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Moving forward




So my ex replied via his attorney - he answered the filing and I now have to fulfill a "Request for Production of Documents". You know what's weird? All of these legal documents are simply "textbook and fill in the blank." - I don't understand why attorneys do not take the time to tailor these documents to the specific case, and get this stuff out of legalese.


I would consider myself to be of average intelligence, and am myself a writer so I should be able to understand these documents without having to consult a dictionary or review paragraphs several times to understand the details.


And holy cow - what is with use of adjectives and synonyms? It's like they use no less than three of each in EVERY FREAKING sentence.


For example: "Defendant states that Plaintiff has possession, custody or control of each of the foregoing documents."


Seriously?? Why not just say - "You have these papers and we want to have copies too."



If I can't locate a document I have to indicate if:

1) it is missing or lost

2) It has been destroyed

3) It has been transferred, voluntarily or involuntarily to others

4) or if it has been disposed of otherwise.


Ok so if I have a paper - I either - have it - lost it - gave it away or threw it away - so what on earth is number 4 for? How could one "otherwise dispose" of a paper???


I am have considering drinking a box of wine before I fill this thing out and providing humorous answers for the "disposed of otherwise" option.


Let's see -

I do not have my tax papers because I accidentally dropped them into the monkey exhibit what I was visiting the zoo with my friends.


I was camping and forgot to bring a fire starter with me but I did have my inter vivos trust documentation so I used it for kindling.


I was testing my new vita mix and accidentally put my will in in. It's nicely shredded.


The paper that lists everything else that you might not have requested heretofore, (I kid you not - that's number 31, - produce everything else we have not asked for) got used for taking notes in puppy class and then to clean up a puppy mess in the class.




And the list is endless - ENDLESS


They want to know ALL Of my employer benefits - everything essentially.


There are a total of 46!! documents that I must provide (or account) for within the next 30 days.. so I hope it rains this weekend because it looks like I'll be spending a lot of time working on paperwork.


This is going to be so freaking tedious. I'm looking forward to getting it done.


Any tips - or hints or ideas from others who have been where I am now?

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It sucks but it is what it is. This is honestly the most annoying part.


30 days isn't bad, when my ex and I were redoing child support his attorney wanted all of my responses within 10 days. Not 10 business days, 10 days. Do you think SHE had her responses ready in 10 days? Nope. Even though that is her full time job and I was representing myself and working full time. And you can bet I pointed that out to her. But she was on vacation!!!!


Um yeah, other people have lives too!


Fun times.

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Remember filling out forms for child support-he requested through gov channels that the amounts be checked-and I had fun going back and REDACTING lots of info!


That would probably not work in your benefit, but it was enjoyable for me. Attorney told me ex did not need to know how much in retirement, savings, etc. I get many people do not know that and just fill in all the blanks.


Do you still have an attorney? Maybe you don't legally have to fill all of it out...

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From my studies to be a paralegal, I was taught that the main reasons that fill-in-the-blank types of forms are used so often are that 1) it is a huge time-saver for attorneys and their staff, leaving more time to spend one-on-one with the client and resulting in a better experience for all involved; 2) the time savings for the attorney/staff result in money savings for the client since they don't have to pay for time spent drafting and redrafting and redrafting request forms; and 3) using a form that covers all the bases and striking out or leaving blank those items that will go unused can help to ensure that nothing gets missed along the way.

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While fun to think about, courts/judges do NOT have a sense of humor.  (at least not in court)


Be careful of redacting information.  My x redacted his spouse's information on his tax form, and the judge ruled that it was all HIS income, and based child support on that number until he could prove that it wasn't all his income... in court.... something like 6-9 months later.
If your company has a benefit packet, you could likely simply give him that.... but I would ask your attorney what specific information you needed to provide.  Unless one of you is asking for support, I'm not sure that YOUR benefits have anything to do with anything.
Until the COURT demands documentation, like tax forms and the like..... I don't think you actually HAVE to provide anything.  It's nice, and I did it to expedite the hearings.  But he never filled out the forms we sent him... the only documents we got were the ones that the court demanded.
I would suggest also that you speak to your attorney.  While I understand giving that information about the things gathered within the marriage, it's not really his business what you have accumulated since you left.  Including benefits of employment.  So I'd ask what information is really needed.
Good luck!
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