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Ending the Holiday Madness

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Weekend and Work Trip

This blog post will have nothing to do with the topic of divorce! Woo-Hoo!   Instead, I'm using my down time at the office to get my head in gear for cleaning up my room and my work trip.   Cosmetics - I don't really wear them but in going through the boxes that ex packed for me - I have way TOO many bottles of scented lotions, little bottles of fancy creams - just tons of stuff like that. It's ridiculous. Between that and the MILLIONS of travel sized shampoos and conditioners I own (yes,

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Freedom10

Very, very depressed

Well, it is official - one step further along I suppose. The papers have been filed and the restraining order was signed by a judge. My lawyer sent me the signed paperwork today.   This means that my ex can't do anything with our money - so far - the honor system has seemed to work. But now I don't have to check or worry about it.   It just sucks that it had to come to this. It sucks that I don't have ANY family - it sucks that I'm all on my own. I miss my in-laws. I miss my old life - I mis

Freedom10

Freedom10

The no update update.

So, this is kind of a no update update. I saw my counselor again last week. I really like her - she helps me to be calm and think things through. I've been struggling a lot emotionally lately. I think the weather being so cold and snowy and horrible is not helping. I have not been running as much as I would like - it just sucks. I've been down on myself and not chipper. I keep thinking that now I'll never have kids -therefore my life is pretty much pointless, I'll never be anyone's grandm

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Freedom10

Thanksgiving Plans!

Historically, me and the holidays really enjoy one another’s company, but we fuss an awful lot getting to the day. It never fails that I’m frantically wrapping Christmas presents on Christmas Eve – or packing like a nut job while DH grumbles about “needing to get on the road” for Thanksgiving – and it never fails that I forget something we need. But this year – I’m going to change all that. I’m going to do at least 1 thing every day to get ready for the holidays and I’m starting with Thanksg

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Thank you for being there...

First of all – I can’t thank you guys enough for all of the support. It means a lot, it truly does. Just logging in and seeing posts from people who have to reason to be kind to me, be so supportive and in my corner means so much. I would feel so lonely without this outlet. I wish there was a way I could pay you guys back for going through this journey with me.   The therapist was good. Great even. We talked about categorizing the big things in my life and not letting one category bleed into

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TGIF!

And not a moment too soon! This has been a roller coaster of a week, and I've got a ton of stuff to do this weekend that I'm looking forward to.   1) I'm borrowing a pickup truck on Sunday and I'm cleaning out my storage unit. The payment is due Monday if I want to rent for another month and I can't see the point in giving them another 80.00.   The only things that are left are a large leather couch - (which I have been given permission to put in the basement game room) a desk and a working

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Stuff, Stuff and More Stuff

So I've been making a HUGE effort to go through all of the boxes. Everything that was put in the garage now has a home in the house / has been given to goodwill / or sold to Half Price Books.   My goal is to clear out the storage unit by the end of February - at the very least I want to be able to move to the smallest storage size they have.   Question for ladies who are divorced: What did you do with all of your wedding pictures? Alan gave me EVERYTHING. I spent the past week sifting

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Freedom10

Sick of the Rain!

Holy COW!!! I live in the Midwest and we've had nothing but rain for the past 6 weeks. I mean it - I've counted three nice days in the last month.   Luckily, there has been no major flooding in my area, but if it keeps up like this I imagine lots of basements will get flooded. The ground is saturated and there is nowhere for more water to go.   Having Levi in this is also interesting. Working from home I can usually get him out for a walk before it starts to pour. He'll also go outside for p

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Pre-Op / Counseling / and Anger

Today I go in for my pre-op tests (blood test etc) I've never had surgery before so I have no idea what exactly this entails, but I suspect it'll be pretty standard.   I am meeting with my counselor beforehand. (it simply worked well with my PTO).   Big mix of emotions regarding this.   Some folks say to fight and keep my fertility at least until I'm 45, others say the hysterectomy is the right decision. The thing I keep coming back to is that I'm 40, I'm single for the foreseeable future,

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Ok, things have to get better right?

So my lawyer called me about 4:00 yesterday while I was at work. Turns out Alan and his lawyer set up a time for me to pick up items - between 12 and 1 yesterday!!   He said he didn't get the reply in time - did not check his email over the weekend.   So he told me to contact Alan directly and setup a time to pickup items.   I sent an email last night to Alan - I cc'd my lawyer but NOT Alan's lawyer as I am not to contact her. I said that the message regarding the pickup time was NOT re

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Nearing the end of my rope

So I called my lawyer promptly at 5:00 on Friday and said "I have not heard anything from Ex or his lawyer."   I'm going to call my lawyer Ron from now on it's easier - anyway - Ron said that Ex (we'll call him Alan) attorney Anna called Ron and gave him the business because I am not supposed to contact Alan's lawyer directly. She claims that she did not get my email from 2 weeks ago - and only got the email where I threatened to take money out of our joint savings.   She said that I am NO

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My Vacation Rundown

So it's been years since I have taken an entire 5 days off work - don't know why but I usually just take one or two days at a time.   Anyway - my roomie left for her parents house so I had the place to myself.   Sunday night I had a girlfriend over and we decorated the living room. I spent 25.00 at the dollar store and bought tinsel, a little tinsel tree for the mantel, some light-up ornaments I hung from the mantel, a couple of Christmas placemats and two Christmas wineglasses and coffee

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Moving forward

So my ex replied via his attorney - he answered the filing and I now have to fulfill a "Request for Production of Documents". You know what's weird? All of these legal documents are simply "textbook and fill in the blank." - I don't understand why attorneys do not take the time to tailor these documents to the specific case, and get this stuff out of legalese.   I would consider myself to be of average intelligence, and am myself a writer so I should be able to understand these documents witho

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Maybe I will hear back today

So I contacted my lawyer on Wednesday night.   Here is the issue - Ex is claiming that 300K he has in retirement is a "pre-marital asset". He has it in an ING account. I know that account was opened in 2006. We were married in 02 It has only his name on it.   While I do not doubt that it is the rollover of several jobs including one that he had before we were married I am still entitled to HALF of what was accumulated during our marriage. I indicated that several weeks ago and we have a

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Luck O the Irish To Ye!

Wow - well today marks a big "anniversary" for me. It's officially been a year since I moved out. I think about where I was a year ago today, what I was feeling - how I was thinking - what has happened in the last year. The fact that we are still not done.   I wonder how Alan is doing. I wonder what he is going to do today. Is he even in town? Is he out of town on business? Is he thinking about today the way I am or has the anniversary of the end of our marriage completely slipped his m

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Little update

So - nothing new on the divorce front - my attorney said he expects to hear from Ex's attorney in the next couple of days. I really, really want a resolution to this. I need / want some of my things. I have Christmas ornaments I'd like to put up this year. Candles I'd like to display. Stuff that simply and plain out belongs to me that I'd really like to have right now. But I just have to be patient.   My roommate decided to buy a new washer and dryer. Her set was at least 15 years old

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Little by little

So, I'm trying to actively incorporate better things in my life. Someone gave me a running leash. You clip it around your waist and it clips to the dog - there is a handhold and it has a little stretch to it. She wasn't able to use it to run with her dog, so she gave it to me.   I took Levi out on two runs with it and it works really well! I like it and I think he really likes it too. We did two miles each time. I have to send her a thank you note.   I went to my first AA meeting. I picked a

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Life on a seesaw

As the title announces, I'm on a seesaw, but I'm trending toward the lighter side of it.   I'm 2 weeks and 1 day out from surgery. No further ahead on the divorce front though. I really, really want to hear back from them. I hate that he is holding this up. If I don't get a reply in the next couple of weeks I'm going to go ahead and file. There is NO REASON this has to take a year and a half to complete.   I did my taxes last night - owed 1,600 federal so I paid that. I'll get 200 back from

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It went well!

Got up in the morning and rented a 14 foot Uhaul, also rented a 5X15 storage unit at the same place. It costs 70.00 a month BUT they give you the first month free, so I have it now for 2 months.   I met up with 4 of my friends, 3 guys and a girlfriend. Two of the guys have kids and not much money this time of year so I paid them 60.00 each cash. I was glad to do it and they were so very helpful. We met in a parking lot and all caravanned over to my old house.   My garage door opener did

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I'm moving

I've decided to move out of my roommate's condo.   Perhaps it's not the greatest financial decision - but it won't be too much more expensive.   I just NEED NEED NEED NEED my own place. I can't continue to live out of one bedroom. My mental health depends on moving on.   I signed a lease for eight months which will end in August - hopefully I can transition directly from my apartment to a house because with any luck at all the divorce will be over by then.   I signed a lease on a two bed

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Freedom10

I'm going to see a dr.

That's it - I've broken down - I have an appointment with a psychiatrist today at 3:30.   Of course this psychiatrist is NOT part of my health insurance plan. I called, and looked and searched for someone in my plan. There were a couple - but they are for children only.   I will state this once and now - we need to make mental health care as readily available and affordable as physical health care. I've never looked for mental health care before- and it's ridiculous that it is SO EXPENSIVE a

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I'm Back!

Hi Everybody!   Six weeks ago yesterday was my hysterectomy - I am back in the office today and have not touched a computer since April 15th.   So I'll give you all the run down.   April 15th - my friend took me to the hospital - I was scared out of my mind as it was my first (and hopefully) only surgery. As soon as they gave me the happy drugs I was good to go. The surgery went well. I had a Total Abdominal Hysterectomy and my surgeon also took one of my ovaries because it was so encased

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I'm back and everything is different!

Wow - It's been a while and a lot has happened - actually - everything that could have happened has indeed happened.   I can't stay on long - but here is where we are:   I moved into my own two bedroom apartment in December of 2015.   In Feb of 2016 I was laid off after 10 years.   I freaked out - totally freaked out. Got very depressed - got suicidal - wanted to simply not be anywhere anymore - no job, no husband, no divorce, no friends - it was a really crappy three months - like real

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I need a Budget

For the first time in years, I'm in debt. I owe 3,215 to a Credit Card (I know, I know, 1,600 of that is federal tax for 2014. Admittedly, the rest of it was me buying stuff, not as an excuse but in the last year I've had to purchase a lot of necessities that I previously owned, kitchen stuff, and yes, I spent money where I didn't need to. I My credit card charges 10% - it's a USAA card.   I will say that I STOPPED using the credit card 2 months ago.   I owe 1,747.53 in medical bills. I have

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