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Progress! & lesson learned for DH?

Gelly

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This blog entry is a mix of good & bad news ---

The good news is, my HSA finally re-loaded from last week's payday and so as soon as 8am hit, I called the audiologist and paid the bill in full. Felt nice, to mark one debt off our list. I told DH at home (he does not leave for work until about 8:45am) to fill-up the thermometer about $55's worth. Hurray for progress!

Updated my siggy.. Sure is nice!

Our auto-payment to Kay comes out in a few days so I will update again when that balance drops.

 

More good news.. Snowflake popped into our account to the tune of $3.64. Some debit card rewards our credit union has that we happened to qualify for.

 

Now for the icky news - DH was paid yesterday but it was smaller than budgeted. The week prior to Christmas we fought a lot and the way he deals with it when it gets bad - he calls out of work. Missing work because of his depression = smaller paychecks. Usually I can count on him to get 80 or more hours in a check but it was 60-something hours this time. (Half-day on Christmas Eve did not help either, he only got holiday pay on Christmas Day). So after the usual bills are taken care of, we have less than budgeted leftover for gas & groceries ($103.13 to be exact). And certainly no blow $.

 

DH knows that we are cutting it too close this month and I 've relayed that to him. I sincerely hope that not just our marital counseling, but perhaps counseling for him alone will help him deal with his occasional awful moods.. particularly how he handles things. One piece of bad news or something he doesn't want to hear, and his whole day is shot. I have to be extremely cautious to not argue, not say anything that could offend, not bring up any certain topics, pretty much walk on eggshells when he is that way. I think getting him into counseling could very well help with that and so far he's been pretty eager and looking forward to our together sessions planned in January. So I'm sure that if the counselor recommends more counseling for him (OR us), he will be open to the idea.

 

We have $7 cash in the grocery envelope but we will not be going hungry in the next 9 days. Pretty well stocked pantry, and freezer, from meat sales.

I have $23 in my wallet - my blow money. I had/have plans for how I'll be using blow... I'd like to get fabric to reupholster an old family antique chair we have with my future SIL who does upholstery for a living. Or buy a set of new wheel covers for my car, as 2 of the stock ones are cracked and just looks ugly. Or maybe get my car washed inside/out for $20 at the place near my work. I'd like some of the FlyLady purple rags (heheh). So I am hanging on to my precious cash and still sorting out what I'd really like to do with it.

 

DH and I have worked out a sinking fund amount we've agreed upon for 2015 that includes some annual home upkeep items (like filters for water, air, and range), Christmas, gifts, oil changes, vehicle tabs, Eagles dues, RMEF dinner tickets (family goes every year and his parents have always paid in the past), hunting/fishing license... We decided that because we're in BS2, we won't fund for car maintenance beyond oil changes as we will use the BEF or cashflow if needed. It'll take $160.50 per month for a total of $1926 for the year. So we'll be including this in the budget beginning January and my plan is to keep a spreadsheet to fill-in the actuals spent as the year progresses. As many people on LLNOE have done, keeping their past data helps them hone in on the following year and improve the budget based on experience.

 

 

Soooo.. That is that, for today. I think I will post an updated budget in here pretty soon since we've already had to make some changes over the past couple weeks.



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Sending you hugs. I have a very good friend whose husband suffers from severe depression. He is frequently hospitalized during the year & is not able to work outside of the home, nor on most days. They have a tween ds, who is showing signs as well. 

I can say, that over the years, counseling has been a life saver for her. They go together as a couple, he has his own team, she has her own counselor, & now their son has his own team of sorts. So maybe think about counseling for you alone as well when you are planning. Much of what you are writing reminds me of how they were 12 years ago.

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My mom struggles with depression (Zoloft has made a HUGE difference in her life!), my sister is bi-polar and my aunt has an unlabeled mental illness that is closest to schizophrenia. I can definitely appreciate the challenges you face. A symptom of depression is definitely the inability to work steadily and to struggle to control spending habits. Counseling for both of you is a great idea for sure. Even with that though, you will find that you will have to be the one to "suck it up" so to speak when he is not being reasonable or he is being sensitive, not because he is a jerk or how you feel doesn't matter, but because his brain just doesn't allow him to be otherwise. It's challenging, but doable. My parents just had their 48th anniversary and they are still very much in love, even with dad having to adjust for mom's depression (in her case she didn't get it until they had been married about 25 years).

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