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I keep getting in trouble....


mimi

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So I have been home for a whole month now. My husband gave me a month before I started my first war...I only needed a few hours apparently. I really am not kidding when I say I do best with my family when there is an ocean between us. Don't get me wrong I love them....we just don't "fit" if that makes sense. I have a sarcastic, blunt, and totally honest way of speaking. I have zero flare for "playing nice" or saying something other than what I mean.

 

The biggest problem is with my mom :( I apparently drive her a bit nuts. I won't go into it all but the biggest issue is always money. I mentioned to my dad that we had a savings goal. She took that as a judgment on her for not having one. I talk about my budget categories in reference to something we are doing (we could only eat out once that day due to the budget) and I am attacking her, etc. She even accused me of being too cheap to buy my child medication when in reality it was because I did not want to medicate a child who had no symptoms.

 

I get along a bit better with my dad and brother. Funny thing is my brother is "fiscally conservative" (his words) and WAY tighter with budget and finances than I am. You would think she would chafe more with him than me.

 

Anyways I am down to only being able to talk about trees or the weather with my dad per my mother's demands. Otherwise I apparently encourage my father to question.their lack of budget or savings plan among other things. I of course suck at that....

 

Just having a little rant ;)

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Ugh, I'm so sorry!  My mom encouraged us to do this plan, gave me the book and hounded me until I read it.  And now she keeps encouraging me to loosen up.  Obviously not when we had no income, but now that we do... frustrating.  I'm sorry yours is taking your life so personally!

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LOL!  I wondered how long you would make it!  You've mentioned similar things for as long as you have been on the boards!  

 

How about keeping it all about the kiddos and talking about the great opportunity to give them time on the farm!  :)

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I come from a family of terrible communicators, so I can understand.

Lines like this, sound so familiar and so frustrating.

She even accused me of being too cheap to buy my child medication when in reality it was because I did not want to medicate a child who had no symptoms.

 

While they have the simple answer of: how did she react when you told her it had nothing to do with cost?
My family is the master of the jab, because they're filled with tons of criticisms like this.

But each is delivered just weak enough that when pushed, they withdraw and claim they never offended in the first place.

 

I suggest the same response to those who "seemingly" disagree with my location, number of children, career, or anything else large or small:

 

Boldly and confidently own your choices. Celebrate your successes and be humble in your failures.

Or as my wife once put it: be so proud of your choices that they will be embarrassed at their criticisms.

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