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Life is crazy (as usual)


mbeaser

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I'm in the final countdown for my BS in Accounting, with 16 credits to finish by Aug 31. 6 credits are Project+ certification (will finish by the end of April), then a 6 credit class (5 assignments, will finish by the end of May) and finally the 4 credit capstone. I will have 3 months to finish it, and I fear I will need every bit of it. It looks like as much work as the entire 3 years before it lol.

 

Yesterday was the last meeting of DD9's homeschool co-op group; I help out in the childcare area as my assignments and was talking to a lady there whose DH works at the localish (22 miles away) military base and she encouraged me to look for jobs there. Her DH does the hiring in my area and has a big issue finding people who want to stay local and work. So, while she was still there, I looked at the website and they happen to have an advertised student clerk position. No guarantee I can get it, and it is only GS-3 (equivalent to about $10.38 an hour), but I get disabled vet preference and they are more likely to promote from within. Also, my 12.5+ years in the military would count towards earning vacation time and I can buy into the retirement system once I have a permanent position (it will cost me less than $1000 per year of service to have it all count and final retirement is based off the highest 3 years of earnings overall, with each year of service providing 1% of high 3 average in retirement, so it is awesome to be able to buy in). Prayers that I will be offered a position would be appreciated. The student clerk job would be great, because by the time it ended I will have my BS to qualify for a higher position.

 

A month ago, I re-enrolled DD13 in public school. She was having a rough time with the divorce/move/leave the dogs situation and missing her friends from school. She was bullied the previous school year, but that was in the integrated arts program. I was able to enroll her in the KEY (gifted) program, with her fellow nerds :) She said they are all really nice and she is really enjoying it (especially seeing her BFF daily; spring break almost killed her). She smiled more in the first week back than she did in the 4 months before that. I have to drive her to school every morning and pick her up every night, which is a pain, but worth it in the long run.

 

A little more than a month ago, DD19 started moving in. She is fully moved in now. I also added her and DS16 to our phone plan a couple of weeks ago, with new phones. Their Dad shut off their old phones last week for a few hours, but then turned them back on. They will be giving their old phones back to their Dad this week, and telling him the don't want a relationship with him right now. This is totally their choice. Tomorrow, we will get DD19 her own car insurance (he tried to say she had to give her car back to him, but the provisional agreement for the divorce says she gets to drive it. She paid us for it and it is still registered and titled in my name so there isn't a darn thing he can do other than steal it to keep it from her until the divorce is final), so he won't be paying for anything of theirs at that point. Apparently he is trying to date someone DD19's age and telling people that DD19 and DS16 are horribly spoiled and only care about him for money. It's pretty heartbreaking.

 

A month ago, DD19 called me from work and asked if I could pick up her friend K(18) because K's parents were kicking her out (for a crazy reason). K is a senior in high school and graduates next month. I picked her up, and her Dad had shut her phone off before we made it to her work (10 minutes tops) to see if she could pick up extra hours. In that month, things have improved somewhat; she went to Easter at her grandparents and has been spending more and more time with her family. I told her she is welcome to stay with us until graduation if she wants and then it is up to DD19 because she is staying in her room with her. We moved things around when DD19 moved in. The house we rent is technically a 3 bed, 2 math. The biggest bedroom was my room, and that is where DD19 and K are, in my queen bed. DS15 used to be in the bonus room, which has no closet but is really big. Now, DD9 and I are in his old bunk bed there and he is in DD9's old room (she wanted a bunk bed and he wanted a non-bunk bed, so everyone is happy). DD13 is the only one who stayed in the same room. DD19 also brought the dogs with her (125 lb mastiff and a 50lb Aussie mutt), which made us all very happy (well, except the budget, but they are worth it). And, when he stays (usually every other weekend and most of his spring break, and likely a lot of summer) DS16 claims the living room as his room (he keeps his stuff in the closet next to the front door, which is also the closet I use since my room doesn't have one lol). We joke about our clown house; people just pour out of it :) I am hoping to buy a bigger house (so everyone can have their own room, well except K) before the lease is up at the end of July (just before school starts), but we can go month to month if we have to (need the divorce to be finalized).

 

STBXH apparently isn't willing to do any mediation on the divorce stuff, so our hearing got pushed out to May 25 so we could have 4 hours with the judge in hopes that would be enough time for him to decide who gets what. I took out a mutual restraining order against either of us spending anymore marital assets since we know that STBXH has taken out a home equity line and spent at least $33K of that (his equity line limit is $51K,total equity is about $70K), plus took a $15K loan against his retirement plan (which was worth about $57K before the loan, marital portion is about $33K). Additionally, he has gotten an $8K bonus from work late last year and an $11.5K bonus this year that are supposed to go into trust that I am pretty sure he spent. However, he is asserting that he can't run his business (which has lost money every year) without access to the rest of the home equity (because apparently the $48K-75K+ he's already theoretically put into a money losing business that never grossed more than $150K isn't enough); so we have a hearing for that on Apr 22. I am expecting him to get his rear handed to him, but we will see. Prayers for both court dates, and the kids would be appreciated. We suspect he spent all that money on the 25yo he was seeing (and ignoring his kids for; we aren't sure if he's still seeing her and also trying to be with other people-and don't really care, but we do know he's telling mutual church friends that he's not sleeping around and I am-we get a good laugh about me entertaining on my bunk bed with DD9 on the top bunk). He wanted to file joint taxes for 2015 (any refund will go into the joint account and I will immediately write a check to my attorney's trust account) but the accountant hasn't finished with them yet, so that will be interesting to see about....I didn't have any taxable income, so I won't be penalized if I don't file. You can bet your boots I will be going over the return very carefully before signing.

 

Right now, I am able to cover all of my increased expenses (doubled food, dogs, phones, etc) from my snowball; when the divorce finalizes, I will lose a portion of my disability and my GI Bill ends when I graduate and at that point my expenses will exceed what I will get, so I have applied to several other jobs. DS15 wants to continue homeschooling and I plan to buy a house in the area I want the girls to go to school, so going back to work full time should work out fine. Plus DD19 can possibly help with transportation, as long as it doesn't interfere with her classes or job. So, just waiting to hear back on job applications, and with 2-5 months I should have enough lead time to have new income in place by the time the disability and GI Bill drop off.

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Hats off to you having a plan and an organized way to sort through chaos. Did I miss why your disability drops? I get why the G I bill stops. And congratulations on your impending graduation☺️

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Thanks, everyone.  They are more of a blessing to me, though!  My disability will drop because a portion of it is for my dependents.  Once the divorce is final, the portion I get for STBXH, DD19 and DS16 will stop.

 

My attorney's secretary called me today to let me know that we no longer have court on the 22nd; the judge denied him being able to spend any more of the equity without a hearing.  I also signed taxes today, refund is only about 2600 but it will go to our joint account and from there to my attorney's trust account.  Tax return shows that his business made money last year, so he has no excuse for why the business can't pay it's debts....definitely looking forward to having it all settled.

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