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137 days.


mimi

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It has been 137 days since I have seen my husband. I wish I could snap my fingers and bring him home. I am tired, physically and emotionally. I don't know how single mothers do it...

 

I miss being able to talk to my best friend. I miss being able to be myself with someone who understands me. Not having to weigh every word I say in case I inadvertently cause world war three. I miss being able to be vulnerable instead of constantly having to be in total control. I can't tell anyone if I am having a hard time or just having a bad day. Keeping it all inside and not talking about my feelings goes against my girl dna. He is having a hard enough time himself that he doesn't need to worry about me as well. My parents hate that he is in the military so telling them anything just makes them hate him more.

 

I just want to TALK to my husband...not type...TALK. I want to ask him what he wants for dinner...to just sit beside him and know he is there... to share the little things of life with him.

 

I want my life back. I want my husband, my friends, my stuff....a home that, even if it is rented, belongs to us... I want to cook with my pots and pans, sleep in my bed....

 

 

I keep reminding myself I have my children with me. We have a roof over our heads. I have a husband that loves me and misses me.

 

I am just in a funk at the moment. I am sure tomorrow will be better. I just needed to have a moment to whine and as I said I can't talk to anyone about how hard this is. The other wives understand but they are dealing with their own deployment "stuff".

 

I am hoping that when the kids and I find a house and get settled in things will get easier. At least then I don't have to spend all day cleaning just in case my grandfather or other relatives randomly drop in....which they do...a lot...

 

Anyways I will quit complaining now.

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*hugs* 

 

One or the other (relatives or deployment) would be hard.  Plus you homeschool and have special needs kiddos.  I am glad that you can at least vent here!

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I say vent and whine away, deployment of hard on both the person serving and their whole family. To be with family that doesn't support this decision is an added stress on you. I admire and thank, you and other service families that go through this over and over.

 

Hugs and take care!

 

 

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Thanks guys. I feel better as I knew I would. Just needed to cry myself to sleep a few nights then the rebound came. Took the kids camping last night which was a nice distraction. Today we are heading to my parents house for pizza and swimming.

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I am so glad you are doing better.  Honestly, I didn't find your whine bad at all!  You are so strong, and it is hard to be strong. all. the. time!   Sending hugs today because, well.  It is Monday!   :)

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i know this is from august but HUGS. and your family of all families should understand as they are retired military if i recall :(

 

Soon DH will be home, great job on the setting up the new place, i know he is so so proud of all you do!!!  I am amazed at all you do!!

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