*Sigh* Remember last summer when I found out I got into the program I had applied to and I was SO excited? Well, I'm just about to finish up my first year and I'm honestly not sure it's worth it to finish. The program is driving me crazy due to the teachers not knowing what they're doing (2 of them are VERY new, not very good teachers, who change the syllabus several times in a semester, and don't know when things are due when you ask them. 1 of them even acts annoyed when you ask her a question).
Other than the annoyance of the program and teachers not knowing what they're doing, I'm really not sure that I even want to practice OT anymore. This is a 2 year program (really 3 though because it's not even possible to finish the prerequs in less than a year), and I'm a year in (2 with prerequs), so I really only have 1 year to go. But is it worth it? I mean, if I hate it, and I don't want to do the job when I graduate it may be more worth it to change majors, and put that last year and the tuition into something that I DO want to do when I graduate. BUT the problem is that I am not sure there is a major that I do want to do when I graduate.
So, I DO want to graduate. At this point I'm not sure I care what I graduate in though because I can't think of a job I want to do. I've recently become interested in software, but it'd take another 3 years of school to get a BS in that because I haven't done any of the prerequs as part of my associates.
And there's the fact that I don't really know why I'm even going to school anyway. My DH makes over twice what I'll ever be able to earn in OT, I just figured out that by the time my twins graduate from high school my DH's retirement investments will be over $1M, which is plenty for us to retire on with a paid for house (DH and I will be 48 and 46 respectively), and DH isn't even sure he wants to retire at that time yet or not. So we wouldn't need any of my income if I was working anyway. I mean, it's not like we wouldn't use it, but we don't NEED any of it. We'd probably use it to help the kids out, and go on big family vacations or something. I mean, I've never met anyone who had more money than they could find places to put it. But is it a waste for me to be going to school to do something I don't want to do?
There is a part of me that wants to finish just for the sake of finishing, and there's a part of me that wants to quit right now, 3 weeks from the end of the semester (that part will lose, I WILL finish this semester!), and there's a part of me that wants to just take my last 2 generals and get my AS in general studies and call it good.
Making decisions is hard when what you thought you wanted turns out to not be what you thought it was.
What should I do?
I hate hard choices.