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All I can do now is wait...


Freedom10

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So yesterday was our second court date - at least it was supposed to be.

 

A girlfriend went with me - we arrived really early and sat outside the courthouse smoking - as we did my ex walked passed us and into the building.

 

Anyway - I check in with the Baliff and sit down - a few minutes later my lawyer comes to me and says that while they are there - they do not have all of the financial information that they were required to provide soooooo.........

 

Continuance.....until...........

 

January..

 

January...

 

I am so depressed and frustrated, and angry - this sucks.....

 

 

I have provided everything they have asked for - I don't understand how he can't be penalized for not having his financial information ready....

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I am so sorry.  That does suck.  I'm sure you would have preferred to have all this behind you before the holidays and to start the new year with a clean slate.  Hang in there.

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Stay Strong Freedom - this process is not for the faint of heart. Know that we are here for you. 

 

How is the puppy?

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Sigh. It will end. It will end. And yes, I agree there is no justice. The wrong doers often do their thumbing of their noses with no consequences. Yes, it is so unfair.

 

A good run with your cat? or was it a puppy?

 

Exercise, enjoy friends, keep at it, the time will come.

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That sucks!  I'm sorry :(  Hopefully the judge will keep this in mind when s/he makes their final ruling if there are any "gray" areas.  Hugs!

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I'm just so angry right now - I feel so helpless, I just want to move on with my life and I can't. I simply can't,

 

I just have to focus on things I can control. It's been such a long and painful process - and I don't even know what the financial difference would be between ending our marriage in March of 14 and when I filed.

 

What if the difference would only be 10K? Is it worth it to fight this motion and continue into next year -

 

But the thing is we have no idea because they don't have their numbers - so my question is - how much longer would you hold out before you just gave up and made a deal? I mean - I've come this far so what's another few months - but damn it - I want this over...

 

How much would be worth it to hold out for?

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Freedom, I'm sorry that this is dragging on for you - and such a long continuance this time.  A dear friend is going thru a divorce right now.  My friend's STBX has dragged this on and on (in a state that has a 60 day waiting period) - has fought the settlement agreement process so much that they are having to go thru a court appointed mediator.  Yah - my friend moved out in Oct 14 - and JUST got a court date for the mediation.  This is for a couple that has ZERO assets except for a small pension that is essentially equal to the equity in the house.   Every step of the way, the STBX just fights it completely.  

 

I hope that spending some time with Elvis and maybe a run or two will help you clear your head and that you're able to move forward.  

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He is punishing you for leaving him.  It's all he has.  He has no other weapon, because you've moved on. 

 

I know this is much easier said than done, but you are still in the better position.  When this is over, you will be free.  He will be miserable still.  I bet you wouldn't trade places with him.  (I know, this is harder to do than to say, it's something I have to tell myself all the time with certain people in my life.  I may think things are unfair but I still wouldn't trade places with the people who wrong me).  

 

Hang in there.  

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I'm so very sorry.  As someone who had to go through mediation (it's required in my state) and a year-long waiting period where my court dates were continually postponed for various reasons, I completely understand your frustration and the helplessness you feel because it seems like you can't move on or control things until everything is settled.  I totally understand.  I will give you this little bit of advice though - and I learned it the hard way.  I don't know what his numbers will show.  It may not end up being worth your while or it may.  But, think very carefully about giving in just to make a deal.  That gives him the power.  He may know or his lawyer may have advised him that by dragging his feet, you will cave, and they'll get their way.  Remember that.  While caving does get you untangled faster, if there is no other reason to try to hurry it along, wait and see if you can call their bluff.  It becomes a mind game.

 

I did stand my ground on some things but there were a few things that I did give in about at the last minute just so I could get the darn divorce over with and get him to sign the papers.  Some of them I now regret.  Don't let him get the better of you.  

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I'm just tired of living in a situation where I have a roommate. It is working out very well - and has so far, but I'm so ready to be on my own again. To feel comfortable in my own house - not feeling like a permanent guest.

 

Again, I am thankful for my living situation. My roommate has been the most accommodating and she's a great friend - but I'm really thinking about renting an apartment.

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Freedom, I think that moving on and creating the life you want to live is the best option.  If being on your own is important, then find a place you can afford and rent it.  Have you been looking?  Sometimes it takes a bit of time for the right rental to come on the market and even looking for a place can be a great distraction.  

 

I left my ex in December of last year and lived with friends until March.  My place is still decorated a bit like a bachelor pad with minimal furniture, and odds and ends of my former life.  But it was an important step in moving towards a new "home".  Just do it.  Your life has changed, rebuild with what you have (and keep fighting for what is yours over the long term).

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