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Plan Fatigue


jwhit7791

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We have been at this for 2 1/2 years and while we have made progress I feel like it isn't enough. I am not a patient person and we are a single income family. We started off with around $70k in debt, I think and we still have around $48k. But we have bought a house, bought a mini van, had a baby, replaced a well and water softener, and paid off the difference in the debt. Me not contributing financially is hard on me. That being said.......I would love to just power through and get this done.

 

BUT.

 

That is a really big but. I want things for the new house. Or things that we have put off. Or things that I just want to have. Totally selfish, stupid wants. Like a swingset for the kids, and curtains for my windows that don't have them, or a garage opener that works, swim lessons for the kids........the list is like a mile long.

 

HELP! Any kicks in the rear would be appreciated. Slaps to the back of the head. Because right now at this very moment in time, I am so close to not caring about this anymore.

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If you found out about Dave Ramsey today, not 2 1/2 years ago, would you be able to get out of debt in 24 months like the plan suggest. I would recommend starting over, maybe even re-reading the book. I re-read TMMO about every 12 months to rejuvenate my desperateness to get out of debt. For the "things" you want keep an eye out on craigslist for free things or become a member of your local freecycle. I see people give away swing sets and curtains all the time. You just have to adjust your expectations of what you "need". Your other option is to be out of debt when your minimums finally pay it off. How many years will that be? ;)

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Thanks Kelley ( I think I spelled that right?) That is a good perspective to look at it from. Now if only I could find my Ipod that my DH misplaced so I could listen to my TMMO on audio book.

 

Thinking of this as a new beginning might be just the kick in the pants I need. :)

 

I think that what is contributing to my feeling like we are getting not very far is the fact that we have been in saving mode for so long (much too long!) and also that I am only able to pay on our current debt once a month. So I have to wait a whole month to make progress. But we are getting somewhere......and we will be debt free someday soon!

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One kick in the pants coming up.....

 

Are you insane?!?!? Don't contribute anything financially?!?!? Really? There are two sides to every equation and this one is no exception... Let's see there's the income side that everyone freaks out about, thinking it is the most important part.... BUT don't we ALL know people who make LOTS more than we do and who are not doing so well? Of course we do. Because that other side of the equation the OUTGO is way out of hand. And THAT is where your financial participation comes in. BIG time!! You have in the last 2.5 years....

 

Bought a house

a car

a baby (well you know what I mean)

a well

a water softener

paid 2.5 years of interest

AND paid off $22,000 of debt.

 

And that's not enough? I'm thinking that's got to be closer to $50,000 paid off in those 2.5 years than $22,000. Paid off? Yes.... If any of these problems or expenses had come up 3 years ago, you'd be that much further in debt. Since you were able to cash-flow those things, they NEVER became debt. So they count in financial well-being. YOU CONTRIBUTE FINANCIALLY!! (*Did I say that loud enough???*L*) Even with all this stuff happening, you have somehow managed to put $733 towards debt each month (on average). That isn't anything to sneeze at. And it didn't "just happen". No pennies from heaven paid off the debt. You did that. The choices you made did that. So don't you say that just because you don't bring in an income that you aren't contributing... income is important, but so is controlling the outgo... and that is YOUR job. (**And you are doing a great job!!**)

 

And of course you want lots of stuff for your new house. All your old stuff looks out of place. You got a bigger better house, you want bigger better stuff! It's normal, it's natural, but it's not necessary. But ok... you want more/new stuff. So as your job as CFO and Chief gardner (the one trimming the family tree), what are you going to do? Go out and spend $500 on a swingset? Or find a way to get it cheaply? Maybe even free? Are you going to research how to install a garage door opener and see if you or DH could do it saving installation costs? Or just go out and pay someone else to do it? Are you going to visit every single thrift store and see if there are curtains that will work for what you want? Go buy some miniblinds? Or spend several hundred dollars on the "perfect" curtains?

 

Here is my bit of wisdom (Take it for what it's worth).... You are in the middle, in the maintenance phase of this program. This is the part where you have to just keep plodding through. It's no fun. It's not glamorous. It's just the only way to get from here to THERE... and you really, really, want to be there. But it seems like it will take forever. It won't. It will be through before you are thinking it will. And you will get the fervor of "almost paid off" and then LOOK OUT! that part will fly by. Not while it's happening, but every time you look back.

 

I think it's important to get what you want sometimes too. But you don't have to be silly about it. Swingsets are on freecycle or craigslist frequently. It's how we got the one in our front yard, and it's where it will go when we're done with it. The kids enjoyed it just as much as if we had bought it new. Maybe more, because the one we picked up sold for a heck of a lot more than I would have been willing to pay. Had extra hanging things, and swinging things. *LOL*

 

As CFO, I make it my job to get the things we want too. BUT I want it to have as little impact on our budget as possible. I want it to be "outside" the budget. Meaning that I save that money from somewhere else. Sometimes I spend my blow money on it, sometimes it's late fees from our rentals, sometimes I spend the month hanging laundry and turning stuff off like a crazy person to keep the light bill extremely low, or make EVERYTHING from scratch so that there's grocery money left over. None of these things is going to happen EVERY month. (I know myself too well for that!) But if doing it for a month or two will get the "thing" that we want, without taking away from our long term goals, then I'm willing to put in the time.

 

Just because my mind works that way, I am curious if you have added up what you have actually PAID towards debt. Not the payoff amount, but the actual amount of payments. Like when you buy a house and that first payment is $600, but only $100 (if you are lucky) goes towards principal. Looking at it years later, you can say that you only paid $100 towards payoff.... but really you spent $600... it's just that the $500 doesn't show up anywhere... because it was just the interest. And we don't count that towards debt payoff. But when you are feeling like you are, and the outlook is what it is... I think it's important to know how much of your money actually went to paying down that debt.... not just the amount the debt decreased, but the actual family dollars that went into it.

 

We'll miss you if you go, and will welcome you back with open arms..... BUT I will be sad for you if you leave.... because one thing I have noticed with those that give up and then return years later.... they generally end up with as much or more debt than they started with the first time. Or they spend years standing in place, making NO progress. I think it may actually be worse for them, because they know where they could have been if they had just stuck with the program through the middle part.... through the maintenance phase, until the "almost done" fervor could catch hold of them.

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As always my friend, your words of wisdom have hit me (hard! LOL) but don't worry. I am not straying away........just gotta get a second wind.

 

And I was looking on CL today. Priorities need to be set and I need to get to work being the best CFO (love that!) that I can be. Make those $$$$ scream for mercy.

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I love being CFO. It's my "job" on facebook. :) Somebody has to do this part and if it were up to my husband we wouldn't have nearly as much as we do in the bank right now. He works to make the money and I make the money work for us.

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