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BigDog last won the day on June 24 2015

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  1. We too have painted a kitchen full of cabinets and I will never ever do it again. Way to labor intensive for me, plus so many things can go wrong with the paint, etc... Our last kitchen update we had our cabinets refaced, cheaper than new cabinets, but more than painting. Was worth it in my opinion. Your turned out wonderful and I know it is a huge sense of accomplishment. Enjoy your new kitchen over the holidays!!
  2. BigDog

    Dizzy yet?

    I also have trouble focusing on multiple things in my life at once. In the Spring I started exercising and dieting and by the summer lost total control of our finances. Now that I have that back in check and on its way down again I have lost total control of my eating. It is such a vicious cycle that I cannot get out of....something always suffers so I feel your pain!!
  3. BigDog


    Glad to hear that you are moving in a positive way. Small accomplishments will raise your confidence and that will affect all aspects of your life. I agree that a therapist can help you sort though your own issues, the problem is finding one you click with. I was very lucky in that regard as mine has helped me learn to trust my own intuition and know when I need to remove myself from a situation. Lack of self-confidence and self-esteem has been an issue with me forever and we are working through it!! Good luck to you! You can do this...we are here for you!
  4. BigDog

    The story

    I am almost 50 myself and I have been through some horrible things in regards to my marriage in the last few years..well the last 15 years or so (we have been married for 30). I have to say the older I get the less tolerant of "stupid" I have become. At this point in my life, financial things are more important and thank goodness DH and I are now on the same page. It took us a long time and lots of therapy to get here. I have experienced infidelity at the hand of my husband and that is deal breaker for many, but I know we all have our reasons for remaining in broken relationships. Mine has gotten way better as my DH faced his truth and got the help he needed. I am not sure your DH is at that place. If they cannot see there is a problem, nothing is going to change it. You need to search your gut and see what it tells you. You know deep down inside if you should remain with your husband or not. You need to think more about your future and if you think things are going to change for the better. Staying the way they are now is just a disaster waiting to happen. I can tell you from following DR for many years, when one spouse is not on board it is next to impossible to follow the steps. It can be done, but it will be a constant struggle. Saying a prayer as I know it is hard.
  5. Just curious...was the car that had the brakes issue...did you say they had been worked on the day before? Was that a faulty repair? Sounds to me like the mechanic would be liable for any damage if it was due to the repair the day before. My DH used to work at a car dealership and a co-worker did not put all of the lug nuts on wheel that had been removed to access something. Car drove off and the wheel fell off down the road...dealership had to pay for all of the needed body work and other issues.
  6. I agree with Plinda. You have got to set some boundaries. I would be doing everything I could to get myself and my child out of that environment. If they did not want me around I surely would not be there. I think that some relationships should be at a distance for our own sanity. They are adults and you do not have to provide their upkeep. They need to figure that out on their own; however, they are used to taking advantage of you and feel that is the norm. The issue is that you let them get away with it. If you remove yourself from their day to day life they will find their own way. Do not feel sorry for them or let them belittle you into giving them what they want. Stand up for yourself and your child - you are all he has!
  7. I work in a public middle school and we have a lot of kids that are homeschooled through the 7th grade and then enroll with us in the 8th. That way they can get to know the kids and then move on to high school. Many kids want the high school experience and to prepare for college, but need to ease into it a bit and start public school in the 8th grade. They have all done well with us. I think homeschooling can have its place and some kid excel with it.
  8. I second or third what the others said. You need a therapist not a psychiatrist. They will talk to you briefly, but I do not think you will get the interaction you are seeking with a psychiatrist unless you just want medication. I would suggest that you call your insurance company and have them provide you with participating alternatives in your area for therapy. I have been seeing an LPC (Licensed Prof Counselor) for about a year and she has helped me greatly with many aspects of my life. She cannot prescribe medication, but if I need it my regular doctor will work with her and prescribe what I need. Sending some pixie dust your way (throwback to my Disney days!!). I have several close family members that suffer from depression and other mental illness and it is very hard to get good, affordable treatment.
  9. So glad you are feeling better. I'm in NC and we have had oppressive heat. Last week it hit 100 a couple days. Would not be so bad if we did not have all of the humidity to go with it. It would be nice if it rained, might cool it off a bit. But then the humidity would come right back....ugh!
  10. So sorry that you are dealing with all of this. I have learned that each person has "stuff" they deal with, no one's life is perfect. You have nothing to be ashamed of. We can only do our best each day. Take comfort that you are moving forward and making your way and as you said you really do have a lot to be thankful (happy) about. I have lived through my DH's infidelity more than once and that should have ended our marriage. I took an unpopular route by staying with him and working on our issues. You endured abuse just as I did, but maybe in a different form. We each chose different paths, but neither of them are wrong. I too felt embarrassment, shame, and humiliation; however, I learned through therapy that I did nothing wrong. I was placing the blame for his decisions on me. It was not my issue to own. He had to man up and take that (he did). You too are at this place. You know the truth about your marriage and why you had to leave - place the blame where it really goes. Who cares if others know that truth; if they truly cared about you they would have been there for you or sought out answers from both sides. I learned a lot about some of my friends last summer...many of them I no longer speak to by choice. I wish you the best and hope you will seek mental health treatment of some form. You deserve much better and sometimes it takes medications to help us deal with traumatic situations. Your dog is a great form of therapy as well. Unconditional love is what we all seek!
  11. So sorry you are having such a hard time. Sometimes it take several steps backwards to get where you want to go. It seems you are headed in a more positive direction, but a very expensive one. I agree with Mary, your budget and the divorce decree do not seem to be matching up.
  12. BigDog

    7 more days

    So funny! I work in a middle school and we beg parents to get involved. Our PTA is non-existent except for a fall fundraiser. I hate those catalog sales! Congrats on being President and good luck
  13. My BF has an Expedition. They have 3 teens and even with all 5 of them and the 2 of us, we have plenty of room. They do not have the XL model, but still take it on trips and are able to pack without using the roof rack. It is a good way for them to keep their kids separated on long rides. it is also a very good riding vehicle. Drove it from NC to Disney a few years ago and it was not a bad 10 hour drive! We also used it to move our DD to college - when you take the back seats out it is very large inside. Used it since it was raining and DH's truck is not covered. Great purchase!
  14. BigDog

    need to vent

    Just wanted to send (((((((hugs)))))) your way. I too have had a miscarriage and they are very mentally draining. I did go on to have 2 kids. I would also run from the other doctors office. If you are uncomfortable there is no reason to stay with them. I did this after my first was born. Changed to a wonderful group in the large city near us and have been there over 20 years. My youngest is now 20 (yikes!). Just wanted to offer some support! I think I might wait a bit on the job changes until you get past the medical stuff. I think you will feel better once you and the new doctor can get a handle on the miscarriage issue.
  15. I work in a middle school (secretary) and we have an assigned OT that comes pretty regular to work with certain students. She is assigned to several schools and has to travel between them (all in same county). She seems to enjoy it. She is not based in a school more like a mobile therapist. Not sure what you would dislike about working in a school, but it might not be the same everywhere. I can tell you that I quit college myself and now that I am nearing 50 I truly regret that I did not finish. Just something left undone. Now that we have a DD in college I know I will never go back. Just think long and hard about quitting - life sometimes gets in the way of finishing goals.
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