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mbeaser last won the day on May 30 2016

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About mbeaser

  • Birthday June 9

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  1. mbeaser

    What's up with us

    Very glad that your medications are working. Sorry about DH and his misery. It might be easiest to pray the leadership changes and becomes bearable rather than hoping for orders that make you move again....
  2. Thanks, everyone. They are more of a blessing to me, though! My disability will drop because a portion of it is for my dependents. Once the divorce is final, the portion I get for STBXH, DD19 and DS16 will stop. My attorney's secretary called me today to let me know that we no longer have court on the 22nd; the judge denied him being able to spend any more of the equity without a hearing. I also signed taxes today, refund is only about 2600 but it will go to our joint account and from there to my attorney's trust account. Tax return shows that his business made money last year, so he has no excuse for why the business can't pay it's debts....definitely looking forward to having it all settled.
  3. I'm in the final countdown for my BS in Accounting, with 16 credits to finish by Aug 31. 6 credits are Project+ certification (will finish by the end of April), then a 6 credit class (5 assignments, will finish by the end of May) and finally the 4 credit capstone. I will have 3 months to finish it, and I fear I will need every bit of it. It looks like as much work as the entire 3 years before it lol. Yesterday was the last meeting of DD9's homeschool co-op group; I help out in the childcare area as my assignments and was talking to a lady there whose DH works at the localish (22 miles away) military base and she encouraged me to look for jobs there. Her DH does the hiring in my area and has a big issue finding people who want to stay local and work. So, while she was still there, I looked at the website and they happen to have an advertised student clerk position. No guarantee I can get it, and it is only GS-3 (equivalent to about $10.38 an hour), but I get disabled vet preference and they are more likely to promote from within. Also, my 12.5+ years in the military would count towards earning vacation time and I can buy into the retirement system once I have a permanent position (it will cost me less than $1000 per year of service to have it all count and final retirement is based off the highest 3 years of earnings overall, with each year of service providing 1% of high 3 average in retirement, so it is awesome to be able to buy in). Prayers that I will be offered a position would be appreciated. The student clerk job would be great, because by the time it ended I will have my BS to qualify for a higher position. A month ago, I re-enrolled DD13 in public school. She was having a rough time with the divorce/move/leave the dogs situation and missing her friends from school. She was bullied the previous school year, but that was in the integrated arts program. I was able to enroll her in the KEY (gifted) program, with her fellow nerds She said they are all really nice and she is really enjoying it (especially seeing her BFF daily; spring break almost killed her). She smiled more in the first week back than she did in the 4 months before that. I have to drive her to school every morning and pick her up every night, which is a pain, but worth it in the long run. A little more than a month ago, DD19 started moving in. She is fully moved in now. I also added her and DS16 to our phone plan a couple of weeks ago, with new phones. Their Dad shut off their old phones last week for a few hours, but then turned them back on. They will be giving their old phones back to their Dad this week, and telling him the don't want a relationship with him right now. This is totally their choice. Tomorrow, we will get DD19 her own car insurance (he tried to say she had to give her car back to him, but the provisional agreement for the divorce says she gets to drive it. She paid us for it and it is still registered and titled in my name so there isn't a darn thing he can do other than steal it to keep it from her until the divorce is final), so he won't be paying for anything of theirs at that point. Apparently he is trying to date someone DD19's age and telling people that DD19 and DS16 are horribly spoiled and only care about him for money. It's pretty heartbreaking. A month ago, DD19 called me from work and asked if I could pick up her friend K(18) because K's parents were kicking her out (for a crazy reason). K is a senior in high school and graduates next month. I picked her up, and her Dad had shut her phone off before we made it to her work (10 minutes tops) to see if she could pick up extra hours. In that month, things have improved somewhat; she went to Easter at her grandparents and has been spending more and more time with her family. I told her she is welcome to stay with us until graduation if she wants and then it is up to DD19 because she is staying in her room with her. We moved things around when DD19 moved in. The house we rent is technically a 3 bed, 2 math. The biggest bedroom was my room, and that is where DD19 and K are, in my queen bed. DS15 used to be in the bonus room, which has no closet but is really big. Now, DD9 and I are in his old bunk bed there and he is in DD9's old room (she wanted a bunk bed and he wanted a non-bunk bed, so everyone is happy). DD13 is the only one who stayed in the same room. DD19 also brought the dogs with her (125 lb mastiff and a 50lb Aussie mutt), which made us all very happy (well, except the budget, but they are worth it). And, when he stays (usually every other weekend and most of his spring break, and likely a lot of summer) DS16 claims the living room as his room (he keeps his stuff in the closet next to the front door, which is also the closet I use since my room doesn't have one lol). We joke about our clown house; people just pour out of it I am hoping to buy a bigger house (so everyone can have their own room, well except K) before the lease is up at the end of July (just before school starts), but we can go month to month if we have to (need the divorce to be finalized). STBXH apparently isn't willing to do any mediation on the divorce stuff, so our hearing got pushed out to May 25 so we could have 4 hours with the judge in hopes that would be enough time for him to decide who gets what. I took out a mutual restraining order against either of us spending anymore marital assets since we know that STBXH has taken out a home equity line and spent at least $33K of that (his equity line limit is $51K,total equity is about $70K), plus took a $15K loan against his retirement plan (which was worth about $57K before the loan, marital portion is about $33K). Additionally, he has gotten an $8K bonus from work late last year and an $11.5K bonus this year that are supposed to go into trust that I am pretty sure he spent. However, he is asserting that he can't run his business (which has lost money every year) without access to the rest of the home equity (because apparently the $48K-75K+ he's already theoretically put into a money losing business that never grossed more than $150K isn't enough); so we have a hearing for that on Apr 22. I am expecting him to get his rear handed to him, but we will see. Prayers for both court dates, and the kids would be appreciated. We suspect he spent all that money on the 25yo he was seeing (and ignoring his kids for; we aren't sure if he's still seeing her and also trying to be with other people-and don't really care, but we do know he's telling mutual church friends that he's not sleeping around and I am-we get a good laugh about me entertaining on my bunk bed with DD9 on the top bunk). He wanted to file joint taxes for 2015 (any refund will go into the joint account and I will immediately write a check to my attorney's trust account) but the accountant hasn't finished with them yet, so that will be interesting to see about....I didn't have any taxable income, so I won't be penalized if I don't file. You can bet your boots I will be going over the return very carefully before signing. Right now, I am able to cover all of my increased expenses (doubled food, dogs, phones, etc) from my snowball; when the divorce finalizes, I will lose a portion of my disability and my GI Bill ends when I graduate and at that point my expenses will exceed what I will get, so I have applied to several other jobs. DS15 wants to continue homeschooling and I plan to buy a house in the area I want the girls to go to school, so going back to work full time should work out fine. Plus DD19 can possibly help with transportation, as long as it doesn't interfere with her classes or job. So, just waiting to hear back on job applications, and with 2-5 months I should have enough lead time to have new income in place by the time the disability and GI Bill drop off.
  4. You are doing such a great job. Not sure if you'd be interested, but I've read that you can make your own almond milk and that it is much less expensive.
  5. mbeaser

    2016 Budget

    I have had what feels very little progress on the divorce front (well, I got a huge envelope last week detailing info his attorney wants from me, so I guess that's "progress"), but I refuse to allow it to discourage me (I had hoped we could work things out and maybe be finalized by now, or have everything ready for Jan 1 since he wants to file taxes jointly). If he wants to fight things out, then I will simply ask for him to pay my attorney fees. The good news is, his kids (DD19 and DS16) are still talking to me (although I am not sure they tell him they still talk to/see me; we did Christmas eve service together minus him). Since I am not asking for any ongoing support from him, I can still do my 2016 budget! I actually get child support every 2 weeks, so in May and October I get an extra 420 after tithe. I also have a small surplus this month that I will carry over to January. The only things I am sure I don't have in the budget are haircuts (mine is 75 cut/color/brow wax, and I will just plan to get them in January, May and October when I have the extra money if I can't cashflow it when I want it; no one else gets a paid for haircut) and car maintenance. I mystery shop for oil changes, and we just replaced the tires in February with 70K mile tires with warranty, so I will cashflow anything else. My utilities are estimates since I have only had 2 months of bills at the new place, except for electric which I have only had 1 month (but it was $41 for 24 days, so my estimate is still quite high). Anything extra goes towards monthly expenses (detailed below). I also get 1050 a month in GI Bill (after tithe) but I don't budget spending any of that because it is being used to pay my student loans and fund BS3 when those are paid off. I guess technically we can call that my snowball I am mostly interested in being able to tread water until I graduate in September 2016, at which time I plan to find a part time accounting job and start on BS4 and beyond Income: VA disabilty 1738 Child support 940 total 2678 Expenses: Tithe 268 missionary support 100 rent 805 Life insurance 69 Auto/renters insurance 97 water (utility) 40 sewer 20 electric 100 natural gas 60 phones 107 (3 lines, all prepaids) planet fitness 20 onstar 20 cable/net/netflix 68 sinking* 300 monthly** 604 remaining 0 *My sinking fund covers clothes (500/yr), homeschooling (750/yr), church camp, car registration, birthdays (both for my kids and for others) and Christmas. **monthly spending covers everything not listed above, including grocery, gas, eating out***, entertainment and hba. Plus whatever crops up. For December, we should be at 635, but I also spent 35 on just the ham for Christmas dinner (because Kentucky Legend ham is worth it, and I hosted 14 total), so I definitely see this as doable. Just for perspective, when I was gazelle about paying off debt in 2009/2010 my monthly spending budget was under 400 (but I also didn't have 2 teens!). ***(we have probably $350 in gift cards for BWW, Texas Roadhouse, Papa Johns and other places that I can dole out over the year without having to hit the monthly spending budget, but obviously this will only go so far). I also currently pay the kids commission for chores, which averages to about 60 a month (haven't had to do without yet, but it is also a potential chopping-block item). I did not include swagbucks in my monthly income. I have averaged 125/mo for the last 4 months. I will likely use that to supplement monthly spending, but don't want to count on it and spend it before I get it! -Missionary support I could probably technically take out of tithe, but unless things get a lot tighter than they are now, I would prefer to keep them separate. -My life insurance is high, and only for $400K, and will go up every 5 years, but I am un-insurable for a new policy (I have things in my brain that make insurers unhappy, it seems), so I'm happy to have what I have. -We don't *have* to have 3 phone lines, but I like being able to reach DS15 and/or DD13 when I am out and about if one is at home. DD9 is never home alone, so she doesn't a phone (much to her disappointment). -I also don't have to have onstar, but I like it. -I am technically under contract with planet fitness through early March, but I also plan to keep that. I believe I have a year fee in June for it was well ($40), but that will come out of May's extra support. I lost 25lbs from late Feb-mid-May and have kept it off (I am 0.8lbs above, which after Christmas is a win!), so things would have to be worse than they are for me to give it up (it helps tremendously with my pain level to keep the weight off and stay fit, plus I'd hate to have to buy new clothes from regaining weight ). I have nothing budgeted for medical/dental. STBXH's policy covers us until the divorce, so we all have fresh eye exams and will have new dental cleanings at the first of the year. We just had checkups in October after I filed for divorce. XH1 (my kiddos dad) had re-signed them to his policy starting Jan 1. It covers checkups fully and up to 600 a year in dental (so a cleaning each and maybe a cavity here or there), plus they would have to have about 10k in medical needs before we had to pay anything (they haven't had this in their lifetimes, between the 3 of them) and then I believe it would be 10% copay. I'm the only one on any prescriptions and my medical is fully covered by the VA since I am 80% disabled. I don' have vacations in the budget (already paid for 2016s), but when I get a job I plan to use my income for my snowball and I will use my tax refunds for that years vacations (so 2017 refund will pay for 2017 vacation). I expect to be able to follow my 2016 budget long term (at least until kids are out of the house and child support ends), although it may morph a little as my vehicle ages and I have to eventually replace it (I have a 2010 GMC Acadia, so in a couple of years I can sell it and buy a smaller-yet-newer car). So, there it is!
  6. mbeaser

    Doctors Appointment

    *hugs* I had an injury that they told me would never get better. I had one doctor tell me that my left leg was permanently shorter, and although I could put a lift in my shoe that may help, it would always give me that dreadful pain. Then, after my 3rd round of physical therapy, I was chatting with the physical therapist and asked her about it. She asked me a few questions (and laughed at the "lift doctor," said that was his answer to answer and helped no one), pushed around on my hip, and solved the issue. I had to go back a couple of times after my youngest was born (darn hormones relaxed my hips a little too much) for more pushing around, but it fixed something that had a major impact on my life for several years. Does that mean the same thing could fix you? Probably not. But all hope is never lost I will be praying for the healing that you need!
  7. mbeaser

    The story

    So sorry you are going through this. Definitely find someone to talk to. Praying!
  8. mbeaser

    I hate moving

    There are 5 kids total. The oldest 2 (DD19 and DS16) are his from his first marriage. The other 3 (DS15, DD12, DD8) are from my first marriage. I have always treated his kids like my own, and I think they see that (actually, I have probably been more lenient with his because they've not had a ton of stability). They know I love them, and that I stayed with him after I found out about what he was doing because of them. But, he is still their Daddy, and I try not to put them in the position of having to choose between us. We are both barred from doing anything like selling or even signing over. I didn't move out or switch insurance or anything until the agreement was done. I can't claim much credit for how great the rent is here, I am in a low COL area I did pray a lot for the perfect house. The rental company had everyone come look at it the same time, on the same day. There were at least 40 people there, and I was asking for a 9 month lease (my Dad is 78, and if I need to go help take care of him, I want to be able to move before school starts in the fall). If we stay another year after that, rent will drop to 750. And, yes. I somehow do think he thought of would pay insurance, at least until things were final. He comes up with some even bigger head scratchers. DS15 and I just look at each other sometimes. DS once said "it must be nice for him in his own little world, at least until he realizes what ours is really like...."
  9. mbeaser

    I hate moving

    Actually, I think nearly everyone hates moving. But I am pretty tired of it just now. We have a great, new to us place. It is a rental. I had budgeted up to 850 a month and it is 805, so yay. I have to pay a deposit of 180 for electric, but nothing for gas or water. I didn't pay water before (we had a well), but since this house is half the sq ft I had before (and is slab), I am expecting the water bill costs to offset the lower gas and electric. We do not yet have internet because the self-install failed. We figured this out Monday, and Nov 11 was the first day they had an appointment available, but said to keep checking for earlier appointments. I snagged one that night for the 10th, and every time I was someplace with internet I would check for an earlier time. I looked yesterday and they have availability for tomorrow 830am-1030am. As a full-time, online only college student I definitely need my internet! And swagbucks....(which is paying for my internet and then some). I have still made my first goal every day, without spending money on swagbucks, so pretty happy about that. Kids are doing great with the move. They really like the new house, and so far STBXH is letting us come over daily to visit the dogs. I have also been able to see DD19 then as well (although I guess she won't technically be DD anymore, she still is in my heart and mind!). I haven't seen DS16, but that isn't unusual; he is a busy high school student, and still lives with his Mom. I am still going to go to his all-star soccer game on Saturday. Sadly, DD19 and DS16 are 99% not going on our Disney trip in 2 weeks Their Mom gets ultimate say (she is custodial), and I totally understand her reasons (I am flying out with the 3 younger kids days before they would leave, and then DD19 and DS16 were supposed to fly out with STBXH and DS15s BFF; now instead of STBXH going it is my BFF. So, if they go, it makes them feel like they are choosing me over him, and also they wouldn't have a direct parent there. My BFF and DS15s BFF will still fly in later). Still, it really sucks. They are going to miss DD12 and DD8's birthdays, and never get to see the Osborne lights Since STBXH has some major honesty issues, their Mom and I are keeping in contact. We have a preliminary agreement in place (would have had court Monday but we had an agreement beforehand), but I have no idea when everything will be done. In theory, it could be as early as Dec 5. But, we would have to have a final agreement done for that, and STBXH wants to delay until after Jan 1 to file taxes together. I am hoping I still get to have a relationship with his kids after everything is final, because he is not going to be happy to have to give me anything. He was mad at me today because I told my auto/renters insurance that I moved out, so they called him to let him know he needed to start his policy. Prelim agreement says I cover the vehicle I am keeping (which is titled in his name), and he covers the vehicles he is keeping (DD19s car and DS16s car that he is currently driving). He somehow thinks that didn't include insurance. And, actually, his insurance is somehow going to be lower, but he thought it was really high. Anyway, he said he would take it up with his attorney, and I had to wonder if he even read the prelim agreement (which his attorney submitted to mine). It said we would split the tax return and any bonuses. He should get an $8k bonus soon, that will be backdated with union agreement to before we separated. Yep, pretty sure he didn't read it. I actually like his attorney (we used him to get support lowered earlier this year), and I think we have a decent chance of getting a fair settlement. House appraised within 15K of what I was hoping for, so I think I will still get everything I wanted Not going to stress about it either way
  10. I take classes with WGU (which I am guessing is the school you are talking about). I like that format, but it does require a lot of self motivation. About half the classes are just a single test for the credits, the other half have a varying number of assignments (although 4-6 assignments for a 6 credit class is pretty common for business/accounting). You may be surprised how much financial aid you qualify for; you can run a fafsa estimator that will give you an idea of what your expected family contribution (EFC) would be, and estimate PELL grants from that. Good luck!
  11. mbeaser

    137 days.

    *hugs* One or the other (relatives or deployment) would be hard. Plus you homeschool and have special needs kiddos. I am glad that you can at least vent here!
  12. mbeaser

    I'm Back!

    Great to hear from you, but sorry to hear about the depression. Sounds like you have some awesome friends! Hope the divorce can proceed quickly now that you are ready to work on it.
  13. Yay on no cancer! Sorry to hear about the fibroids. Sounds like progress is happening divorce-wise, and that is good too!
  14. mbeaser

    Am I wrong?

    Aren't you in BS2 with 3 jobs already? Your DH's blow money is his to spend, really, but I would sit down and have a talk with him about how helping her out (an adult with only a part time job), without a clearly defined way for it to end, is going to put a huge strain on your own budget. I really can understand a hiccup here and there, but it doesn't sound like she has a plan (and why does she have loan payments already if she graduated in May? There's usually a 6 month grace period).
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