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Struggling to keep up...

gmarie

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So I am really struggling to keep up with both jobs, DH, and the house. It is a constant juggling act - and no one is really all that happy - cpa boss, ebay boss and DH. They all feel like I'm not giving enough of myself and I feel like I’m going to have a breakdown. Even my cats feel neglected - they will come and sit on my keyboard and won't move!

 

DH wants me to quit ebay and focus on my “career”, although this career will give me little flexibility once I have a baby. It will mean full time daycare (as opposed to daycare just during tax season). The plan when I was pregnant was to work the ebay job plus tax season and DH thought this was a great plan. So then I lost the baby during tax season, the cpa offered more days during the year (but not full time – I have zero benefits). It was originally going to be 3 days, but quickly turned into 4. The 5th day is spent at the ebay place (mostly in long meetings), and am on the computer doing ebay work morning, night and weekends (in addition to a 50 min commute). I am also supposed to be studying to take the enrolled agent exam (paid for by cpa), and I have not touched the study materials in weeks.

 

The issue is that my income is pretty much split between the two jobs, and I get my insurance through the ebay job. The cpa I work for is young and his company is growing, so there is opportunity for me there, however he does want me to get my CPA, something that is not in our 5 or even 10 year plan since it requires grad school.

 

Over the summer, there was a required software change at the ebay job which resulted in me not being able to post anything for a month - the sales went down, of course they blamed it 100% on me. As soon as I resolved the major issues, I took a week off from work at the cpa job to focus 100% on getting ebay back to where it needs to be, which I did. So of course the sales have been super high after posting a months worth of activity- I went in yesterday thinking FINALLY they will be happy (and I have been putting SO much work into it lately at the expense of the cpa job) and instead they decided to use yesterday's meeting time to complain about how much money I make and tell me they want to cut my commission!

 

DH and I had a big discussion yesterday, and he basically said he is disappointed that I would prioritize the ebay job over my career, (my solution i was thinking about was to ask the cpa to go to 3 days until tax season) he thinks I should have a talk with the cpa and ask for a raise/or increase to full time with benefits, and also said it bothers him that I work so much since he says he took his job (and paycut) to spend more time with me.

 

And, I really just want to hold out until I do get pregnant again, and then go from there. Obviously I can’t work like this long term, but in the short term it is helping us out financially. And, I can't just quit one without getting a raise at the other, it would mean giving up most of our snowball. And the last thing I want to do is ask for full time right before tax season - it would probably mean going to salary, and I am counting on that overtime to get our retirement savings to 15%.

 

So, I am just feeling so frustrated and resentful, and really just want to run away and take a long vacation by myself!!

 

I also feel like i need better time management skills, maybe I should deactivate my facebook account, and stop researching food and lyme disease info. lol



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I just want to come give you a hug!  I hear your frustration coming right out of the screen, and I feel bad for you.  I don't have anything wise to offer as a suggestion, just sympathy.  I work two jobs now but fortunately they are both in the same company so I don't have to deal with what you do.  I hope it all resolves itself soon and your life can go back to somewhat normal.

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Thanks. ;-) I really am just so frustrated. Even my dad complains and gives me a super hard time when I don't talk to him every few days. I am just so sick of all of the guilt trips!! 

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((HUGS)) to you.  It is impossible for any of us to do it all.  There is another option - have you considered getting another FT job with benefits, and quitting both of your current jobs?  With the talk of reducing your commission on the Ebay job and the hours creep with no benefits at the CPA job, neither one sounds like a good fit long term.  I would try and find something that fits your lifestyle better.

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I hear you, but I'm just very concerned about giving up a 90% work from home job and decent health ins (which as of last week is finally pretax), when I plan to have a baby in the near future. And, I'm not even sure if they will really cut my commission, it's all just talk at this point...

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I don't see any way you can add a baby to this workload though. I had an infant while going to grad school once and I about lost my mind. All I had to do was homework and watch two kids and if was harder than any job because I couldn't get any time to work.

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The option of a different job sounds like a possibility, since neither one of the two give you what you are looking for. Sounds like you need the insurance and that, along with $$, keeps you there.

 

In today's world with your skills, there may well be another job that let's you work from home and can be flexible hours. Some insurance companies do that-have their reps take calls from customers at home with varying hours, but I used to know someone with small kids that did that and it worked very well.

 

Maybe check something like that out.

 

Annie

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Just some quick thoughts:

What is your per hour rate for each job?

How much would health insurance be thru your husbands work or on the health insurance exchange?

Does either job offer retirement benefits?

What are your long term "career" goals?

Do you enjoy either of these jobs or are they just "jobs"?

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Great things to think about, thanks!

 

Ins through ebay job is by far the cheapest available for us. Ebay job offers a 3% match on 401k. No benefits as of now with CPA firm. 

Long term career goals are accounting career; 5 year financial plan is pay off the house, and have a baby (or two) during that time. I am 36.

 

Ebay is just a job, but the people are great (well under normal circumstances lol) and I hate to burn bridges. And I can do the work at any time of the day/night as opposed to something like answering phones where you would have set hours (and need a quiet background!)

 

CPA job will not likely let me work from home very often (if at all) with a baby.

 

I also just finished my bachelors in finance/accounting in 2010, and this is my second job working for a cpa. In the last position, i was a full charge bookkeeper, my title is now staff accountant. I am learning so much more here than at the last place, and I love that he is young, not afraid of technology, and there is a lot of opportunity for me in the future. He has one full time staff accountant, and everyone else is seasonal. We don't even have a receptionist during slow season; he has an answering service so it's just the three of us.

 

He gives me most of the new clients-I just got a new one yesterday. I'm not really in a position to look for a new job - I really just need to learn as much as I can at this one and go from there. We had a good discussion yesterday, and expects to be able to give me full time at my desired salary as soon as we can bring some more clients in. Obviously, he doesn't want to commit to paying me until the work is there!  He didn't mention the cpa yesterday, hopefully that is something he won't push - but if he does, there seems to be plenty of opportunities for experienced accountants without CPAs so I can always just move on at that point.

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Keep your eyes on the horizon. The eBay job is nothing but a paycheck, don't let it grow out of proportion with your life. Talk to your husband about completely quitting that job.

What you'll find is you either happily leave it behind to focus on your career or you embrace it for the part time income it adds. This middle of the road stuff isn't working.

What would your accounting boss think of for addition compensation for prospecting new clients?

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Thanks, I appreciate your insight!

 

I did have some more discussions with the CPA boss this week and he is very open to me going full time, and asked him to give me a number. We have talked about salary before - I had given him a higher number that he can't do right now, but hinted that if I come down about 15k he could do it now, and grow into the higher number as more clients come in. But, I really have sit down and run some numbers and do some research. 

 

We both agree that we will wait until after tax season, and he fully understands where I am at with the ebay job. (he was giving me some great advice on how to deal with them last week). I am not normally so open with employers, but I felt like it was appropriate in this case - at least he understands what is going on and is supportive.

 

I did mention that I really like hourly plus overtime in tax season (vs lower salary all year) and he agreed. I just think it's a better reward for all of the hours put in during tax season. He is said I will be getting a bonus this year (last year i did not), and that he looking into a 401k. He also has the same insurance carrier that I have through the ebay job.

 

So, at this point, my plan is to give it at least one more tax season with both jobs and go from there. 

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I think this sounds great and will show your husband that you are willing to have these discussions. Sometimes that's the most important part for the spouse is just being heard. Sounds like things may resolve very well for you!

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