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Update on our life


mimi

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Lots of big changes at my house...

 

I got accepted to nursing school! I have 4 classes left and I will have completed my RN degree. I have a 4.0 and I am loving the program. 

 

I am working full time as a 911 response EMT. They just made me a supervisor as well. I love my job!

 

Last summer my husband announced he was moving out. He stated he wasn't in love with me anymore. I now know he was talking to another woman for over a year. He has an apartment across town and I have filed for divorce. I have full custody of the kids and he sees them sporadically a few times a month.

 

So yeah. Single mom of 6, working full time, and going to school full time. There is definitely some belt tightening happening at our house these days. I plan to sell the house this spring. We will split the equity and then I will be moving with the kids to something smaller that I can better afford. Until then I'm just doing what I need to do to make the ends meet.

Edited by mimi

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It's good to "see" you again. I'm so sorry to hear about the marriage but congratulations on your educational progress.  You've always been an amazing mom and money manager, I know you'll come out ok even though it will be a struggle.  The kids must be getting big.  Are they in public school now and have the medical issues lessened?

 

I had a YouTube pop up last night of a women with 8 children in a similar position.  I don't know what's wrong with men who don't appreciate the beautiful families they have.

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Awesome on nursing school!  Congrats!  And Good Job!

 

Congrats on finding a job you love that can support you and family!

 

I'm sorry about your marriage.

 

Good job on your plan.  Make sure that you talk to your lawyer about the sale of the house.  You may be able to work out an "equitable" split that takes into account any funds you have put into it since the separation, or something that is more fair to the individual that has full custody of 6 kiddos.  Also ask him about the tax repercussions.  I know there may be some, and that you can mitigate them, but I'm not sure what or how.

 

Please also remember to take care of you.  Arrange a few hours when you aren't working, or studying, or taking care of kids, or working on something else.... where you can just BE.  Where you can go to the park, or library, or just sit in your car and just be you.    If you take care of you, it's easier to take care of everyone and everything else.

 

Longest I was ever a "single parent" to 6 was about 4 months when DH deployed.... and it's not the same.... only advice I have is to make a pattern, a plan, a schedule of sorts.  Everything worked better when we did that.  And figure out what "good enough" looks like.  It doesn't have to be perfect, just good enough.   And to carve out time for you.  If you snap at the little stuff, it's time for you to have a "time out".... even if you can only do it in the house when everyone has gone to bed!  *L*.  A good cup of cocoa, wine, or ice cream, a book that has nothing to do with anything (I call it brain candy), and a minute or 60 to yourself can work wonders.

 

My children still remember the first time I put myself in time out!  *LOL*. Bad day.... really bad day.... and I just decided that if the kids could have time out, then so could mom.  Went into my room for 5 or 10 minutes.  Knock on the door....

"MoooooooM!!!"  

What?

..... idk what tiny innane thing they wanted....

Is anyone bleeding?

.....noooooo.....

Is the house on fire?

....Nooooooo....

Does anyone require a doctor?

.....noooooo.....

Then mommy is in time out.  I'll be allowed out in a few minutes.

.........................

......................

..............  Ok.......... (in awed whispers that could be heard a mile away). Mommy's in time out!  What did she do?  I don't know!  But she's in time out!  And then those precious little giggles that make mom's hearts melt.  

 

I think they stopped fighting or whatever they were doing, for a minute anyway..... and so was born Mommy's time out.  And voluntary time out for that matter.  The idea they you could put yourself in time out when you knew you needed it, or just wanted to be alone for a minute in what is a very chaotic house.  It was a very good thing.  =0)

 

Good luck!  And Congratulations.  Hope you have a great day, and a time out as needed!

 

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21 hours ago, Plinda said:

It's good to "see" you again. I'm so sorry to hear about the marriage but congratulations on your educational progress.  You've always been an amazing mom and money manager, I know you'll come out ok even though it will be a struggle.  The kids must be getting big.  Are they in public school now and have the medical issues lessened?

 

I had a YouTube pop up last night of a women with 8 children in a similar position.  I don't know what's wrong with men who don't appreciate the beautiful families they have.

It is good to "see" you as well!! Yes, the kids are getting big! The younger 5 are all in public school now.

 

H is at the community college and doing well. Thankfully her tuition is covered by financial aid.

S is a Junior in high school. She is actually in a play right now at school and just made the honor society.

E is in 6th grade and has become quite the softball catcher. 

L is also in 6th grade and is just as softball crazy. She actually just got diagnosed as having ADHD and autism (bringing our total to 2 with ADHD, 3 with epilepsy, and 3 with autism)

B is in 5th grade and still a hand full. His behavior is vastly improved, and he has developed a love of technology.

M is in 4th grade. After years of intensive speech therapy, she is FINALLY talking! She has soooo much to say and has quite the little personality.

 

Medically speaking we are in a quiet period. E has stopped growing again and has to go back to endocrinology for follow ups. L however got a clean bill of health from cardiology and endocrinology so I am hopeful E will as well. Everyone's epilepsy is under control, so I am taking that as a massive blessing.

 

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4 hours ago, momto6 said:

Awesome on nursing school!  Congrats!  And Good Job!

 

Congrats on finding a job you love that can support you and family!

 

I'm sorry about your marriage.

 

Good job on your plan.  Make sure that you talk to your lawyer about the sale of the house.  You may be able to work out an "equitable" split that takes into account any funds you have put into it since the separation, or something that is more fair to the individual that has full custody of 6 kiddos.  Also ask him about the tax repercussions.  I know there may be some, and that you can mitigate them, but I'm not sure what or how.

 

Please also remember to take care of you.  Arrange a few hours when you aren't working, or studying, or taking care of kids, or working on something else.... where you can just BE.  Where you can go to the park, or library, or just sit in your car and just be you.    If you take care of you, it's easier to take care of everyone and everything else.

 

Longest I was ever a "single parent" to 6 was about 4 months when DH deployed.... and it's not the same.... only advice I have is to make a pattern, a plan, a schedule of sorts.  Everything worked better when we did that.  And figure out what "good enough" looks like.  It doesn't have to be perfect, just good enough.   And to carve out time for you.  If you snap at the little stuff, it's time for you to have a "time out".... even if you can only do it in the house when everyone has gone to bed!  *L*.  A good cup of cocoa, wine, or ice cream, a book that has nothing to do with anything (I call it brain candy), and a minute or 60 to yourself can work wonders.

 

My children still remember the first time I put myself in time out!  *LOL*. Bad day.... really bad day.... and I just decided that if the kids could have time out, then so could mom.  Went into my room for 5 or 10 minutes.  Knock on the door....

"MoooooooM!!!"  

What?

..... idk what tiny innane thing they wanted....

Is anyone bleeding?

.....noooooo.....

Is the house on fire?

....Nooooooo....

Does anyone require a doctor?

.....noooooo.....

Then mommy is in time out.  I'll be allowed out in a few minutes.

.........................

......................

..............  Ok.......... (in awed whispers that could be heard a mile away). Mommy's in time out!  What did she do?  I don't know!  But she's in time out!  And then those precious little giggles that make mom's hearts melt.  

 

I think they stopped fighting or whatever they were doing, for a minute anyway..... and so was born Mommy's time out.  And voluntary time out for that matter.  The idea they you could put yourself in time out when you knew you needed it, or just wanted to be alone for a minute in what is a very chaotic house.  It was a very good thing.  =0)

 

Good luck!  And Congratulations.  Hope you have a great day, and a time out as needed!

 

Lol! I think a mommy time out sounds like an amazing idea. I could very much use one! 

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I am so sorry to hear about the marriage, but you are a determined woman that has a plan, wow!  I know from experience the stress of nursing school - I loved it but it consumed a lot of time between classes, clinicals, and studying, but it was worth it in the end. Nursing provides sooooo many opportunities! Such a broad field, with good income potential, too. None of our clinicals were held in Long Term Care, but I ended up working in LTC/Rehab and have loved the work, but there is often overtime involved. Like an 8 hour day is 9 or 10, a 12 hour day is 13 or 14...it depends on being short staffed or getting admissions. Currently I have a Mon-Fri job, 8 - 4:30, but in reality work 50+ hours a week, and so do the other nurses who are on the floor (I now am a manager and do wound care).  I think I need to work somewhere that closes! ;) Like a doctor's office or a school nurse position...Anyway, congrats on loving school and your job - you are going to excel wherever. you land!

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