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Gelly's Blog

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It's that time of year



People setting goals everywhere! So inspiring.


Christmas wound up being nice this year. DH and I had some issues a few days prior.. big fights.. He was not taking his medication consistently so I attribute a lot of it to that. I'm going to be reminding him daily if he's taken it or not. We have counseling appointments set for mid-January with a counselor referred to us by a friend. I know people say the first year newly-wed is the hardest but I don't feel it should be this hard. It gets pretty ugly pretty quickly sometimes. He seems to blame me for most everything, but I blame his mood/depression/whatever, he is so dang sensitive. Sometimes I want to yell at him to grow up and get over himself, but that's just how my mom raised me. He thinks I am too blunt, I move on too easily, I 'get over' things pretty darn quick actually. I'm just a realist, face the facts type. He is the feelings person and emotional one...


However, Christmas eve and Christmas day were actually pretty nice. A lot of relaxation. Cooking with food from our pantry. Had to run to the store yesterday for cheesecloth, onions, carrots & celery. $0 in the bank but we took the opportunity to use a jar of change we had. Used the money towards our purchase and I have $7 in my purse left now. Forgot about that.

I cooked duck for my first time (I posted in MDAH about that) - it was edible but not the best. Since it was wild caught, they are more lean than store-bought & that might have a lot to do with how dry the bird came out. Made my DH proud, though, to cook his duck that he hunted. We have one more in the freezer & unsure how I am going to tackle that one. I think rather than use the whole-bird application I want to use it pieced up (duck fried rice, or something where the gamey flavor can be masked)?


We took a nice long walk at the state park which is literally 2 minutes down the highway from our house. What a gem, I had not explored that place at length before. DH wanted to make me happy as I've been wanting to go on walks together a lot lately. Getting him to go is impossible so when he offered to do it, I jumped at the chance. He actually had a good time too so hopefully, getting him to walk with me again will be easier than it has been in the past. His knee which was operated on in November is better than ever. It used to be his excuse but now he can't play that card! :P


With the holidays, potlucks, parties, & dinners at other peoples homes over with, it is back to the menu planning system again! Payday today, so I plan to grocery shop on my way home this afternoon. Need to load up on lunch and breakfast items again (it was a huge success last time, I am pretty sure it cut down DH's convenience store spending). I am also getting a feel for what he will eat and what he doesn't go for. In time I will have it narrowed down to a science :)


DH surprised me last night when I asked him about a bunch of video games we have on a shelf. "Are there any older games in there you are done with and would consider selling?" - he said yes, in fact, and then made a big pile of games for us to sell! He halved the clutter on the shelf. He also spoke of downsizing our gaming stuff and selling the Wii, but keep the X-box. It stings a little because a couple years ago he bought the Wii, and accessories, at full price with his bonus (we were not yet engaged or in the new house). So I know that if he sells it, he will be lucky to even get 50% back. It is smart to still sell it though, right? Our Netflix is accessible via the Xbox, and he paid for a year of Xbox live just last week with his bonus. We don't use the Wii anymore. I am not the gamer, he is, so I personally don't care what system stays or goes.


Here are some of my goals for the new year (not the 12-31-15 goal, but smaller ones)

  • Start recycling "favorite" dinner recipes to cook again & begin forming a menu calendar of my own.
  • Go on walks with DH, at least 1-2x/week
  • Get the hang of batch cooking to make dinner prep easier (any tips?)
  • Keep using my planner, FlyLady and this blog to stay on track.
  • Keep decluttering and focusing on house "zones"; sell or give-away things.

And then the goals from my thread in BS1 forum

Move DH's direct deposit to our joint acct. still have not done this.

Hang up the Goal Progress chart from our DR kit to track our goals.. got the chart out and realized it's not very easily modified.. I need to fashion my own dry-erase one that tracks our own goals, not the overall Baby Steps.


Plan to pay off Hospital and Audiologist today. Snowflake ($149) goes to VISA. Hospital $ would come out of my normal paycheck and Audiologist paid out of my HSA. I could always wait to pay off the hospital out of my HSA account, but I would have to wait another 2 weeks until my next payroll, when the HSA gets funded with a chunk o' change. What do you guys think? I am ahead of payment schedule w/the hospital. If I wait, the hospital's $61 would stay on my BS2 list for just 2 weeks longer.. and their payment would just go towards the VISA this week, as that is the only non-medical debt that accrues interest.

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Since you are ahead on the hospital account, I would wait and pay that off with the HSA funds in 2 weeks, saves you the tax. BUT, you HAVE to pay the VISA with the money that you would have spent paying the hospital.

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Yes I would pay the visa and save the taxes as long as you are paying on a debt. What is your timeline in the debt payoff? I know they say the first year is the hardest but if you guys don't get that counseling that might not prove true.

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Threw $296.52 at the VISA this morning. HSA account still hasn't updated with its new balance from payroll.. It's been a little off around holidays (did the same on Thanksgiving week). So once that balance re-fills, I will pay off audiologist. First payday in January, will finish off the hospital!


We are definitely taking advantage of the counseling. We've been having a good week still, but it's so up and down. I think DH would also benefit from counseling on his own, just because of his depression. We'll see :)

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Good job on the VISA, keep it up and that debt list will be shrinking quickly.


You are not just dealing with the first year newlywed adjustments.  You have married a man with a mental health condition and you will likely have to work harder than most to have a successful marriage.  It is imperative that he gets proper medical attention and medications to control any chemical imbalances.  You haven't mentioned upward mood swings but if he is also bipolar, you are in for a roller coaster of a life and it will be exponentially more important to have constant medical attention.  I'm not saying this to discourage or scare you.  But I have seen too many people suffer too many consequences by not getting help soon enough.

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Finished my visual, but it's a laugh - I have zero artistic skills. I tried to make a thermometer on a dry erase board marked every $200 up to the $5219 which is all that is needed to payoff the debt. I texted a photo of the finished product to my DH and he responded.. well, I won't even say it. He thought it resembled something else, not a thermometer :blush:

However, I'm not letting that keep me from using the visual. whatever!



Off to complete many other things on my to-do list for this weekend :)

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