Am I wrong?
My Dh and I have gotten in to our first real argument when it comes to the kids and money. I feel bad as I am not sure if I am being hard on her like he says I am.
So my Step Daughter 23 asked for help with her student loan interest payment a few months ago. We have been helping every so often. Well after not really wanting to I agreed to put the $50 a month in the budget. This is divided between her mother, us, and her. So the other day she messages my Husband and says she doesn't have her amount and its due Oct 1. So what does hubby do, he asks me if we can pay $210. I don't agree with this but he is taking the extra out of his blow he has saved up. So what we argued about was that I told him she needs to show us all her expenses and why she can't afford this. I wanted her to do it before we agreed last time but I lost that argument. He doesn't think that it is fair that we pay for 2 kids phones bills and 1 kids insurance while they are in college and don't help her out. I will break it down for you.
DD1 married no help with $$$
DS1 On own, out of college full time job no help. Have helped in past, he paid back.
DD2 out of college since May working part time (Daughter in issue above)
DS2 out of college (completed 2.5 years then quit) works full time live at my parents but helps with bills
DD3 in College pay cell phone bill (have paid 1 month car loan) she is paying back
DD4 in college Pay cell phone and insurance (first year once she knows more on her $$ coming in will start paying insurance)
DS3 in high school so gets money clothing and extra, he does have a job so anything above his normal allowance is on him (his father pays cell phone bill and insurance is between those 2 as its his vehicle he drives)
So am I out of line that she gives us her budget?
I am sure I was out of line saying she needs to get a full time job but honestly I don't feel that way. The DD3 works 2 jobs, lives on her own and goes to college. Other 3 kids out of school work full time.
Ok so his reasoning was,
We have helped the other (they have paid back)
She has not asked for much (she lived with her mom and never asked him for help). Once she got to college we have been sending checks about every 3 months for some reason (needs food, interest payment due, and car needed tires ($400).
Ok maybe its cause she is not my blood and if this was DD3 or 4 or DS 2 or 3 I might feel different but I don't think so. We have made them pay us back too.
UGH!!! I am so torn and I thought posting this here I would feel better about it. I am just as torn as before.
Thought please? Anyone else have this problem?