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Ending the Holiday Madness

Entries in this blog

The no update update.

So, this is kind of a no update update. I saw my counselor again last week. I really like her - she helps me to be calm and think things through. I've been struggling a lot emotionally lately. I think the weather being so cold and snowy and horrible is not helping. I have not been running as much as I would like - it just sucks. I've been down on myself and not chipper. I keep thinking that now I'll never have kids -therefore my life is pretty much pointless, I'll never be anyone's grandm

Freedom10

Freedom10

All of my earthly problems will be solved in one hallway – America is beautiful!

Turns out that my new lawyer and my counselor are exactly two doors down from each other in the same building. Someone should make a sit com about that. So, I went to see the lawyer that my EAP recommended. It was great. Not that my previous lawyer was not a “real” lawyer – but his office was his kitchen. His waiting room was his living room couch where I would sit on my phone and pretend not the hear the people in his kitchen talking about whatever it was they were there to see him for. But he

Freedom10

Freedom10

Going to meet with a new lawyer

So today is going to be a hard day, but I’m hoping that it will be a good one. Through the counselor that I saw last week, she told me that my employer program also provides for legal assistance. I contacted the EAP and found a new lawyer. This lawyer costs 300.00 an hour, this lawyer also knows of my current lawyer and Alan’s lawyer. So I’m going to meet with this lawyer today and auspiciously, this lawyer is in the same building as my counselor who I will be meeting right after I meet with t

Freedom10

Freedom10

Thank you for being there...

First of all – I can’t thank you guys enough for all of the support. It means a lot, it truly does. Just logging in and seeing posts from people who have to reason to be kind to me, be so supportive and in my corner means so much. I would feel so lonely without this outlet. I wish there was a way I could pay you guys back for going through this journey with me.   The therapist was good. Great even. We talked about categorizing the big things in my life and not letting one category bleed into

Freedom10

Freedom10

Blah, I'm depressed

Today - I am having a pity party for myself.   I'm depressed. I'm sad. I'll never have kids - I have a failed marriage that I just can't seem to get done with.. when I die no one will care. I've lost an entire family - inlaws - everyone on his side has just vanished. It's as if I never even existed.   I'm going to end up one of those lonely old ladies who adopts too many cats and watches enless reruns of hoarders and snapped and all kinds of crappy Dr Phil shows just so I can say to mysel

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Freedom10

[email protected]&m the Mall of America

Ok folks - I'm in MPLS for work this week and of COURSE we are right next to the Mall of America.   I have not had any downtime yet to scope the place out - but I'm so tempted to go tomorrow night if we don't have a team event planned.   They don't have taxes on clothes here - and I just have to tell myself that I already have TOO many clothes and don't need anything else. It's gonna be so tempting to wander the mall and bring home some treasures.   So talk me down folks. I don't need a

Freedom10

Freedom10

Weekend and Work Trip

This blog post will have nothing to do with the topic of divorce! Woo-Hoo!   Instead, I'm using my down time at the office to get my head in gear for cleaning up my room and my work trip.   Cosmetics - I don't really wear them but in going through the boxes that ex packed for me - I have way TOO many bottles of scented lotions, little bottles of fancy creams - just tons of stuff like that. It's ridiculous. Between that and the MILLIONS of travel sized shampoos and conditioners I own (yes,

Freedom10

Freedom10

How hard to fight?

Alan replied to my email request. He said he wants to get this finalized ASAP.   Said I can have the additional items I asked for but I can't have Little Kitty.   I currently have a 5 X 15 foot storage unit. It is full but I'm doing everything in my power to clean it out. Because I didn't pack any of the boxes myself, I'm going through each one.   Taking the kitchen table and chairs means that I will have to store them somewhere. (My roommate already has a kitchen table) and we don't

Freedom10

Freedom10

Stuff, Stuff and More Stuff

So I've been making a HUGE effort to go through all of the boxes. Everything that was put in the garage now has a home in the house / has been given to goodwill / or sold to Half Price Books.   My goal is to clear out the storage unit by the end of February - at the very least I want to be able to move to the smallest storage size they have.   Question for ladies who are divorced: What did you do with all of your wedding pictures? Alan gave me EVERYTHING. I spent the past week sifting

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Freedom10

It went well!

Got up in the morning and rented a 14 foot Uhaul, also rented a 5X15 storage unit at the same place. It costs 70.00 a month BUT they give you the first month free, so I have it now for 2 months.   I met up with 4 of my friends, 3 guys and a girlfriend. Two of the guys have kids and not much money this time of year so I paid them 60.00 each cash. I was glad to do it and they were so very helpful. We met in a parking lot and all caravanned over to my old house.   My garage door opener did

Freedom10

Freedom10

Getting my things tomorrow!

So I got a reply from Alan yesterday and we worked out that I will go to the house tomorrow at noon to get my share of our things.   I am renting a big uhaul and I have 4 friends who are going with me. Alan has agreed to not be home, and I told him I will text him when we leave.   I cried like a baby last night - I guess it was all the emotions of this really being over coming out. More than anything I will hate seeing our little kitty. I love her so much, and I can't take her. It is her

Freedom10

Freedom10

Ok, things have to get better right?

So my lawyer called me about 4:00 yesterday while I was at work. Turns out Alan and his lawyer set up a time for me to pick up items - between 12 and 1 yesterday!!   He said he didn't get the reply in time - did not check his email over the weekend.   So he told me to contact Alan directly and setup a time to pickup items.   I sent an email last night to Alan - I cc'd my lawyer but NOT Alan's lawyer as I am not to contact her. I said that the message regarding the pickup time was NOT re

Freedom10

Freedom10

Nearing the end of my rope

So I called my lawyer promptly at 5:00 on Friday and said "I have not heard anything from Ex or his lawyer."   I'm going to call my lawyer Ron from now on it's easier - anyway - Ron said that Ex (we'll call him Alan) attorney Anna called Ron and gave him the business because I am not supposed to contact Alan's lawyer directly. She claims that she did not get my email from 2 weeks ago - and only got the email where I threatened to take money out of our joint savings.   She said that I am NO

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Freedom10

Maybe I will hear back today

So I contacted my lawyer on Wednesday night.   Here is the issue - Ex is claiming that 300K he has in retirement is a "pre-marital asset". He has it in an ING account. I know that account was opened in 2006. We were married in 02 It has only his name on it.   While I do not doubt that it is the rollover of several jobs including one that he had before we were married I am still entitled to HALF of what was accumulated during our marriage. I indicated that several weeks ago and we have a

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Freedom10

Frustrated with no progress

Last Friday I emailed EX's lawyer and cc'd my lawyer. In the email I was very kind and requested access to my house. I explained that I would like to get my winter clothes, some books, some pots and pans, some dishes, my jewelry, maybe a coffee maker, some Christmas decorations.   I said that while I have keys to the house as well as a garage door opener - I have not attempted to gain entry to my house and for all I know he could have changed the locks. (I would be VERY surprised if he has

Freedom10

Freedom10

My Vacation Rundown

So it's been years since I have taken an entire 5 days off work - don't know why but I usually just take one or two days at a time.   Anyway - my roomie left for her parents house so I had the place to myself.   Sunday night I had a girlfriend over and we decorated the living room. I spent 25.00 at the dollar store and bought tinsel, a little tinsel tree for the mantel, some light-up ornaments I hung from the mantel, a couple of Christmas placemats and two Christmas wineglasses and coffee

Freedom10

Freedom10

Little update

So - nothing new on the divorce front - my attorney said he expects to hear from Ex's attorney in the next couple of days. I really, really want a resolution to this. I need / want some of my things. I have Christmas ornaments I'd like to put up this year. Candles I'd like to display. Stuff that simply and plain out belongs to me that I'd really like to have right now. But I just have to be patient.   My roommate decided to buy a new washer and dryer. Her set was at least 15 years old

Freedom10

Freedom10

Blog for a new life

I've never done a blog of any sort before - but seeing as my current situation has me creating posts that I come back to often, I'm thinking a blog would work best.   Right now - today - I'm throwing myself a pity party. My birthday is on Thanksgiving this year. I have no one to spend it with. Previously each year my (soon to be) ex and I would rent a cabin with his parents - who I love very much but no longer want to talk to me since I left their son.   My roommate is going out of state

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Freedom10

Thanksgiving Plans!

Historically, me and the holidays really enjoy one another’s company, but we fuss an awful lot getting to the day. It never fails that I’m frantically wrapping Christmas presents on Christmas Eve – or packing like a nut job while DH grumbles about “needing to get on the road” for Thanksgiving – and it never fails that I forget something we need. But this year – I’m going to change all that. I’m going to do at least 1 thing every day to get ready for the holidays and I’m starting with Thanksg

Freedom10

Freedom10

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