So my ex replied via his attorney - he answered the filing and I now have to fulfill a "Request for Production of Documents". You know what's weird? All of these legal documents are simply "textbook and fill in the blank." - I don't understand why attorneys do not take the time to tailor these documents to the specific case, and get this stuff out of legalese.
I would consider myself to be of average intelligence, and am myself a writer so I should be able to understand these documents without having to consult a dictionary or review paragraphs several times to understand the details.
And holy cow - what is with use of adjectives and synonyms? It's like they use no less than three of each in EVERY FREAKING sentence.
For example: "Defendant states that Plaintiff has possession, custody or control of each of the foregoing documents."
Seriously?? Why not just say - "You have these papers and we want to have copies too."
If I can't locate a document I have to indicate if:
1) it is missing or lost
2) It has been destroyed
3) It has been transferred, voluntarily or involuntarily to others
4) or if it has been disposed of otherwise.
Ok so if I have a paper - I either - have it - lost it - gave it away or threw it away - so what on earth is number 4 for? How could one "otherwise dispose" of a paper???
I am have considering drinking a box of wine before I fill this thing out and providing humorous answers for the "disposed of otherwise" option.
Let's see -
I do not have my tax papers because I accidentally dropped them into the monkey exhibit what I was visiting the zoo with my friends.
I was camping and forgot to bring a fire starter with me but I did have my inter vivos trust documentation so I used it for kindling.
I was testing my new vita mix and accidentally put my will in in. It's nicely shredded.
The paper that lists everything else that you might not have requested heretofore, (I kid you not - that's number 31, - produce everything else we have not asked for) got used for taking notes in puppy class and then to clean up a puppy mess in the class.
And the list is endless - ENDLESS
They want to know ALL Of my employer benefits - everything essentially.
There are a total of 46!! documents that I must provide (or account) for within the next 30 days.. so I hope it rains this weekend because it looks like I'll be spending a lot of time working on paperwork.
This is going to be so freaking tedious. I'm looking forward to getting it done.
Any tips - or hints or ideas from others who have been where I am now?