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Life After Divorce




Last time I poked into this LLNOE blog, it was April 2017. I was just beginning to dive into a divorce. Of course it wasn't what I wanted to have happen, and hindsight is 20/20.. If I could go back and change some decisions, I would possibly have chosen not to get married to him in the first place. (But then, would I be where I am now having learned the things I did through that marriage.. hrmmm.. head scratcher) 

But now that it has been 8 months since that blog post, I can absolutely state that I do not regret the decision one bit. In fact, I have learned so much about myself in this time and realized how strong and capable I really am!

The divorce was clean, simple, easy. There were a couple of minor flare ups due to his co-workers and parents putting a bug in his ear that he should fight for more, but I reminded him that he signed the papers agreeing already to everything we had agreed upon in the first place. I went to the courthouse in July and the divorce was finalized. He did not show up.

The house, which I'd bought previous to marrying him, was mine, and I went straight to work tidying it up, re-staining the porches, had the gutters and siding and windows cleaned, brought in some fresh gravel and bark, patched small holes and spot-painted.. Basically freshened up the entire place. Called a DR ELP realtor to sell it. I purchased the home in 2013 for $170k, had offers in less than 1 month, and the house was sold in early October for $245k 

I pared down my things tremendously, giving away (joyfully! it's fun!) items I knew I wouldn't need to friends and family. I even let several of my cousins "shop" my home as I was packing for things they might want :lol: OK, it was a lot of fun! My ex was all moved out by June, so by this point is was just my possessions. My aim was to fit (without the awful stacks of boxes) whatever I was keeping in the family room-turned-bedroom at my mom's place that I was moving into. So yes, I went from a 3bd/2.5ba to a large room in the basement this summer. ;)

During this entire whirlwind, I was reconnected with guy I used to know pre-marriage. He helped me with a lot of the house freshening work and we got out a lot during the summer, rollerblading, walking the dog, etc. We had some history from our early twenties, but we learned pretty quickly that he and I both want very much the same things in our lives. We're both the self-motivated, always trying to improve ourselves, love projects, can't sit still kind of people. We've been spending a LOT of time together!

So he has in his possession a travel trailer/RV. In decent shape, a bit old, but taken care of over the years. Boy, did I dream that thing into oblivion! I've always been keen on the idea of tiny home living, extreme downsizing, or living so cheaply that travel and experiences are always an option. Sooo.. I suggested we renovate that sucker. And surprisingly (or not?!), he was quite receptive to the idea!

These days, my weekends have been spent renovating an RV. We are over the halfway mark. My weekdays are spent at work/home. I will certainly share some pictures once we finish the kitchen this month!

I enrolled for a couple of classes at the local college as I am just 3 elective classes away from my Associate's. Correct, I am 30 and still don't have it on paper, framed on the wall :) And I am so sick of that! So Accounting 201 and Business 201 begin January 2nd! (Paid for in cash, with a 3/5ths reimbursement from my work when I successfully complete!) I want a Bachelor's in Business. Business fires me up and gets me going. Since that degree covers so many careers and fields, I think it's a good option.

I am on BS4 right now and at the moment, actively seeking out an investment professional/firm/bank/whatever who will get me set up with a Roth IRA (I know..) so I can get rolling with my full contributions for 2017 before the deadline. I also just spent an afternoon early this week working on my Sinking Fund for 2018 (one of my favorite things to plan, ha!) Although I don't own a brick and mortar home right now, I feel pretty good about life. 

Photo is from a road trip I took in May with a girlfriend. We drove from the Puget Sound area of WA down to Lone Pine, CA, and back up over the span of about 6 days. We stopped near Crater Lake in Oregon, Lake Almanor & Lake Tahoe in CA, and Diaz Lake too.. :) Lots of camping, lots of reflection, and lots of quality girl time that I so desperately needed. 



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So glad I "wandered" over to the Blogs! What a great update. You are a busy lady, and sound like you're in a really good place for a fresh start. 

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Great update.

Just FYI, you can start your own Roth IRA with any earned income.  I have mine at Vanguard and am very happy with it.  Most employers offer pretax plans which are also great when you are saving for the future.

What a beautiful inspiration your post is.

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Wow honey just so much going on. I agree with Vanguard recommendation or Fidelity if you can use their lowest cost index funds. You have until mid April to get those funded for 2017. Don't let that timeline slip by. I'm glad to see you didn't slip back into BS2. Time for some progress!!!

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Gelly! So good to see you and get an update. I have been MIA on here and need to "get back to it" with the steps and post an update. I am glad to hear that you are doing well. You have gone through quite a bit in the last year!

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