So I am really struggling to keep up with both jobs, DH, and the house. It is a constant juggling act - and no one is really all that happy - cpa boss, ebay boss and DH. They all feel like I'm not giving enough of myself and I feel like I’m going to have a breakdown. Even my cats feel neglected - they will come and sit on my keyboard and won't move!
DH wants me to quit ebay and focus on my “career”, although this career will give me little flexibility once I have a baby. It will mean full time daycare (as opposed to daycare just during tax season). The plan when I was pregnant was to work the ebay job plus tax season and DH thought this was a great plan. So then I lost the baby during tax season, the cpa offered more days during the year (but not full time – I have zero benefits). It was originally going to be 3 days, but quickly turned into 4. The 5th day is spent at the ebay place (mostly in long meetings), and am on the computer doing ebay work morning, night and weekends (in addition to a 50 min commute). I am also supposed to be studying to take the enrolled agent exam (paid for by cpa), and I have not touched the study materials in weeks.
The issue is that my income is pretty much split between the two jobs, and I get my insurance through the ebay job. The cpa I work for is young and his company is growing, so there is opportunity for me there, however he does want me to get my CPA, something that is not in our 5 or even 10 year plan since it requires grad school.
Over the summer, there was a required software change at the ebay job which resulted in me not being able to post anything for a month - the sales went down, of course they blamed it 100% on me. As soon as I resolved the major issues, I took a week off from work at the cpa job to focus 100% on getting ebay back to where it needs to be, which I did. So of course the sales have been super high after posting a months worth of activity- I went in yesterday thinking FINALLY they will be happy (and I have been putting SO much work into it lately at the expense of the cpa job) and instead they decided to use yesterday's meeting time to complain about how much money I make and tell me they want to cut my commission!
DH and I had a big discussion yesterday, and he basically said he is disappointed that I would prioritize the ebay job over my career, (my solution i was thinking about was to ask the cpa to go to 3 days until tax season) he thinks I should have a talk with the cpa and ask for a raise/or increase to full time with benefits, and also said it bothers him that I work so much since he says he took his job (and paycut) to spend more time with me.
And, I really just want to hold out until I do get pregnant again, and then go from there. Obviously I can’t work like this long term, but in the short term it is helping us out financially. And, I can't just quit one without getting a raise at the other, it would mean giving up most of our snowball. And the last thing I want to do is ask for full time right before tax season - it would probably mean going to salary, and I am counting on that overtime to get our retirement savings to 15%.
So, I am just feeling so frustrated and resentful, and really just want to run away and take a long vacation by myself!!
I also feel like i need better time management skills, maybe I should deactivate my facebook account, and stop researching food and lyme disease info. lol