How important are the discussion groups in FPU?

[HappyChappyx4]

I am guessing that this is how every FPU goes.... you watch the video, then break into personal discussion groups.

Well, we started our FPU last Sunday. We were placed in a discussion group with 4 other people - they are all related. One guy (probably mid 30's) sat in the chair, arms crossed, with nothing to add. His sister (probably late 30/early 40's) told us that their Mom is having them take this course. The ladies daughter and her fiance (18 and 19 years old) are also in the group.... the fiance said as long as he is happy, he doesn't mind being poor.

I am so bummed right now.... I was really hoping for a great, supportive group, who is just as motivated as my dh and I are. And maybe it will happen..... but what do I do if it doesn't?

I just :prayer: that the group gets better and can help to motivate my dh and I even more. We are definately in this for the long haul, but it always help to have accountibility people and people to discuss the ups and downs with.

Do you think a good discussion group is important for this to work? If you were in this group and it continued to not be positive or encouraging, would you request a new group?

I am not trying to be negative.... but I also don't want to waste the 1st half of the classes hoping that the group gets better.

[Roy Randolph]

I feel the group discussions are very important. if this was your first class, your coordinator should of NEVER split of the discussion groups like this. In the beginning a lot of people will not say much, only after the 4th or 5th class does people really start to open up.

Being honest and sharing is one of the best ways to get other people to open up, with some people it just takes a while.

[cheapme]

When I went through FPU last year I was in a group that was here nor there about "doing" the dave thing... I was hoping to get in a group with other singles, did, but found that they were not as anxious to get out of debt but I did not let that deter me... I decided that I was thye ONLY one in charge of MY finances and that I would do what I had to do to get out of debt and NOT let them get me down... One of the couples that was in my group, he sat in the first meeting with a very bored look on his face, arms crossed, sleepy, the whole nine yards, she "made" him come to the class, and in the end they were one of the ones that were making goood progress... and he opened up and participated... I would have loved to have more of the singles be interested in the process but since they weren't I figured I would be as that was why I was there... One of the married ladies that took the class by herself, her dh worked at night, complimented me on being so diligent about the cash envelopes, she tried it and found she spent the whole amount at one time so she just dropped it... I did get a little discouraged wehn I heard the amount that other people were paying off but talked to one of the facilitators and asked her how long it took them to pay off everything, get out of step 2, and she said about 5 years as they had built hteir dream home etc. but you can do it... keep your head up, you can do it and come here often as it is helpful for accountability... good luck... vickie
P.s. We did have one lady that HER LANDLORD paid for her to come to the class as she was wayyyy behind on everything and she came like 4 times and then off and on.,,, she did nto take it seriously at ALL. I don't think she thought she had a problem so if someone else is paying for them to come to the class and they don't want ot be there they are NOT going to get much out of it... just my opinion... vickie

[BzyBee DH]

Can you ask to redistribute the groups?

[JimFPU]

You should not be divided up in such small groups, or with multiples from the same family (unless the group is bigger...I have a mom and two sisters in my small group right now, but I also have about 15) See if you can get more people in the small session.

[Pam in GA]

Our small groups have 15-20 in them. IMHO 10-15 is ideal.

At the first meeting our minister gave everyone a sheet to fill out to get their "feel" for what type of group they'd like to be in. They could list someone they did not want to be in a group with (such as their neighbor, 'cuz they might not feel like opening up much), someone they wanted to be in a group with, and whether they were single, married, etc.

I do believe those groups are too small, especially because you have some people drop out or miss a couple of lessons.

People will open up more as the weeks go on usually. Each group has their own personality, so it can definitely vary.

[HappyChappyx4]

Thanks for the replies... I am hoping that as the classes go along, they will open p more. I too was also surprised that they put all the family members together. The LAST thing I would want is my parents and my uncle knowing my financial situation!

I'll let you all know how it goes tonight. :)

[HappyChappyx4]

Last night was much better!!! :c2:

Our group only had myself and my dh show up last night..... well, 2 of the others came for the video, then left. So they added us to a different group, along with our leader.

At the end of the group, my dh mentioned that he really enjoyed the larger group better, that he felt he got more out of it. So the leader and our leader decided that we would just merge the groups into 1!!

YEAH!!

[Pam in GA]

Great!