Its so annoying.
I asked my mother if I could go over to my aunt's today where they are staying because I have no internet at my apartment and I have assignments due. My son also asks to see them daily. I was wondering if they would be there or else I wouldn't be able to get in. She said sure. A little while later, my younger sister texts me and asks if I knew our older sister was out of town for the week. I was told nothing at all before that text. This throws my plans completely off for the week.
My older sister, because she lives with them, is responsible for getting my sister across town to school. They leave for 7 in the morning to make it by 8. This younger sister doesn't drive nor does she or my mom have a car. I live 30-35 minutes away without traffic or school zones which would not be the case in the mornings. I didn't know it but my mother had already decided that I was going to spend the week here away from my plans driving my sister to and from school. I had no idea my older sister was even staying out of town the whole week. None of this was talked about.
So here I am not able to leave, don't have my stuff or my son's stuff for the night (luckily I packed him two changes of clothes in case of accidents) and I'll have no choice but to either spend the next four days here or get up before 6 to get myself and my son to this side of town to drive another hour there to school and thirty minutes home because my sister doesn't really want to spend the night at the apartment.
I told my mother last week when I had to pick my sister up from school that I couldn't keep doing it. I wouldn't have gotten home till after 8 (had papers to work on) and that's after leaving home at 5. She essential said there is no other option. I'm never told the week before sometimes not even told till 10 that night that they expect me to drive. I've told her before that beyond not wanting to lose hours out of the day, my back pain is so much worse after long car rides that always include traffic (and sitting and standing in general so I'm not just saying it) and a crying child who doesn't like to do this either.
Are all families like that? Make plans for you then expect you to do them? Is it bad that I don't want to do this this week?
On the more financial side of it, I always go over budget when I do this.
My younger sister gets paid twice a month - the first and last week - and during the gaps between she has no money. I end up footing the gas bill which is larger with all the distance I now drive and it messes up with my finances since I'm not working. On top of that, they almost never have food in the house. This is partly because of control issues on my aunt's side (doesn't like her fridge full) so I end up having to use money to buy food or what I do bring with me doesn't last long with everyone in the house so I have to buy more once I'm back home. It messes me up.
I've been limiting our time over here due to the expenses but not seeing family during the week is something I'm helping my son to work on now that they're further away. I'm wanting to set up a separate life for us because who knows we might not all be within distance forever but its hard to do when my week is interrupted.
Maybe it wouldn't bother me so much if I didn't have to drive back and forth to my side of town now. Or it wouldn't bother me as much if my mom would take my car and drive her. I don't know why it bothers me so much. Maybe its cause it was decided on for me?
So there's my rant. I'll stop now.