers but pushed for "normal for NOT diabetic numbers" and once we reached those, just kept doing what we were doing. I do not say that he's "cured". If he went back to eating the way he was before, I have the feeling that the diabetes would be right back front and center in our lives. But for now, it's not. (It's still there, but not all-consuming like it was.) And since he's not taking those meds, if it ever does come back and can't be controlled by diet, then we can start on the lighter meds with not as many side effects. =0) It CAN be done... controlling type 2 diabetes with diet.... but it was darned hard that first month. It won't be forever, but getting it done is important. I could tell you what we ate and what we are eating now, but really, it will be different for everyone, the foods affect everyone differently, and you have to see what works for you and more importantly what doesn't. And ALWAYS work with your doctor, even if they don't think it can be done. YOU may just be the one to change their mind! *L* Thanks for reading my novelas, and for all your support during this very long year.
  14. I didn't mean to terminate her rights... that is a serious charge and usually for criminal or neglect reasons. Very difficult to do and mostly undesirable. Full physcial custody just means that they live with you and DH full time and visit their mom. Rather than moving back and forth in some kind of way (other than weekend or longer visits). No, debt will not cause her to lose CUSTODY.... but failing to pay for needed medical care, or clothing that fits, or after care (depending on age)... may. It's not that she has debt, it's that she's not taking care of the children's needs. Glad you are feeling better! Good luck.
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