Now that Christmas holiday is over and we are done traveling for a while (went to AZ to see DH's parents and just got home yesterday morning), I am back home and I guess back to some normalcy. But my motivation seems shot and I have been keeping to myself a lot more. I'm not using social media as much as I used to and I'm not going out of my way to text or call people or attend things. Our pregnancy seems to be on the rocks - the ultrasound a week and a half ago apparently showed the fetus was not as far along as we had calculated - 6wks not 8wks - and they couldn't see a heartbeat. They sent me home with no photo and no explanation of what was going on until I was able to talk to the midwife the following morning. Super stressful. Granted, it is apparently hard to see a heartbeat on a 6wk fetus but based upon our history I don't have hope. Nothing has passed since, except some extremely light spotting off and on. So I'm expecting that this will be another miscarriage. I don't "feel" pregnant and if this is over then I want my body to hurry up and get this over with. A ton of people in my social and family circles is announcing their new pregnancies so I really want to crawl into a hole for a while. I'm so over this.
On the finance side of things, we're doing OK. With gift money we've received we have not really snowballed any of it - just frittered it away as I suppose gift money should be. Budget line items from paychecks are being taken care of and we have been snowballing from my paychecks.. Just not the extra money we do come into.
There was an incident Sunday night on our travels home that really spiraled out of control.. I'd booked the travel arrangements back in Sept for this AZ Christmas trip. We would have a very short window of time - 4 days - to fly down, hang out, and fly home. So I tried to maximize that window by booking the first flight out of Seattle on day 1 and a later flight out of San Diego on day 4 (7:30pm to be exact). Well, on day 4 we left AZ earlier to give us time and also take our chances attempting to catch an earlier flight. Got to the airport and found that all flights back to Seattle were fully booked so not really a chance to squeeze in anywhere, even on a standby list. So we were at the airport for 6hrs until our flight. DH got so mad at me for booking the flight that I booked, because it was so late and that I never consulted him about it when I was booking. Over the course of our wait he had 5 beers at an airport restaurant (don't even want to know how much that cost) and he was so argumentative, grumpy and all around awful to me. I was texting his mom what was going on, which further pissed him off because I wasn't "keeping it between him and I". To make things worse our flight had a delayed landing and our shuttle bus back to our home town was delayed another 25min as well. It's all part of holiday travel but he was being such a monster about it, and the alcohol definitely didn't help things. I literally was running through my head how I could go about filing for a divorce. Fast forward to today, he's since apologized, bought sodas in lieu of beer when we got some groceries yesterday, and after I suggested he look into going to AA/we look into counseling again, he says he's thought about it. From experience alcohol is a huge roadblock to success in all areas of life. I've had an alcoholic boyfriend before, and I was able to dump him and move on... But now it seems I'm married (ie, Stuck With) another one. I can't just dump him. I live with him, share vehicles and a home with him, etc etc etc. Again, I am so over this.
There is a bright side to my blog post today. Next week I travel for a weeklong training at work. So I'll be on my own for a blissful (I guess) 5 days staying in a hotel. I like to opt for meal per diem so I get a refund at the end of the week, and only spend $20-$30 out of pocket for all my food, saving a bundle of money that I can use to snowball. So, there's that.
ETA: Oh, and my budget shearing last week paid off (a tiny bit) on the Verizon bill. Used to be $88 consistently, but this new bill was $75. Still high. We cut where we could going from 2G to 1G and nixing the insurance. Going down to 1Gig/mo did not do a WHOLE lot after all; apparently the employee discount does not apply to anything less than 2Gig service. So the discount went out the door, which sucks. But still, we have a smaller bill.