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The Wedding


Chérie

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How strange things have become... I just got a wedding invitation from Spouses BFF. Instead of being all excited for them, I immediately thought, "This is going to be expensive." 

 

Geez... 

 

If I'm being completely honest, I don't want to go. Not because I don't love Alex to pieces, but because I don't want to be thrown off track. If it were a wedding in the same state, fine... I'd get a dress from the thrift store, some shoes that I could stand wearing for a few hours, budget for a decent present and call it a day. Nope, instead, it will require, at the bare minimum, One day off of work and 2 one-way tickets there ($450). I've already secured a ride back home with some friends who are in the wedding party. They are going to be driving back home and would love to have a reason to stop in Colorado for the "weed tourism." I didn't even know that was a term until today.  

 

If I can get out of going, I can at least cut out one plane ticket and not lose a day of work. Paid time off is hourly, but my regular pay includes commissions, so it's much better to work. 

I have a feeling that Spouse won't take too kindly to that idea though. I've missed the last few get-togethers. At first, it was due to school. Then, I was brand new at my job and couldn't miss any time. Then, I had gotten a small promotion and was in training. Then, it was another small promotion which required more training.  

The timing of their get-togthers usually falls when I am at a point that it doesn't make sense to drop everything. Right now, I don't really have an excuse other than that I'm in debt and would rather put hundreds of dollars towards that, than to fly to Montana  :(

 

I know that I'm going to go.... I just don't want to let go of the money!!! :o

I've already looked into taking a bus instead, it'll $134 instead, but I'd have to take off 2 days from work. I don't think Spouse would go for that, but it's worth a shot. I don't really know how to crunch the numbers for this. 

 

The wedding is June 3rd and this month, I budgeted to pay the 6-mon Auto Insurance premium. Therefore, there isn't much room for anything else. My snowball for the last check this month is $12. LoL

 

No, it's not funny.... Is 3 months a normal time frame to give people? I'm scrambling here. I think the first thing to do would be to secure the flight after Spouse tells me that I MUST go because "everyone will ask about you" and "You haven't seen X, Y, Z person in a long time." I can imagine it now. If it were just another get-together, I could probably wiggle out of it.. A wedding is a different story. 

 

Any tips, tricks, words of wisdom?

 

We won't need a car since other friends will be driving there a week prior to the wedding.

We probably won't need to pay for any food while we're there.

I THINK we can crash at the bride's house, so I'll have to confirm that. Not needing a hotel room would be awesome. 

I have $50 in a sinking fund for clothes already. That should be more than enough to cover a dress and shoes 

 

We will have to chip in for gas for the way home.

I need to start thinking of wedding presents. I don't think they are registered anywhere though.

The plane tickets are FOUR-HUNDRED and fifty FREAKING dollars right now....... If need be, I can pay half of my car insurance premium to have the cash to reserve the tickets.

I don't even know what else I need to plan for.

I was budgeting $60 for "Amusement" since Spouse was complaining that we don't see each other anymore. I was planning to rent movies and get a couple bottles of wine since we should both have a Saturday off together in a few weeks. I could re-route that money to the wedding stuff...

 

I need suggestions.   

--------- Later--------

Truth bomb from Plinda: 

The truth is that neither of you can afford to go.  You are $90lk in debt with a huge storm cloud breathing down your necks.  Life is pretty scary if the storm cloud hits and you are most likely to be the one picking up the pieces.  If that all doesn't scare you to death and make your DH mad at the debt nothing will.  This is a perfect example of why debt is destructive on more than a financial level.  Relationships are involved, joy is robbed from one of life's greatest celebrations,  you are full of stress instead of excitement, you have to skimp on clothing, travel, gifts, etc.  Let this motivate you more and pray it helps DH get the picture.

 

Nonetheless, you will probably end up going.  So set a budget and stick to it.  You have about 12 weeks so set aside about $100 week.  Plan that there will be some left from the $1200 and throw it as a snowball when you get back.  This is not an emergency so DON'T TOUCH THE BEF.  And remember ABSOLUTELY NO NEW DEBT.  You have a game plan now so stick to it.  Don't fall back into old patterns and lose any of the hard fought ground you've taken recently.  Don't dig a bigger hole, the one you have is big enough.

 

Oh, and it might be time to make deals like I'll go but you have to help me come up with the cash, stay on budget, and promise to cut up or not use the credit cards.

I agree that this is a trip and I'm sure Spouse will have no problems paying for much of it. We talked about me not going for a little while this morning due to the cost. We did some quick searching and determined that a flight for 1 person is $225 but a car rental is $100 and gas is $165 and we would actually get to spend some time together. Spouse says they will support me to the ends of the Earth if I want to work every waking moment until the debt is paid, but that we will need some time to reconnect. Especially, if we keep going the way we have been. 

So, for now, Spouse has agreed to not complain about no time spent together from now until the wedding. We are going to discuss the finance part of it this Friday. We have a 2hr. window that we will both be home to make a plan. I like the plan of $100/week and throwing the leftovers at the snowball but I think we will halve that so that only $600 comes out of the household income assuming worst-case senario that Spouse doesn't want to contribute any 2nd job income. I don't think that will be the case. For now, I'm getting all my notes together for Friday so that we can cover all of our bases and not miss anything. We need to get the big stuff sorted out. No matter how this plays out, I can already see that we are putting ourselves behind at least a month in our debt snowball. I just need to clear this hurdle and keep pressing on!

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