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gazelle2goals last won the day on June 20 2020

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About gazelle2goals

  • Birthday July 23

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  1. Hey MoonBaby! Funny how we all come back! I am just popping in for a quick read but saw your post and wanted to say hi. I am glad that you have a new love. If I remember, you were dealing with quite a bit with your former. Someone that understands and supports you is life-changing for your mental health and outlook on life. (I went through a divorce a and am in a new relationship and it is night and day.) Congrats on coming back and getting back to it. One bite at a time. I use (ok, off and on if I am honest) YNAB and love it. I have the old version that isn't a monthly fee so it is no longer supported and doesn't have some of the new things.
  2. Gelly! So good to see you and get an update. I have been MIA on here and need to "get back to it" with the steps and post an update. I am glad to hear that you are doing well. You have gone through quite a bit in the last year!
  3. SO awesome!!!! I am going to pass your success on to others that I know dealing with this as it is inspiring. You both are making a difference whether you realize it or not!
  4. Congrats! When my kids were babies, I had a neighborhood tween "mother's helper" come over a few days a week for a few hours (along with MIL or my mom coming over a few times a week). It worked well as I could work when they were here and I would take breaks to breastfeed. As the kids got older, I scheduled the mother's helper times for in between naps so I could get a few solid hours of work done each day. When they went down for a nap after lunch, the helper would leave. My work is also flexible and ranges from part-time to full-time depending on my workload (self-employed).
  5. gazelle2goals

    Court Update

    I agree with others. Do not give him an inch. You owe him no courtesies. He could have worked to resolve this over the last few months. It may be a different story if he was honest and upstanding, but I fear he is trying to work the system and you both.
  6. I am delighted to hear about your progress on the home front and health-wise. So sorry for your miscarriage. Take the time you need to do the things that are calling to you. There is time for you to take your time and focus on some personal goals. That kettlebell class sounds fun! Too bad the commute would take me all day to get there and back!
  7. gazelle2goals

    More Prayers :(

    This must be so hard for you and your friends. I wish there was an easy way to get our vets the help they need and help them realize there are better solutions than death for their hurts. Those poor families and their friends. I hope you and DH are hanging in there and holding each other up through this tough time (well, always really).
  8. Keeping you in my prayers Gelly!
  9. Big HUGS to you Gelly! It sounds as if you have thought this out and know what you need to do and are making strides toward it. I hope that your DH does go to AA as it seems to be a pattern and people rarely break patterns on their own. You (and a baby) deserve to be in a loving, committed and SAFE relationship. I am not suggesting that he physically hurts you or would hurt a child, but the emotional damage can be even worse - with or without alcohol. That being said (and I am not making excuses for him at all)- travel can bring out the worst in people. Especially with the holiday madness. Take advantage of your alone time to really think about what you want and what you will accept from DH behavior-wise. If he really does want to break the cycle and show that he does care about and value your desires, he should be able to commit to AA. If he doesn't want to go, he may love the alcohol more than he loves you. I don't mean for that to sound rude, that is just the control that alcohol can have on people. (I have learned a lot from my step-mom who has been recovering for over 36 years - it nearly killed her/destroyed her life several times before she got really serious about it.) Please make sure to take care of you. Continue to be the strong woman that you have been to this point. I think you are pretty amazing and deserve happiness!
  10. Amy, hindsight is 20/20. Please don't beat yourself up over what you think you could have done to help (I know that is easier said than done). Honestly, you have no way of knowing if, in trying to help, it would have pushed him into doing this sooner. Everyone reacts differently to things and what may have helped one person, may threaten another. What you can do is be there for your friend. I am sure that she will need hugs, food, a shoulder to cry on, help with the kids, etc. Also know that if you are feeling like you should have seen this coming, your friend (his wife) is likely dealing with that guilt of feeling like she should have as well. She needs reassurance that she couldn't have been all-knowing and unfortunately, her hubby made his choices independently from her. We will never understand the why or how of everything, but must live with it and try to heal. My friend's step-brother ended his life in a similar manner due to PTSD (when his wife was on vacation visiting her sister with their baby). That was 8 months ago and it is just so sad to see the guilt that she has (if only she hadn't gone on vacation or if he had gone with her or...). Things were good with them but she knew he had this struggle. It is hard to witness pain and not be able to help make it better. ((HUGS))
  11. That is so disheartening to hear. It's horrid to hear of it happening any time but I can't imagine trying to put on Christmas for the kids while going through that (depending on the kids ages). Post is such a struggle. I hope that your friend and her kids get counseling and are able to work through this in time. Prayers for them!
  12. I have the same experience as Lissa. I went to 4 months of physical therapy for my back/hips and the sports chiropractor was able to make things substantially better in 5 visits. Blew my mind and I swear by it now. A few years ago, I did something to my arm. I tried the suggested physical therapy for 3 weeks and then decided to go to my chiropractor and she fixed me right up. It seems that physical therapy doesn't work as well for my body as chiropractic therapy does. Keep trying different things and see what will work for you. Hopefully something will help with your pain. (HUGS)
  13. gazelle2goals

    The story

    I love that you have this place to come and talk with people that care and we DO care. I'm not sure how long you have known about the lies and half truths but it sounds like you are making a plan and not making any rash decisions. I think it is great for you to do a budget and see where you stand alone and together so you know what your options are. It is one thing to stay with someone because you want to and a completely different thing to stay with them because you feel you HAVE to and don't have options. I can't imagine how you are feeling but have no doubt that you will both need counseling to get through this (whether or not you stay together). Big HUGS to you!
  14. I am sorry that they are delving into your personal spending history. At least this will soon be done. It does sound like you have a plan and are making progress. I am really glad to hear that you feel the meetings help. Sometimes we just need to hear of others' struggles and successes to put ours in perspective.
  15. Wow Freedom! That all sounds positive! I am glad to hear that you are feeling more "free" from your ex and that you will be good with things either way. And kudos to you for giving some serious thought to the way you are dealing with stress and wanting to nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand. If you are feeling at all like you could slip a bit more, AA is a good idea. Heck, it sounds like a good idea at this time anyway. You may be surprised at how it may help with other areas of you life. (I have never gone, but have a few people close to me that have so I have no personal experience.)
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