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I have made a little progress. Tomorrow I will have $202 in my BEF, which makes me feel a little more secure. I'm still tracking down all the debts, and while I was doing that it occurred to me that it won't really be a debt snowball because everything I owe is stuff that is past due. No minimum payments. So I'm just going to tackle them smallest to largest. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.


I have access now to all the bank accounts. That makes me feel better too.


I've been doing some more digging too. Not necessarily happy about what I've found but I have been telling myself to focus on only things that have occurred during our marriage. That keeps my mind calmer and lets me think about where I am going, not where either of us has been. I have my share of faults, but I told him everything long ago. Sometimes I wish I didn't know that he has lied to me so many times, but I can't un-know this so I have to deal with it.


I have not found a counselor yet and I really need to do that. I need help sorting this all out. I'm going to work on that today. My DD23 hit the nail right on the head last night. She said, "Mom, you never stand up for yourself." She's right, I don't. I need to learn how.

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Glad to hear that you are moving in a positive way.  Small accomplishments will raise your confidence and that will affect all aspects of your life.  I agree that a therapist can help you sort though your own issues, the problem is finding one you click with.  I was very lucky in that regard as mine has helped me learn to trust my own intuition and know when I need to remove myself from a situation.  Lack of self-confidence and self-esteem has been an issue with me forever and we are working through it!!  Good luck to you!


You can do this...we are here for you!

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