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Everything posted by germaine

  1. germaine

    Divorce & Downsize

    Agreed. At the very least, make sure legal documents show what is currently in each account and what has been going in/leaving the accounts for a while. That way if a large amount suddenly disappears, there's record of it. But I'd make sure I had my own accounts going forward that *my* money was going into.
  2. Her family contacts you? Oh my.
  3. Wow. Just wow. Then maybe it would be worth it to make the offer? Does she actually enjoy being with them? How do the kids feel about her?
  4. That's awful. I'm sorry. And I'm so sorry for your kids who have to have a mom like that...but I'm so glad they have a mom like you. This is not likely to fly at all...but what if you offered adoption and she kept getting the $800/month? Or a lump sum? That's an awful way to put it, like you're buying her children.
  5. Good work! I think if you present it as "figure out what works for you, make good/healthy/healthful decisions, don't give up, etc" then that would be much more beneficial for everybody instead of coming off as "don't listen to the doctor." As someone who hopes to be entering the medical field soon, I hope I (and my colleagues) will always make an effort to see the patient as the individual he/she is and not just use an attitude of "well, this is what we've always done, so this is what you will always do." It's possible her other patients aren't as motivated as you too.
  6. Great work! Do research on cholesterol meds...they have a lot of side effects, some serious, and some think the side effects outweigh any benefit. If there's no serious history of family heart problems (early heart attacks, etc,), personally I'd lean towards not taking cholesterol meds. But please do your own research and do what's best for you.
  7. Would he be willing to try a protein shake before the cereal? There are good, high quality protein powders out there...he could have one when he wakes up, take a shower, and then have the cereal. A quick google search gives several links for target blood sugar levels in adults. They usually want blood pressure to be below 125 (ideally below 120) for systolic. Below 80 for diastolic. If she really doesn't know these numbers, and doesn't even know where to find them, I'd seriously consider a new doctor. Or maybe I'm misunderstanding the situation.
  8. Did the doctor talk about meeting with a nutritionist or dietitian? Your hospital should also have a support group for diabetics (unless you live in a really small town).
  9. And marriage counseling. You should be able to have reasonable discussions regarding issues, and a good counselor/therapist would be able to guide the two of you.
  10. germaine

    Shearing the Budget

    I'd check with Verizon to see if you may be eligible for a better plan. You may be able to get more data/another line for less than what you pay now.
  11. A lot of symptoms are fairly general (and it's not uncommon to have patients unable to accurately describe symptoms, not that that's an issue here), so until something really specific pops up, it can be difficult to diagnose. I assume the doctors did a urinalysis? I hope they figure it out soon and you feel better.
  12. germaine

    Furnace died

    Do you know anybody (reliable, etc, of course) who does this work on the side? It would save you a fair amount of money. And get a few different bids at least if you haven't already.
  13. Do any of your friends have an open door policy for at least Thanksgiving? My friends do that - they live far enough away from family, and she's an awesome cook, so they let any of their friends (or sometimes friends of friends) come over if they want.
  14. germaine

    Next steps

    Further down the line, would a roommate be a possibility? And yes, it's very important to know where the money in your joint account is going. In fact, I'd probably look over past statements as well for any unusual activity. You should also be able to set it up so that you get an alert (email and/or text) every time there is a transaction on the account. That way you know right away if he purchased something.
  15. germaine

    Next steps

    Is the house "his" or "yours"? (Meaning...are you on the title and/or mortgage?) If it's only in his name, then you could find an apartment if you choose to move out. Would you be able to move to a lower cost of living area? If it's only in your name, could you sell it fairly easily? Regardless, it sounds like you have a good plan, which is wonderful. I'm glad you're seeking counseling. Good luck!
  16. Whatever help they need, whether financial or psychological, is not help you can provide. You've enabled them for a long time. If you want to give them the car, so be it, as long as you are doing it because *you WANT* to, not because you think you should. I imagine pretty much all of what they tell you is manipulation, and for the time being I would assume everything they say is manipulation. They're like addicts. Bailing them out won't help them, it's just enabling them. You can't control how they react, and you can't control how extended family will react. But you can control what you do
  17. I agree, you need to leave. Take the car, take your son, take what's yours, and get out. Make sure you change your address with the post office, bank, etc. By exposing your son to this toxic environment, you're showing him that this is an okay way to live. Your future, and his future, is in your hands.
  18. Are you currently living with them? Any chance you an untangle yourself from them (physically, and then emotionally)? Have you gone to therapy? They are not your responsibility. It would be one thing if it was a supportive, "everybody helps out" kind of family, but that isn't the case here. Your responsibility lies with you and your son.
  19. I believe that's the case in some states.
  20. Can't she just black out the names of the withdrawals then?
  21. Yeah...do you have to show every transaction, or would pay stubs and a list of bills (rent, utilities, credit cards, etc) be sufficient?
  22. germaine

    My stressful day

    This is kind of obvious, but have if you have a garbage disposal, have you tried running that for a minute or two with the water running? That's helped me in the past with the diswasher/sink drainage issue.
  23. germaine

    My stressful day

    I'm so glad surgery went well! I'm guessing a stone blocked the duct, which can cause severe pain (and vomiting/nausea, which was what happened to me) and if left untreated, it can cause necrosis and gangrene. Hope he has a fast recovery!
  24. germaine

    My stressful day

    Has he ever used opiate-based pain meds? They don't work at all for me (Vicodin and Percocet are the only two I've had). As in, they don't touch the pain. So if they're not working, see if there might be another med he could try (even ibuprofen, but that might thin his blood, so definitely call first), otherwise he could just skip the meds except for bedtime and hope he gets a morphine drip...that took the edge off. One of the stones had gotten stuck in the duct, hence the excruciating pain and 18 hour vomiting session (every time I moved, I violently threw up, so it was a while before I c
  25. germaine

    My stressful day

    He will feel so much better when the gallbladder comes out. I woke up from anesthesia feeling better.
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