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I hate moving


mbeaser

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Actually, I think nearly everyone hates moving. But I am pretty tired of it just now.

 

We have a great, new to us place. It is a rental. I had budgeted up to 850 a month and it is 805, so yay.

I have to pay a deposit of 180 for electric, but nothing for gas or water. I didn't pay water before (we had a well), but since this house is half the sq ft I had before (and is slab), I am expecting the water bill costs to offset the lower gas and electric.

 

We do not yet have internet because the self-install failed. We figured this out Monday, and Nov 11 was the first day they had an appointment available, but said to keep checking for earlier appointments. I snagged one that night for the 10th, and every time I was someplace with internet I would check for an earlier time. I looked yesterday and they have availability for tomorrow 830am-1030am. As a full-time, online only college student I definitely need my internet! And swagbucks....(which is paying for my internet and then some). I have still made my first goal every day, without spending money on swagbucks, so pretty happy about that.

 

Kids are doing great with the move. They really like the new house, and so far STBXH is letting us come over daily to visit the dogs. I have also been able to see DD19 then as well (although I guess she won't technically be DD anymore, she still is in my heart and mind!). I haven't seen DS16, but that isn't unusual; he is a busy high school student, and still lives with his Mom. I am still going to go to his all-star soccer game on Saturday. Sadly, DD19 and DS16 are 99% not going on our Disney trip in 2 weeks :( Their Mom gets ultimate say (she is custodial), and I totally understand her reasons (I am flying out with the 3 younger kids days before they would leave, and then DD19 and DS16 were supposed to fly out with STBXH and DS15s BFF; now instead of STBXH going it is my BFF. So, if they go, it makes them feel like they are choosing me over him, and also they wouldn't have a direct parent there. My BFF and DS15s BFF will still fly in later). Still, it really sucks. They are going to miss DD12 and DD8's birthdays, and never get to see the Osborne lights :( Since STBXH has some major honesty issues, their Mom and I are keeping in contact.

 

We have a preliminary agreement in place (would have had court Monday but we had an agreement beforehand), but I have no idea when everything will be done. In theory, it could be as early as Dec 5. But, we would have to have a final agreement done for that, and STBXH wants to delay until after Jan 1 to file taxes together. I am hoping I still get to have a relationship with his kids after everything is final, because he is not going to be happy to have to give me anything. He was mad at me today because I told my auto/renters insurance that I moved out, so they called him to let him know he needed to start his policy. Prelim agreement says I cover the vehicle I am keeping (which is titled in his name), and he covers the vehicles he is keeping (DD19s car and DS16s car that he is currently driving). He somehow thinks that didn't include insurance. And, actually, his insurance is somehow going to be lower, but he thought it was really high. Anyway, he said he would take it up with his attorney, and I had to wonder if he even read the prelim agreement (which his attorney submitted to mine). It said we would split the tax return and any bonuses. He should get an $8k bonus soon, that will be backdated with union agreement to before we separated. Yep, pretty sure he didn't read it. I actually like his attorney (we used him to get support lowered earlier this year), and I think we have a decent chance of getting a fair settlement. House appraised within 15K of what I was hoping for, so I think I will still get everything I wanted Not going to stress about it either way :)

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Good that you are taking things in stride with the move. I got a little confused with the kids description. How many are yours? How many stepchildren?

 

It would be great if you could continue with your stepchildren in spite of the divorce. Guess it depends on your relationship and how they view the divorce.

 

How are you doing? You are managing things that need to be done. You sound pretty upbeat. However, I know divorce can be difficult to go through.

 

Title is in his name-is he barred from selling it until everything is completed? Is he going to sign the title over to you? Hope you don't hit any bad bumps in the process.

 

Rent sounds very manageable, nicely done!

 

 

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He really thought you were going to pay his car insurance after the divorce?  That's quite some denial, there.

 

You are doing so great, all things considered.  I was a wreck still at this point in my divorce.  You will make it through just fine.  Great job finding that apartment.  Deep breaths!

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There are 5 kids total. The oldest 2 (DD19 and DS16) are his from his first marriage. The other 3 (DS15, DD12, DD8) are from my first marriage. I have always treated his kids like my own, and I think they see that (actually, I have probably been more lenient with his because they've not had a ton of stability). They know I love them, and that I stayed with him after I found out about what he was doing because of them. But, he is still their Daddy, and I try not to put them in the position of having to choose between us.

 

We are both barred from doing anything like selling or even signing over. I didn't move out or switch insurance or anything until the agreement was done. I can't claim much credit for how great the rent is here, I am in a low COL area :) I did pray a lot for the perfect house. The rental company had everyone come look at it the same time, on the same day. There were at least 40 people there, and I was asking for a 9 month lease (my Dad is 78, and if I need to go help take care of him, I want to be able to move before school starts in the fall). If we stay another year after that, rent will drop to 750.

 

And, yes. I somehow do think he thought of would pay insurance, at least until things were final. He comes up with some even bigger head scratchers. DS15 and I just look at each other sometimes. DS once said "it must be nice for him in his own little world, at least until he realizes what ours is really like...."

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Moving is not fun but it is the start of the next chapter of your life.  You are writing the story of your life, may the next chapters only get better and better.

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(((HUGS))) We just finished a move and it was financially brutal.

 

I am glad things seem to be going smoothly for you. I will pray for all of you.

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