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So, I did a budget with just my income and there is no way I could make ends meet in this house with what I make now. I sort of knew that but seeing it all laid out put any fantasies I had of doing that to rest. Which is ok. I have things I need to do before I would make any kind of life changing decision anyway.


My goal for this week is to find some kind of counseling. I need that, to talk all this through. I am also going to list out my debts. Just mine. We don't have any joint debts except two tax bills so I am going to include those. Then I just have to build my EF and pay them!



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Is the house "his" or "yours"? (Meaning...are you on the title and/or mortgage?)


If it's only in his name, then you could find an apartment if you choose to move out. Would you be able to move to a lower cost of living area?


If it's only in your name, could you sell it fairly easily?


Regardless, it sounds like you have a good plan, which is wonderful. I'm glad you're seeking counseling. Good luck!

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It actually is "my" house. He is not on either the deed or the mortgage. I did, however, accept assistance from the government (Save the Dream) to keep my house from being foreclosed on, and his name is on that paperwork. I have 3.5 years before I would be eligible to sell it without having to pay back that assistance.


If I were to find myself single, I would absolutely be able to increase my income.


Hmm. One more thing to do this week...make sure I know exactly where all the money in our joint account is going!

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Further down the line, would a roommate be a possibility?


And yes, it's very important to know where the money in your joint account is going. In fact, I'd probably look over past statements as well for any unusual activity.


You should also be able to set it up so that you get an alert (email and/or text) every time there is a transaction on the account. That way you know right away if he purchased something.

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It isn't my income that's limited, it's the way the income is spent. We've not been able to agree on how to spend some of the money. That and he doesn't want me to work a second job.

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